Rebirthing
by BlackWolf2Dragoon
Summary: Based off the novel, Regeneration by Pat Barker. Shell Shock; a mental disorder caused by stress of active warfare. With soldiers falling to Shell Shock, doctors struggle to find a cure. Fullmetal and Flame are next in line. RoyEd
1. Admitted

Now, good evening ladies and gentlemen! (Are there any guys reading this? Huh, never woulda thought.) PLEASE keep in mind this is my **FIRST **fanfic under Fullmetal Alchemist, even if I HAVE been reading them for months, I've only just bothered to upload one now. I've tried my best to keep the characters as in character as I could get them, but since I'm kind of overly exaggurating what Roy has and what Edward has, it's kind of DIFFICULT. And they're gay. So, please understand that. Thank you.

I want to give a big thanks to Lanny-Sama, who has given me a few ideas in this story and helped when I was doubting myself about this story. Also thanks to my bestie, Charlio4444, she approved and encouraged this, yaoi fan chick she is. She's mad, I'm telling you 8D

I should point a few things out, this is during the Ishballen war, it's a bit different to what really happened in the war (if I hadn't, the situation wouldn't have been serious enough for the mental condition to arise really) but the time is around 1917, the exact same time it was half way through the First World War, so this is mirroring what was happening in the real world that this parallel world is having but dealing with it in different ways, similar but different.

Here are a few facts for you to keep in mind:  
Edward is aged around 20 here, Roy is still about 29. You have to be 18 to be in the military, so it was necessary to change Edward's age, whilst for Roy there was no need.  
There are NO homunculi, this is a story about mental recovery, not blowing shit up and taking over the world.  
Fuhrer King Bradley isn't corrupt, he's just not as much a sensitive soul as we hope or think he should be.  
This is a RoyEd story, so if you hate yaoi, fuck off.  
This is not a correct description of how soldiers were treated for Shell Shock in World War One, but it is close and I will try to be as accurate as I can be. Though I must state that soldiers were not locked in their rooms nor were their hands in stocks, this is just in case because they ARE State Alchemists, after all.  
Edward is not Roy's Subordinate, that seems a bit far-fetched. (As if this isn't already xD!)  
Maes is alive, Alphonse has his own body he never lost in this story, so don't ask, Maes also isn't married yet, or even engaged.  
This is based on the first anime, but really there won't be much about the anime itself, just little snippits. Though there are some parts that are from Brotherhood, so if you're unsure, you are free to ask ^^

Did I miss anything? I hope not! xD

This story is based from the novel Regeneration by Pat Barker. Anybody read it? I have to for my A Levels (That's the equivalent to college for you guys not understanding the British concepts of educational... 'ranks' xD I suppose I can't complain idk wtf this 'Sophomore' and what not is either! Sounds like gobblediguke to me) Speaking of British;  
**YES I AM USING SOME BRITISH WORDS AND PHRASES IN THIS STORY, SO NO IT ISN'T SPELT WRONG IF YOU SAY SO (unless it's a typo, then yes it is xD)  
**Again, if you are unsure, then please ask! I've had people condecending me before because I spell things differently and don't know what "Twinklies" or w/e that is are! British and proud, so hush up ;3

Please remember that this story may have upsetting scenes and some yaoi goodness so if either are offensive make friends with the back button and leave, I don't need complaints about something I am being blatantly obvious about.

Oh and this is also my first PROPER yaoi story... if it sucks, well you know why.

**MASSIVE HUGE FUCK AWESOME A/N**

Disclaimer~ This is FANfiction, therefore I do not own this. I forget who does, such a disgrace of me!

Warnings: Violence, emotional distress, swearing (this is Edward Elric we're talking about) thoughts on self hatred.

NOTE: Use ctrl and f at the same time to see what those footnotes mean, just press the number (I'm terribly sorry that dates are used in this chapter, so be prepared to search a bit more then usual)

* * *

Admitted

_Subject: Major Edward Elric_

_State Name: The Fullmetal Alchemist_

_Admitted: 27__th__ June 1917_

_Symptoms: Waking up vomiting at a regular occurrence, vomiting blood, nightmares most nights, refusing orders._

_Admittance Requested By: Lieutenant Colonel Zolf Kimblee 'Crimson Alchemist'._

_Other Notes: Has an automail right arm and left leg, must be attended to by his mechanic every six months and oiled once a week at the very least. His mechanics are listed under the names of Pinako and Winry Rockbell, both from Resembool.(1) Allow them access to Fullmetal when asked to do so. Fullmetal is to be visited regularly, also, by his younger brother, Alphonse Elric, to help study for the State Alchemist Exam for the coming spring. Allow books but refuse any writing utensils of any sorts, check their gloves for any hidden arrays and standard search procedures apply. _

Dr Tim Marcoh sighed as he viewed over the paper he had received when Fullmetal was brought in. It seemed a lot more complicated and fuller then any other admittance notes he had seen from his other patients. Then again, no other of his patients had automail, nor any close relatives near the area that were able to visit them at a regular basis. Marcoh figured him one of the lucky ones in Lab Five; some had no visitors at all that weren't military.

Picking up his pen, Marcoh added an extra reference in how he and Fullmetal were proceeding.

_Date: 2__nd__ July 1917_

_Procedure Number: #3_

_Method Used: Calm approach, standing on equal ground and be seen as a friend to get him to open up._

_Progress: Fullmetal refuses to talk anything regarding his past, no matter how far back or close it is. He refuses to cooperate and is getting agitated at the lack of movement and freedom allowed currently in Lab Five. Perhaps tricking him with the use of our motto 'Equivalent Exchange' would bring results?_

_Methods to Consider: Continue with the calm approach in hopes of Fullmetal opening up, if it fails, hypnosis may have to be considered._

Dr Marcoh signed the bottom before placing it inside its corresponding file and filing it away for the next procedure with Fullmetal. Marcoh wasn't looking forward to it at all. Fullmetal wasn't just silent, he was also very loud. Especially with his height issue, or lack thereof. He also didn't seem to respond much to his state name. Would it be any different if Marcoh was to address Fullmetal by his given name? As Edward Elric? It seemed unprofessional, but given the amount of freedom he was given to find a cure for shell shock...

It was certainly an appropriate name for the _condition. _It was almost like a disease, spreading through those returning from the war with no cure. Nobody knew how to deal with it, with such little research and notes on the condition. It hadn't even been named until the first case turned up in 1914, three years ago. It was even harder when some soldiers didn't even want to be cured. Fuhrer's orders were absolute, no shell shocked soldiers were to return to battle until cured, that was the duties of the doctors around Amestris. Fuhrer King Bradley didn't care how they did it, just if they got the job done. There were almost no restrictions on what to use on the unfortunate dogs. Torture was included if it brought positive results.

Marcoh cursed as a file fell from its place, papers scattering everywhere. With a grunt, he got down on one knee to collect the life draining objects. They were both tedious as well as energy draining, even the military despised them, spending more time writing out paperwork then going to do actual military missions.

The doctor's train of thought halted as a familiar name struck him from one of the pieces of paper. Looking around, seeing that he was alone, he went to read the report.

_Subject: Colonel Roy Mustang_

_State Name: The Flame Alchemist_

_Admitted: 2__nd__ July 1917_

_Symptoms: Muteness, severe paranoia, volatile, nightmares and occasional hallucinations._

_Admittance Requested By: Lieutenant Colonel Maes Hughes, head of investigations._

_Other Notes: Recently executed two doctors under the surnames of Rockbell, however this is to remain classified wherever possible. Flame has recently been acting volatile to all whom does something he's displeased or forced to, approach him with caution. Do not, repeat, __do not __give him his gloves at any time, refuse the use of any writing utensils and he is to be kept under tough surveillance. __The recovery of his voice is of utmost importance._

Marcoh was taken aback. Surely, it didn't mean _the _Colonel Roy Mustang? The Flame Alchemist, admitted to Lab Five? If the request hadn't seemed so dire and urgent, he might've thought this a joke from the other doctors, but it clearly wasn't. Dr Marcoh had seen Colonel Mustang on the battlefield once, before he got sent over to Lab Five when multiple cases of shell shock started spreading like a virus. That Mustang had been just that, as untameable as the beasts themselves, just as majestic as one too. He was untouchable, proud, not to mention smug, arrogant and irritating. But above all, he was unbreakable, his eyes ever searching, ever judging, ever alert like the raven he was. How could such a person be sent to Lab Five, of all places? Roy Mustang had been in the battle from the start, so why suddenly break down now?

Curious about this turn of events, Dr Marcoh took it upon himself to see which doctor the Colonel was given. That's when he wished he'd never thought that, or even looked. The poor dog had Dr Yealland, who, like some other doctors had done, had taken the more alchemic route to solving the problem. His ways were harsh, however. He believed that any seemingly physical difficulties caused by this shell shock will be put back to use through the use of electricity, which seemed like a logical theory, but to electrocute a soldier merely to get him to talk... a soldier that should be deemed a hero, brave and honourable to go out into fighting for Amestris, to be treated like... like a _dog. _How could the Fuhrer tolerate this!

To make matters worse, the Colonel was deemed volatile, how was shocking him with fifty worth of volts going to make things better? If anything, it would make things worse, a possibly violent reaction with an equally violently unstable man. Dr Marcoh couldn't let that happen, even if the Colonel wouldn't mean to kill, he probably could, easily.

Putting the file back, Dr Tim Marcoh kept the cell number of Roy Mustang's cell in mind before heading off to his next patient in need of help.

...

In cell twelve, a sigh was heard. Not a sad sigh, not a happy sigh, a bored sigh. Something quite extraordinary to be heard in the whole of Lab Five, something nearly foreign. However, said owner to the sigh hadn't yet realised this. Major Edward Elric was just as the sigh suggested, _bored. _How would one be bored in such a place, you ask? Ed looked around his cell; his hands were bound apart by stockings, in fear of him being able to transmute without a circle, a feat he was famous for these past couple of years and he was stuck wearing the _stupid uniform. _Said uniform being the military outfit. From the start, Edward despised the outfit, stating "But it's bluuuuuuuue!" in a childish whiny voice, as if it would help his case of getting out of wearing the thing. He was more annoyed, however, at how his hands were bound. How did they expect him to read with his hands like this! It was impossible! _Damn idiots and thinking I'm fucking inhuman or some shit. _

A loud door banging open caught the young soldier's attention. Now _that _was something interesting. Heading towards the bars that separated him from the main corridor walkway, he managed to stick his head through the bars, the bars wider then normal due to the fact the stocks were too thick to fit through anyhow, so it didn't really matter, and he caught the sight of, once again, much to his distaste, the damned blue uniform. Three of them, in fact. Two of the owners were fighting with the third owner of the uniform, who seemed more then simply distressed.

The two owners, Fullmetal decided, were unimportant, but the third, now _he _was interesting. Kimblee had already figured Fullmetal was 'less then normal', in his words, and that was another reason why he was stuck in this dungeon of boredomism, a word he made up completely on his own. Kimblee was acting as if you could cure homosexuals, though it really wasn't a surprise Edward found himself preferring cock over vagina. It was clear, ignoring the long hair and golden unnatural eyes, he hated anything seen as 'pussy like', roses, expensive dates, dressing up, Ed really didn't give a shit about all that. So long he was deemed important, _quite important, _he may add, to the person's life and the sex was good and a variety, softcore and hardcore, he would be happy.

Taking that into account, looking at the newly arrived soldier, Edward noticed that ignoring his desperation, he could find himself becoming interested in the soldier. That is, if he doesn't turn out to be a psycho. The soldier had raven black hair and equally black eyes, somewhat pale skin, but by the way the soldier was struggling with the other two bringing him to his cell, it didn't tell Ed much about the personality.

"Colonel, please just calm down!" Guard number one tried desperately to calm the soldier down, to little effect other then a glare and a continuingly struggling soldier. The title caught Fullmetal's attention. A Colonel? So, that must mean he was intelligent, which was a good thing, Edward couldn't stand being near idiots, even if it wasn't their fault.

"Colonel Roy Mustang, please!" Now _that _certainly caught Edward's attention. He had heard that name before when revising for his State Alchemist exam, about _the _Colonel Roy Mustang, the Flame Alchemist. How he could make things explode with the simple snap of his fingers whilst wearing his trademark gloves, which Ed noted he wasn't wearing right now. The military had probably removed them before he came in.

Then Edward frowned, he had always heard the stories about how the Colonel was unstoppable, unbreakable, so what was he doing here being dragged in like the dog they all were? Mustang was the last person he'd thought would break down like these alchemists.

Ed continued to watch as Mustang was eventually pushed into the cell, the cell locking quickly behind him as the volatile man tried quickly to get out, to no avail. The soldier didn't utter a sound, not a single one, even as he glared death daggers and his teeth were practically grinding his teeth. It didn't take him long before he gave up and went to sit beside the wall, close to the bars but away from the soldiers, his hands also in stocks even if he was mostly useless without his gloves. The soldiers wasted no time in walking away, leaving Mustang to vent out his emotions alone.

Ed, however, still found the situation unbelieving, really, how would his inspiration into joining the army and studying alchemy as if it was his life be sent to the loony bin? That was exactly how it felt to him, a bin, rubbish tip of discard for nows and labelled as 'insane freaks'.

Edward had to check, had to make sure. "Hey," He hoped that at least got the attention of the Colonel directly opposite him. When the Colonel didn't reply, Ed tried again. "Hey, Colonel?" That got Mustang's attention and he turned his head, just to see who the annoying little pest was that was interrupting his inner thoughts.

Said little pest was, indeed, little. Probably no older than twenty with, surprisingly, automail limbs. It wasn't such a shock to see someone having automail limbs, considering they were dealing with rogue Ishballans(2) hiding away dangerous criminals, some of whom also know alchemy but most importantly, bombs and land mines. Walking across the desert was like walking the plank with hidden pikes that shoot upwards if touched, you were dead if you stepped on one, or pretty much so.

Focusing back on the 'pest', Roy deemed him somewhat remarkable. He reminded himself that this was deemed likely merely because of his age, but the golden hair up in a warrior's plat, golden eyes with a fire as passionate as his late fire that sparked from his trademark gloves and slightly tanned skin from fighting in the desert contradicted that very thought, not to mention the way the metal hand shined from the light overhead. Roy wondered how far the metal travelled; did he lose his whole arm or just half of it? Did it hurt when installed?

To answer the pipsqueak, Roy tilted his head in question. Ed was taken aback by this, why wasn't he saying anything? He hadn't uttered a mere sound since he arrived, neither a snarl, growl, curse or groan.

"Uh," He took a moment to gain his bearings, before mentally shaking his head, keeping his head up in confidence. "Are you really _the _Colonel Roy Mustang?" With the extra emphasis on the _the, _Ed knew he'd get a straight answer.

Mustang should've expected such a question. His deeds were known far and wide, The Flame Alchemist, able to blow up an entire building block with the simple snap of the fingers. Who wouldn't go around bragging that you knew such a creature? It was only a matter of time before the press really did some pressing into the matter. However, reporters were restricted in the Ishbal war area and not many made it even close to the battle, where Roy had resided deep inside of it, near the middle. It was tough, but he carried out his orders, ignoring the attention he knew would be spreading behind, no thanks to Maes Hughes, of course, who would jump at the chance for the man to become famous and 'get a life' as Hughes put it. How irritating of him. He was also responsible for the common heading for Roy, 'Mustang riding a mustang', for it was true, Roy did indeed ride a Mustang to help his men and break off the line of charging civilians.

Roy had no option but to tell the truth, besides, what did it matter if the kid knew his identity anyway? He was hardly going to call a bunch of reporters and tell them where he was at, although Mustang certainly didn't need it, it would utterly destroy his reputation to mere nothing, and his pride. The Colonel nodded to answer the young soldier's question, before raising an eyebrow, the action asking for the exchange to be equalled.

The Major, going by the law of Equivalent Exchange very strictly, understood what Flame meant. "I'm Major Edward Elric, the Fullmetal Alchemist." Edward didn't expect Mustang's eyes to suddenly widen.

Roy had heard rumours about the Fullmetal Alchemist, the young soldier could transmute without a circle, one of the only ones known able to do such a thing. He was also one of the youngest becoming a State Alchemist at the mere age of eighteen. Mustang knew how hard the exam was, it took a complete genius alone to do it, so how could you define Fullmetal? _Impossible, _was the only word Roy could describe the small alchemist.

Edward watched as the alchemist seemed to be thinking really hard, the cogs could practically be seen turning inside his head, until his face burst out into a smirk, it looked like a... _oh God, he's one of those arrogant pricks. _Well, it came to no surprise for him, he should've expected the Colonel to at least be quite arrogant and barely modest, if at all, but he didn't figure the man was still completely arrogant even as he was completely defenceless, like the rest inside Lab Five, and his mental capacity probably even lower than his right now.

Then the older soldier did something the volatile little one wouldn't forgive or forget for a long time. The Flame alchemist pointed towards Ed, before posing out his index finger and his thumb about a few centimetres apart with a questionable gaze. The question was simple; "_A bit small, aren't you?" _

"ARE YOU CALLING ME SMALL!" Ed was, unremarkably, fuming. Despite being twenty years of age, he was still prone to exploding should he overhear anything indicating or mocking him about his height, no matter how subtle.

Colonel Mustang blinked, he certainly hadn't expected that. He had maybe expected a small curse or told to shut up, maybe even a flipped bird but he hadn't expected the little alchemist to be fuming in deep fury, nostrils flared and his posture tense, ready to lunge. Then he smirked again, _oh this will be fun. _If the volatile soldier was going to be staying as long as he was, then perhaps this torture treatment wouldn't be such torture after all, he wasn't going to pass up the chance to have fun along the way. The young man just simply looked _divine _in that state, _dangerous. _Even Roy could appreciate the mere lust for anything dangerous, something most men would never pass the chance to investigate, at least in the military, anything to get away from the mundane paper signing. That's what brought him to agreeing to go to war, not just the fact it meant court martial should he refuse.

Fullmetal continued to fume as he saw the Colonel's smirk widen, if anything. Ed should've known he'd be that type, now he was going to have this jerk poking at his height as often as possible, just to get laughs at his 'short stature'. Even if he was of a higher rank then himself, Ed wasn't about to let the prat push him about. Ed's pride wouldn't allow it.

Still fuming, he didn't think before he asked, "What, can't you just say it to my fucking face?" and paused when he caught the flinch from Mustang. He grew silent as he watched Flame look down in concentration and opened his mouth as if to speak, his throat muscles tensing, willing him to speak. But not a sound escaped. The state alchemist near snarled in frustration, either at the situation or at himself, Edward didn't know. Flame turned his head away, refusing to look at Fullmetal in the eyes, a clear aura of shame radiating outside his cell. Roy just didn't understand, he felt perfectly fine, he hadn't been injured at all during the last few hours and he carried out all his orders, so just because of a lost voice he was thrown into the loony bin? That didn't sound very equivalent, but then again, most of the state weren't exactly alchemists. He couldn't understand why he couldn't talk either, the vocal cords hadn't been touched, no alchemy was used upon him other then water (which left Roy standing on the sidelines grumbling and whining about being useless in the rain to Havoc) and the only injury he had received in battle were a few bumps and cuts on his legs, arms and torso. That didn't explain the loss of speech at all!

But perhaps this was something alchemy couldn't explain, something not even science could explain. Roy had always thought those that had broken down and cried out for men to shoot at something that wasn't there, men who furiously scrubbed their hands raw to remove blood that didn't exist, men who laughed when they just escaped death and men that couldn't see real life anymore were weak, pathetic for letting their mind take control of them. Now he didn't know what to feel, because he like those men mentioned, had fallen prey to his own mind as well. He kept seeing himself holding a gun, aimed at two doctors who didn't deserve the punishment he was ordered to give, in the background he would tell the figure to not shoot, just turn away and ignore the orders, they didn't know shit. But every single time, he shot them dead. Piece by piece, it was like shooting a small part of himself, slowly but surely losing himself further to his mind.

He chuckled darkly; of course war wouldn't bring him down. He was Roy Mustang! Nothing could bring him down, nothing but himself. That's just what had happened. Never before had Roy felt the need to cry at the hopelessness of the situation or the dread of being labelled a freak. Mustang had never cried in front of anyone before in his life, except his mother when he was just a child. Those days were over; however, his mother had been killed by a rogue alchemist on the loose, leaving Roy alone. Luckily, his mother's friend, the Hawkeyes took care of him and even taught him alchemy. Roy dreaded to meet Riza in this place; he wasn't sure how she would take his appearance right now, when she had never before even seen Roy cry or look sorry for himself. He stopped that the moment he studied alchemy.

In the background, Edward seemed a little... _concerned. _It wasn't normal to hear someone chuckle darkly to themselves, at least not like Roy just had. Ed felt bad for what he said; he hadn't meant to hit a soft spot. _But the bastard deserved it! _He wanted to apologise. _But he was being a jerk! Why should I? _Caught in a dilemma inside his head, an even bigger one then usual, Ed simply did nothing about it and moved on. He didn't do apologising if he wasn't sure if they deserved it or not.

"At least you don't see a white person following you and grinning all the time, awake and asleep." Well, it was _sort of _apologising. It was good enough for Fullmetal. The soldier looked up, having been disturbed from his thoughts, but he understood what the younger soldier was trying to tell him. _You're not alone. _It was true, there were about another ten state alchemists at least that he knew of that had been caught by shell shock. It didn't seem like a lot, but taking into account that there were only seventy or so State Alchemists in existence, it seemed like quite a bit.

The Colonel seemed to be smirking, amused at how Ed had described his 'condition' to him. It was always good to see that there was a way to look positively at the situation even if said situation seemed completely helpless. Mustang made a twirling motion, with difficulty thanks to the stocks, beside his head.

Edward laughed. "That's us, a bunch of loony alchemists." Then he grew more serious. "Be glad you haven't got a voice, don't have to deal with more screaming at night." For some inexplicable reason, Ed felt like he should at least owe the Colonel some warning of what was to come. Perhaps it was because Mustang, even without knowing it, had given Edward the inspiration to investigate alchemy, more so then to just make their mother smile. Since their father had been deemed killed in the war, their mother only really ever faked a smile for her boys, a real smile only appearing when alchemy was practised by the both of them. Edward never forgot it, he owed Mustang more then just a warning, he also owed him a life. Without the Colonel, even if he wasn't there, it brought Ed the courage to continue studying alchemy, even if the real reason for studying it in the first place was gone, killed, murdered. It kept his second half alive, his other reason for living. He'd have to repay Roy better then that, even if the guy was a complete bastard.

Colonel's eyes widened but then he mentally facepalmed. Of course, they were in the loony bin after all. Even in the camps out in the desert, the occasional yell was heard, waking half the camp from their sleep, thinking an enemy was upon them. The soldiers that did scream never lasted much longer at camp, either taken to other labs to recover or killed in battle. Mustang still remembered warning Maes of this fact. His words, when he could speak clearly, "Don't go flaunting pictures of your girlfriend about, those that talk about love in a war never come back." Of course, the idiot continued on, telling Roy to 'lighten up', like he could! They were shot at almost nightly, with the occasional alchemy attack when one took the chance to attack and break down their defences. It was going to be worse where he was right now, because those men were only on their way to breaking down, these men have already fallen.

But Flame was also confused, why should Fullmetal care if he was unprepared?

Seeing that expression, Edward answered, "I'm doing it for my own reasons, you're still a bastard and you're a big pain in the arse but I owe you for my own reasons, so shut up and deal with it." Ed offered no room for argument, but he was puzzled to see Roy laughing. "What're you laughing at, Colonel Bastard?"

Said Colonel Bastard only answered with a smirk, raised eyebrows and seemed to try to look flattered. Ed was confused for a while, before he realised Mustang was completely unbothered at all at being called a bastard, it was almost as if he laughed at the name, _Is that honestly the best you can come up with?_

Ed huffed, much like half the child he was, and probably always will be, both sulking and glad that the Colonel could at least take a joke and put up with his ways. "Bastard." Mustang laughed again, completely unaffected. Ed found himself smiling too. Perhaps this guy wasn't such a jerk after all. _Well, he is still a jerk, just not a jerk jerk... a jerk, but not a complete jerk. _This was going to be interesting for the alchemist, _finally something more entertaining then books. _

...

_His hand was shaking, the gun weighed much heavier then he would've thought a gun would. Was he really holding a gun? It was shaped like one; it was rare he used one, however. He had his gloves, why would he need a gun? _

_Looking up, he saw the doctors, the Rockbells. They were hugging each other tightly, as if letting go would result in their demise. What was he doing? The Rockbells were on their side, why was he here? Why was he aiming the gun at them!_

"_Colonel Mustang, I order you to execute the criminals." Roy turned his head to see General Raven(3), standing as tall as ever, high ranking as ever, with a cold look in his eye, daring Roy to disobey. What? Kill them? Mustang glanced back at the two doctors, the kind doctors that once healed his wounds caught in a blast he barely missed, thanks to the mustang he rode upon, the mustang was even luckier then him. But why? Why would the State feel the need to kill two innocent doctors who do nothing but cure the sick?_

"_Mustang, why are you hesitating?" He wanted to ask the General for the reason. Why was he going to shoot them? What crime have they committed? As far as the Colonel could tell, they were innocent, so why was he forced into this? They even saved him, for fuck sakes! He couldn't kill those that helped him, healed him and gave him water when he was sure to be swallowing sand for the next week or so!_

"_Roy Mustang, I order you to execute the criminals, now!" What was he to do? His mouth wasn't working, neither were his arms, fingers, legs. He wanted to run, but he was rooted on the spot. _Don't do it, don't pull the trigger, whatever you do. _The two doctors clung tighter together; the male doctor looked Roy in the eyes._

"_Roy, just do it, we knew what we were getting ourselves into when we cured the Ishballens." He was telling Roy, but he just couldn't take it in. "Just do it, but tell Winry we love her to the bottom of her hearts. Tell her, we're sorry." Even if he couldn't take the words in, he found himself nodding, very slight, but it was there. He licked his lips, tasting the salt of his sweat -he was sweating?- against his lips, the gun shook harder as he held onto it tighter still._

_The next thing he knew, two gunshots rang out, the pair of doctors were now on the floor, clearly dead, smoke was coming from his own gun and it was still, scarily still, like a lizard, no mammal could sit that still, surely!_

_A hand clasp his shoulder, but he barely noticed. He barely noticed the "That wasn't so hard, now was it, Mustang?" But he took notice of the General's leave. Minutes passed, the Colonel remained standing exactly where he had for the past few moments, standing still as a tree, but then it started. His gun shook violently, his head moved down, forcing him to look down at what he didn't even remember doing, but he knew he had done it. The evidence was there, he held the gun, it was smoking mere moments ago, two doctors were on the floor, dead, and two bullet casings were beside them, bathing in their blood. Mustang caught sight of his hand holding the gun, there was blood on that too, the Rockbells' blood. Eyes widened as wide as they possibly could, a look of pure terror upon his face before he gasped, almost silently, and dropped his gun abruptly. He backed away slowly, his hands as far away from his body as possible, but his palms facing his face as if they were going to grab his head, or neck, at any moment._

_These were the hands of a killer, a merciless killer. He just killed two innocent beings, something he swore he would never do. How could he continue fighting for his country if he just killed someone from that country in cold blood? This isn't what he signed up for! It wasn't supposed to be this way! Terrified, but needing to know, his left hand, currently gloveless, came to his face, running down it and pulling back to view it. What he saw would forever be in his mind, no matter how much he would try to forget it. _The Rockbells' blood was on his face.

_As soon as that sentence finished in his mind, he turned away from the scene and vomited violently. It took him several minutes before he could regain his posture. Even so, he still felt dizzy, not quite there but still clinging on to consciousness as well as reality. He spat out the remaining taste of vomit from his mouth, before deciding he couldn't stay there, he just _couldn't. _He left, as casually as he could in his current state of mind, not wanting to attract attention away to the desert. He just needed to get away, to think, to recover, to _not break down. _He couldn't, he was Mustang, Roy Mustang. You can't tame a Mustang, not now, not ever and nobody could nor ever will! _

_It took a while, but the Flame Alchemist found a desolate area to be alone at, to think without interruptions. He assessed the situation he was currently stuck with. Well, since it was an order and a threat of being court marshalled, there was no trouble of going through court because of... the shooting. He remembered what Mr Rockbell had asked. Tell his daughter he was sorry and that they loved her very much. Why, oh why was Roy given that job? He was barely hanging on as it was._

"_Yo, Roy boy!" Now Roy was near snarling, he didn't have time to deal with someone else right now! Couldn't they see he was barely hanging on! He was going to lose it, very _very _soon. "Roy?" That was Maes, Mustang would recognise that voice anywhere, and Maes was worried. But Roy refused to turn. He couldn't let his best friend see him like this, even if he wasn't crying, he could just feel him shaking. He had no idea when the shaking had started, but it was clear it wasn't going to give anytime soon. _

_Now Maes was worried, it wasn't like Roy was merely vibrating; he was shaking, real shaking, almost like he was having a fit whilst standing. "Mustang!" He knew Roy reacted easier to the authority voice, and it certainly gained a reaction from Roy. It was a flinch, but Maes now knew that Roy was listening. "Roy, are you ok?" He started walking towards the Colonel, he knew something happened to his friend, but he wasn't sure what._

"_Stop." It was barely audible, but Maes just caught it._

"_Roy?" Maes didn't stop, but he moved to his friend slowly, carefully. Roy looked like he was just holding on, struggling but fighting, stubbornly holding on to his sanity with all the strength he had. _

_But he was snapping. "Don't come any closer!" The sudden snap caught Maes off guard. _Jesus, what had happened to him? _Roy covered his face with his right arm, his gloved hand and bent forward slightly as if it could help conceal him. "Don't look at me!" If Maes saw... _God _if Hughes saw how _hard _it was. Nobody had ever seen him in that state, he was always viewed as unbreakable, unbeatable, he couldn't let anyone see that, nobody! _

"_Roy!" Maes was right next to him now, even with the distance that was between them, Maes could _feel _Roy shaking violently, trying to keep it together. "Keep it together!"_

_That got through to Mustang, but barely. "I'm trying, damnit!" The Colonel lowered his arm but brought it close to his side, his fists clenched hard. He was looking down, refusing to turn around or let Maes see his face, the face that still had blood on it. He hadn't thought to wash his face and he cursed himself for not thinking of cleaning his face earlier. That probably caught the attention of a lot of soldiers, so he really hadn't kept the composure he really wanted to be shown. He really couldn't deal with this!_

"_Roy, just take deep breaths." Maes was being careful, he knew his friend was having a hard time and needed to be approached carefully. He'd seen it before; he wasn't into the investigations team for the hell of it. Roy took his advice, taking deep breaths, before trying to calmly exhale, but even that seemed a job. "Roy boy, what happened? I've never seen you so worked up!" He tried to keep the surprise out of his voice, but this was Roy he was talking to, _Roy.

_Mustang took another deep breath, it wasn't really working. He could feel vomit trying to crawl up his throat as he remembered visions of what had transpired mere moments ago. The gun in his hand, doctors in front of him, the blood, the smoke, the self hatred. It felt like that moment took hours to happen, not a few minutes._

_Roy, with a slight hitch in his voice he tried to hide but failed, tried to explain. "I've... I took orders... I didn't want to, it wasn't right, but I still did."_

"_Roy, slowly." Maes gave the distraught soldier a few moments to collect himself, before he tried again. "Say slowly, what happened?" _

_He took a deep breath, before he got it out. "The Rockbells, those two doctors, they were helping some rogue alchemists. State wasn't happy, ordered them shot dead..." He left Maes to figure the rest out._

"_You mean..." Maes didn't finish, he just knew the way Roy tensed that what he had said was true. Now he understood, he knew his friend joined the military to help people, so having to execute someone he believed were innocent, it made you doubt it, doubt yourself, doubt everything you thought of. It took time and patience for Roy to get to the position he was currently in and to suddenly go against what you were determined to prevent happen... Hughes couldn't imagine how his best friend must've been feeling. "Roy, I'm sorry."_

_That was the biggest mistake Maes could've done. Mustang was furious, he didn't need pity. How dare he be viewed as something delicate! Nothing could rattle him, he was fine, he would shake this off, he always did._

"_I don't need your pity, just forget it happened."_

_Maes was staggered, he almost flinched at the pure coldness of Roy's tone. "Roy, you're not thinking straight, you're shaking like a leaf!" Shaking like a leaf Roy was, deny it as he may, but it was true._

"_I'm perfectly fine; I've got to go on patrol right now." Mustang wasn't going to waste any time with Hughes' pity and quickly walked forward, still not letting Maes see his face, his blood covered face._

_Maes wasn't going to let it go so easily, he never would. "Roy, wait a minute, you need help, you're in shock." Mustang ignored him, continuing his stride away from Hughes, anything to get away from pity. Maes wasn't going to let it drop. "Roy!" Hughes grabbed the Colonel's arm, another big mistake on his part. Startled, a flashback of a gun aimed at his face and frightened, Mustang quickly lashed out. His right arm went out quickly, the one Maes had forgotten about, his fist slamming into Hughes' face, the sound of his glasses breaking filled the air as well as startled gasps of soldiers watching. Roy, still fearing his life was in danger, brought his fingers together, ready to snap his enemy into ash. But he stopped, froze with his fingers ready to snap at any moment. Something told him not to do it, some voice in the back, but all he could see was someone aiming a gun at him. Why wasn't he finishing him off?_

_A few moments passed in silence, nobody daring to do anything to agitate the Flame Alchemist. They knew, if the Flame Alchemist was to snap his fingers, Maes would be injured, badly. The only sound was the sound of gunfire in the background and Roy's and Maes' heavy breathing. But, slowly but surely, Roy's eyes came back to reality, slowly widening in realization. He started at his fingers before dropping them abruptly. He couldn't believe it, he was about to set his best friend on fire! How could... how could such a thing happen! He took a step back, opened his mouth to apologise to his friend, but found he couldn't. _He couldn't.

_Maes, still on the floor, a nose bleed and a hand holding his nose to stop it, looked up in confusion at his friend. "Roy?"_

With a loud gasp, Roy Mustang woke up. He knew he was sweating, he was shaking and he had a headache. He grabbed his head to aid his aching head, slow to regain his bearings, before he remembered what had happened. That nightmare was a memory; of course it wasn't going to leave him alone for quite some time. It was going to constantly stalk him, waiting until each and every night; it'll appear and take him.

"Hey." Mustang heard a quiet voice, looking up; he caught sight of a half alert Edward Elric. "Ok there? You looked like you were having a tough time." Roy managed to catch his breathing and nodded, even if it was a blatant and obvious lie. Ed shrugged. "Better get used to it, more comin'. We all get it." He then turned in his bed, away from the Colonel and seemed to quickly get comfortable to go to sleep.

Roy was left to his own thoughts. He wasn't so sure he'd like to go back to sleep to see the images of him nearly killing Maes. Curling up, he allowed himself the time to silently sob, since nobody would ever see, nobody would hear and nobody would ever care.

* * *

Don't you want to hug him? Go, hug him. Not to death, for Lord Almighty's sake! D: I need him ALIVE.

So, keep in mind, this is my first time, please be nice in your reviews, constructive criticism is encouraged, flames are not. Roy will tame you flames 8D and eat you. Rawr.  
~Blackie

(1) I am aware this is spelt a number of ways, I'm going with Resembool, just because it sounds right.

(2) Not sure if this is Ishballens or Ishvallens, even the MANGA changes it's mind. Again, I'm sticking to this.

(3) I'm aware it probably ISN'T Raven that makes Roy do this, but I'm too lazy to look for the name of the General that really would make Roy do what he did. Deal with it.


	2. Diagnosis

Wow, this is a quick update for me, usually it takes me months to update again lmfao

I had a review earlier that said apparently my style of writing had "extraneous words" that apparently confused the sentence and that I needed a beta reader. Um, I want to clarify that here;

**I will not be getting a beta reader, I am my own beta reader and my readers, if they have a problem, are free to point out any mistakes or typos that they spot in this chapter.  
The style of writing also will not change, it is like this because this is how, apparently, people wrote in the 1920s, they did use extraneous words to describe what was happening, they had to, it was the world war era and most in the 1920s actually wrote poetry, so as you can imagine, they didn't just point it out, they gave out long descriptions.**

Remember, if anything confuses you, then you are free to ask, but I am not going to change my style of writing just to make it easier for you to understand, sorry dudes.

There isn't much else to say but that I'm currently obsessed with the game Prototype right now. ANY PLAYERS OF IT HERE? ANYBODY? You're missing out ;D

Warnings: homophobic descriptions though minimal, sexual tension, horny Ed (so says Lanny-Sama rofl) and sexy Roy. Maybe a bit of arseholishness. British and German words.

**FIND A TYPO YOU GET A BRITISH BISCUIT.**

* * *

Diagnosis

"Hey, Alphonse?"

"Yes, brother?" Alphonse was sceptical. His brother, strangely enough having ranted and raved for hours upon hours in their last phone call about being sent to the loonie bin, seemed quite… _what was the right word? _Alphonse wasn't sure, but Edward had something clearly that was keeping him… not as rant-y, he supposed.

The room they currently occupied wasn't a bad one, a private room just for the two of them without some guards hanging over their head like they were in prison. It drove Ed to the point of bursting a vein in his forehead; silently of course, it would be rather worrying for those guards should it have become obvious, but he never burst and it never burst. The private room wasn't bad, more like what used to be an office, kept reasonably clean, though a few cobwebs surrounded the upper corners.

His brother was now currently smirking, his mischievous kind of smirk and not the evil one. He knew that whatever his brother was going to say next was probably not as pleasant on his head as he hoped.

"Guess who I saw yesterday." Alphonse blinked. That was not what he expected. He blinked, but Ed's smirk of naughty thoughts was still there, _so obvious he hasn't said what he really wants to say. _He hoped it wouldn't take most of the time they had, unfortunately, they had to be shortened on the time they were allowed to spend together, they didn't explain why.

Alphonse anticipated the answer. "Who did you see, brother?"

That's when Edward's smirk widened tenfold. "Remember the famous state alchemist I went on about?"

Alphonse thought for a moment. "The Iron Blood?"

Edward scowled. "Fuck no."

"Crimson?"

Ed scowled even more. "Got him as my superior, right prat he is."

Alphonse chuckled. "Only with you, brother." Then a thought came to him. "The Flame Alchemist?"

If anything, Ed positively grinned, a signal of trouble to come. "Yep. He's here, right here in the loony bin."

Alphonse grew excited at this, they had both heard the great stories about the Flame Alchemist, how he could blow up an entire building block with the simple snap of his fingers. His techniques were unrivalled. Then Alphonse frowned, Ed had told him that Colonel Roy Mustang was here, that meant something was wrong with him.

"I can introduce you; did you want to meet him, Al?" Ed smiled at his brother. "You always said you wanted to see him, maybe he can help you with the state alchemy exam too, if you ask."

That brought a smile back on Alphonse's face. "Yeah, sure, that'd be nice. Can we…?" He didn't want to trouble his brother to go looking for the man now, but he really did want to meet the person that had gained such a frightening reputation within the military.

"Sure! We can visit him now if you want. I've just gotta ask the guards, nosey buggers they are and all." Ed was truly grinning now. Alphonse really had to wonder what was on his brothers' mind. He paid no mind as Edward went up to knock on the door and a guard to open the door to see the problem. "Hey, my little brother wants to see that Roy Mustang guy, know where he's at?"

The guard opened the door wider, having just stuck his head out at first, but seeing he needed to give Ed more attention. "I'm sorry sir, he's currently being given a tour but you can see him in another hour, I can ask Dr Yealland to bring him here, if you want?"

Edward turned to his brother for an answer. "Oh, yes please, I'd really like to meet him and maybe ask for some help for my state alchemy exam." The guard seemed pleased with that and closed the door. Edward, with a slight huff, walked back over to his chair and sat down. Then he hunched down slightly. Coughing slightly, he took the glove off his left hand and covered his mouth. He looked almost like he was about to vomit, but instead he gagged heavily, chocked slightly and removed his hand, which came back with a bit of blood. Grumbling, he grabbed a tissue he kept in his military jacket, which much to his annoyance and rage, he was forced to keep on, and cleaned up the blood. Satisfied, he replaced the glove back on his hand before it felt naked.

Alphonse sighed. "Brother, have you been taking care of yourself?"

Edward knew what Al meant. "Yes, Al, I have. It just happens sometimes, that's all!" he sighed; he knew his brother meant well, but it got on his nerves. Changing the subject, he began again, "Ya know, Mustang seems like just a bit of a jerk."

Alphonse blinked, he knew his brother was dodging the subject, but he didn't feel like going on about it, so he played along. "Is it because-"

"Alphonse! Don't go there." Calling Edward short was signing for your death wish, even if you weren't ready.

Al chuckled. "Ok brother, what were you meant to say?"

Ed got ready, him being gay was no secret to his brother, and just like he hoped, his brother accepted it. Alphonse often made a fuss about when Ed went to talk about it, but he didn't mind really, most of the time anyway. Edward wasn't a virgin, by any means, his old partner, Russell Tringham, had taught him quite a bit into surviving into a homophobic world. Russell was the only one so far to be able to survive the wrath of Edward (dubbed as such by Alphonse) and in getting such a reaction meant rougher times at night. Despite Ed's rough nature, he found himself mostly a bottomer, there was no reason, he just preferred it. He had topped once and instantly preferred being bottom. (1)

"The Mustang guy looks pretty hot." Ed smirked as he watched his brother squirm slightly, clearly uncomfortable. As if to divert his attention from where Edward was headed, Alphonse turned to read his book and write notes. Luckily, the guards allowed him a pen, but Edward wasn't allowed to touch it. "I might just move on him, what do you think, Al?"

Al looked at his older brother. "Are you sure you should be asking your younger brother about your sex life?"

"Aren't brothers meant to help each other like this?" Ed whined, really, he just had to get it off his chest, otherwise he'd implode.

"But I'm not really into all the things you are, brother, I can't really help because I don't really understand." When Edward blinked, Alphonse felt the need to elaborate. "I don't really want to know what you do in your sex life." Al felt the need to wave a hand about, as if it helped Edward get the point. It did.

"I suppose, but Al, military and doctors here are homophobes, how can I bang him when we're being watched by vultures everywhere?"

"Ed, please." Al covered his head, his poor innocent mind not wanting to comprehend the meaning of those words.

"But Al," Ed whined. "I haven't had sex since I got this automail, that's over two years ago! I'm starving!" Of more then one thing, Al added in his mind.

"Brother, I thought you didn't care what they thought, you always said, 'when an Elric wants something, the Elric gets something'." Alphonse quoted the time when Ed first decided to join the military as a state alchemist, oblivious almost to how hard the test really would be. It wasn't until he found a 'teacher' of sorts that he realised just how hard his goal was. Izumi really didn't approve of State Alchemists at all, but it was Ed's dream to quench the hatred of alchemy, having known that alchemy was now used as weapons for war, though it was always told that it was to defend their country and nothing more. It was true now, using alchemy against the terrorists residing in Ishbal, but Amestris had been a victim of many battles and wars over the years, it probably didn't help that it was rumoured to other countries that Amestris was preparing itself to engage in taking over lands, which has never been proven, and it stood stuck between many countries, ganged up. (2)

"Well," Edward started, thinking over his words carefully. "Yeah, usually, but if I get caught, this is worse than that time I stole wurst (3) from teacher when her back was turned." Alphonse chuckled slightly at the memory, Ed had just about pissed his pants when Izumi Curtis caught him stealing some wurst when he was meant to skip dinner as a punishment for doing so badly in that particular class. He never did it again. "Seriously though, he seems interested, I saw him checking me out," Ed smirked as he continued. "Besides, no strings makes it easier. Less messy."

Before Alphonse could reply, the radio crackled, then came to life. "Good afternoon Amestris from Volksempfänger (4). Today, the Fuhrer sends a speech of encouragement to his people and country and to the whole of the military keeping the country herself and her people safe and those fighting to gain Ishbal back and recover her from the hands of criminals. A week today, it would mark the third year of the battle for Ishbal, three years of fighting against the criminals and three years the county has suffered from the hands of these criminals and of seeing our military friends fall."

"Now here to give his praises live to the military and for his people, Fuhrer Bradley."

There was slight static, then silence before finally, the speech began.

"Today marks a special day for us all, to the whole of Amestris, a day of remembrance. For three years, Ishbal has been taken hostage, and three years it has been since the military, with all their courage and love for their people, took arms to fight back against the monstrosity and save the people of Ishbal. Times have been grim, taxes rising, a civil war and many other bumps in the road our country has been tasked of driving over, but still we stand today. Tall, proud, strong."

"Our country has been through so much, with Drachma residing to the north, Xing towards the east and Aerugo to the west, we face attacks on all sides and in those times of war, we always stood proud. We fought against them and we protect our country, by any means necessary. Never before, have we faced a civil war as grave as this one, but we are Amestrians. We have fought back against the Drachmans and kept the Xingese back from spying, and we will save our country from being ruled by criminals. For my country and for my people, I solemnly swear to keep this country standing and I will do everything in my power to keep this country safe and remain a happy place to live."

"Today marks a really special day to those working in the military, who for three years did this country justice. Fighting against the enemy takes skill, precision and courage, and I am deeply grateful for their services. And I raise applause for the State Alchemists, who without them, the damage made by the criminals in the war could've been far worse, the deaths far greater and our hope be quenched further into despair."

"But, the toll has been heavy and the war still fights on further. Many lives have been lost, and we mourn for their losses. Families have been broken and sons have been killed. Today, we mark this a special day to mourn for the losses of those who fought in the war, three years now, and give good luck to those who are still continuing to fight now."

Fuhrer Bradley then made it his duty to list off the names of the victims to the Ishbal war, when Edward got up to turn the radio off. He couldn't bear to hear any of the names of his friends in that list, he'd rather not know. As he sat back down, he caught the sad look from his brother, not quite pity, but sad for him nonetheless.

Edward smiled back reassuringly. "I'm fine, don't worry, brother."

Alphonse wasn't so convinced. "If you were fine, you wouldn't be here, would you?" It was no secret that some soldiers failed to get better because they didn't want to get better, getting better meant they'd be sent right back to the pits.

Edward wasn't like that, his pride wouldn't have allowed him to fake sickness (though he had tried in the days where office work was daily), but he knew whatever he had wasn't fake, wasn't normal. Even now, Edward had to struggle not to take notice of his peripheral vision.

"Of course not, Al! You know me, I mean it gets me out of fighting and the war, yeah but I'd be letting everyone else down, like right now, stuck here when I should be out there helping them, helping people!" It was a secret in the military that the Ishbals weren't actually in trouble at all, but helping the criminals, whether it was because of a direct threat or bargains, the State didn't know, but because of that, they had to kill them, their own people. Edward couldn't help but glance to the side, spotting the white figure of no gender, no species, just a white figure that talks and thinks for itself. Truth, he called himself, and Truth, he was.

"Edward?" Alphonse brought him back to looking at him and away from... that. He already knew it wasn't really there; Truth wouldn't have left the Gate unprotected, would it? Then again, what was there to protect it from? Other stupid alchemists like himself?

"I'm fine for the moment, Al, really." Ed didn't have the heart to tell Alphonse about Truth on the dry days, it was bad enough he knew about the rainy days.

"And I'll be waiting, Mr Al-che-mist." It chanted in the corner, it was so difficult to not react.

Alphonse caught the visible flinch. "Brother, are you sure?"

Edward nodded and put on a fake smile, he knew it wasn't real, that's what mattered the most.

...

The morning for Mustang had been interesting, to say the least. Luckily for him, the young blonde he'd met the night he was brought in seemed subtly kind, but put on a hard and rebelling outer aura, pride, Roy mused. He wasn't surprised, with a state name like Fullmetal, you would take the person down as a prideful, stubborn man. That's what Edward was, only he was a lot shorter then Roy thought he would be and he made a point to be noting that very fact often around Edward.

Breakfast was decent, it was much better then what they had in the trenches, or pits as they called them, but he would only refer to it as canteen food, he'd had better. He took to taking cereal for once, hoping maybe the milk would help his throat somewhat, it could've easily just dried out and need water, though he didn't feel like he needed any, and some coffee to wake him up properly. He was surprised when Edward Elric sat directly opposite to talk to him, and that he was having a full English breakfast of sorts.

Ed had to chuckle at the Colonel's reaction. "Hey, I'm only twenty, I'm still technically growing." Roy also took note that Ed had black coffee. Roy raised an eyebrow. "What?"

Sighing, he knew that being mute would be more trouble than it's worth; Roy nodded towards Edward's coffee. "Oh, it being black?" Roy nodded; glad it didn't take long for the blond to understand what he was asking. Fullmetal shrugged. "I hate milk." Well, that was a surprise. Then again, that explained the lack- "And no it's not why I'm so short, bastard."

Roy blinked, was he that easy to read now? Ed shook his head. "You were smirking like you were plotting to rape the princess or something, creepy pervert." Ah, now that explained it. Roy hadn't realised he was smirking, but he soon did as soon as Ed pointed that out. "So, know what doctor you got to help your obvious problem?" Despite him being blunt, Roy didn't take too much offense. Indeed, he knew which doctor he got, and he was uncomfortable because of the stares he got from some other doctors.

Despite that, Roy nodded and tried spelling it out on the table, letter by letter. Ed paid attention, not wanting to miss one detail out that might throw him off what Roy was spelling invisibly on the table.

"Y-E-A-L-L-A-N-D. Oh shit, really? Doctor Yealland?" At Mustang's nod, Ed felt a new pang of pity for the man. But he was a Colonel, of course he would get sent to the doctors who treated it the fastest. It worked short term, but it never lasted long for those soldiers, he had heard some had died in the treatment. "I'd be careful, that doctor has a harsh way of treating this... whatever it is." When Roy mouthed 'shell-shock' Ed just brushed it off with a wave of his hand. "Yeah, shell-shock, whatever. He has a harsh way of treating it, I'm not sure if it's true, but I heard he was using alchemy to do it."

When Roy's eyes widened, Edward shrugged. "Fuhrer Bradley just ordered the doctors to use any means necessary to find a cure for this damn thing that is stopping his soldiers fighting, or at least fighting right and at the right people." Friendly fire wasn't uncommon when it came to State Alchemists like Roy Mustang, using an area effecting alchemy, if you got in the way it was only your fault. Shell-shock only upped the chances of being caught in the crossfire.

The Colonel tilted his head and raised an eyebrow, obviously wanting to know more. Ed tried thinking hard; trying to figure out what would be safe to tell the unfortunate soldier without causing a panic attack of some kind. He'd even overheard some of the soldiers saying that the doctors were getting desperate, thinking about trying human transmutation, which was illegal. Ed hadn't believed those rumours, after all, the doctors wouldn't get away with it should they have tried.

Ed decided to just let Roy figure it out for himself. "I can't tell you, it's better if you find out for yourself." Then he took to ignoring the Colonel, at least the words, well actions, should he say, and turned to eat his breakfast. Though he did notice how the Flame Alchemist was watching his every move, studying, curious. He pretended not to notice though, a feeling of self-pride coming over him, oh so the guy was interested after all! He kept it to himself though, homos were considered heresy, so Christianity, Ishbal and even the brief Othellism stated. But Alchemy was its own religion, they followed their own laws. No creating gold, live by equivalent exchange and no human transmutation, it was simple to follow. It didn't matter who you liked, if you followed those laws you were an alchemist. Though scientists and alchemists clashed often, because their ideas just clashed together to show each other wrong, and some doctors worked in the same way. Alchemists even had their own worshipper, though not many mentioned it aloud, considering it was just too powerful for those to want to mention. That being that visited Ed in his mind at night, mostly when it rained, because it rained the day they met.

Whilst Roy Mustang himself hadn't gone as long without sex as Ed had, he wasn't oblivious to his aura. The way his hair hung, a golden shine and even those eyes were golden. Mustang never believed that being gay should be classed heresy to the outer world, though he considered himself bi liking both genders and willing to pass his time with both genders. He didn't care what others thought, though he acted like a dog, he was freer then he let on, like the mustang he should be.

Edward looked up, seeing that Mustang was still staring at him. Swallowing before asking, he opened his mouth, "What? Like what you see?" he had to grin a little when he caught the look of shock, then the face of a child with his hand caught in the biscuit (5) jar pretending to look cute, that he hadn't done it after all. "Wow, never took you as a queer."

That's when Roy frowned, waiting until Elric finished a bite of his bacon before drawing on the table with his finger to ask the question, _who said that? _

At first, Fullmetal was confused, until he got what he meant. He had frowned at the use of the word, after all. "Zolf Kimblee apparently told me it's not normal, being a queer, so that's one of the reasons I was sent here." Ed snorted, "Like you can cure a guy for liking other guys."

After that, they were pretty much subtly flirting, both knowing it was daring, but neither caring.

That was until Roy was pulled away by his doctor, Yealland. He didn't seem too bad, the average doctor with age and glasses, clearly appearing experienced. It would've fooled Roy hadn't he known that shell-shock was, so far, incurable to the majority of people. Yealland wasn't that bad a talker either; his voice keeping even quite deranged men calm. But Mustang wasn't fooled, even if he was listed as insane, he wasn't stupid. He was a very smart man indeed, he knew there were truths behind Ed's words, how the doctor acted as it was business as usual, his speeches seemed to be memorized and he was acting too casual. That's what made Flame nervous.

"My, you seem awfully uptight, my friend." Yealland had commented when they were nearing the end of the tour, Roy hadn't taken much in from it, he'd explore himself later.

Roy couldn't answer without a voice, so merely shrugged. Yealland didn't seem satisfied with this answer. "Now, Flame Alchemist, you are my patient and it is my job to make sure that you get back into the field, if there is something troubling you, you can take it up with me. Understand?" Mustang wasn't sure whether he was meaning that to be reassuring or as a warning, but he nodded anyway. Yealland smiled. "Good, well since you don't have a voice, and we can't risk you with a pen, now can we?" That felt like a punch to the chest and Roy only just managed to hold back a snarl. "Now, what we can have is you holding a pad of paper and you can use crayons. It's not comfortable, I realise that, but it's impossible to draw an acceptable transmutation circle with crayons, just to be on the safe side." As if being in the stocks during the nights were bad enough, outside was a condescending world. Never before had Roy Mustang felt so insulted. He might've been ill, but that didn't mean he couldn't understand what they were saying, or implying. It was luck that day that Yealland had left with a straight face.

That wasn't even the worst, as Roy was about to go looking for Edward, Yealland had informed him, before he disappeared, that he had a visitor. He failed to say who but directed him to the entrance to greet his visitor. He really wished he hadn't bothered turning up.

"Hey, Roy boy!" Of course it had to be Maes Hughes, stalking at camp just wasn't enough for the love drunk soldier. Roy almost audibly groaned and would've, had it been without the loss of his voice. "These docs treating you right?" he came up to Roy, putting an arm around his shoulders. Startled, Mustang wriggled out, uncomfortable to be near his best friend, heck even could be considered his ex-best friend, he really wouldn't have blamed Maes for it.

Maes was a little confused, but he figured his friend was probably suffering from self-hatred, knowing that Roy did that a lot. "Roy, really it's ok. I don't blame you for what happened." Roy just nodded, looking away, not really taking notice. Maes sighed, but knew the best way to getting a reaction out of the Mustang. Bringing out a new picture of his girlfriend, soon-to-be fiancée, Maes got right next to Roy. "Look Roy!" Shoving the picture in his face, Maes went on to explain. "Isn't she just gorgeous? You know it's a good thing I got to take you; I got to see her last night for the first time in a year! Oh you should've seen it Roy, why we made love like there was no-" Not wanting more damage to his brain then already done so, Roy pushed his friend playfully away, a slight grimace on his face, though easily fake, he was really smiling. He was glad some things stayed the same.

Roy took the time to write something on his pad. Maes noticed it was a crayon, but didn't comment. What Roy wrote was simple, but about as far a gratitude as you could get with Mustang. '_Thank you.' _Maes' smile grew twice the size seeing this. "Hey, what kind of friend would I be if I can't fit a smile on that frown?" Roy, still smiling, nodded. "So… I know that look in your eye," Mustang tried to look startled, but a smirk was fighting its way to the surface. "I know you, Roy Mustang, you found your next 'target', per say?"

Flame frowned slightly at the description but shook his head, turning the page on his pad and writing on a clean one in red crayon. '_So-so, but I met the Fullmetal Alchemist.' _Maes whistled lowly. "Wow, the Fullmetal guy? I didn't know he was gay." Mustang nodded, a smirk appearing on his face now. "Well, good luck, heard the guy was really stubborn." The Colonel chuckled; oh he was much more than that.

"Hey, Roy." Surprise appeared in Roy's eyes for a moment, before it disappeared and remained vacant. Maes nodded his head for Roy to follow, which Roy did so. Rules were that patients were allowed to go anywhere they wanted, so long they returned for curfew, which was 11pm, and so long they were escorted or kept within the publics' eyes at all times. They also had to wear their uniform and the badge that they were all provided, screaming out that they were abnormal. This wasn't an issue for now, as Maes had parked his car only just down the pathway from Lab 5, through the gates. Opening the door, Maes brought out what looked like a picnic basket. Confused, Mustang blinked several times before tapping his friend's shoulder twice. Maes turned around, handing the basket to Mustang.

"Here, Gracia made this for you, from both of us. Consider it a get well soon present." Roy wasn't sure what to make of it; he wasn't used to such luxuries from his friends, what little he could consider friends. He felt like he didn't deserve it, but it would be rude to hand it back simply because you didn't think you deserved it. Mustang allowed himself to smile slightly, grateful, for his best friend and his girlfriend. He nodded his thanks to his best friend, grateful he had someone on the outside he could really count on.

"Oh! Before I forget, guess who's just been made head of the Investigations Department." By the way he pointed it out, Maes was really bragging to everyone about this. "Yep! Head of Investigations and I am now a Lieutenant Colonel, just one step under you now." Roy wasn't completely sure why his friend seemed so happy with that result. "Roy boy! Do I have to spell it out? It means I get pulled out of the war, I have to stay in Central now, so Gracia proposed that I go live with her, isn't that just fantastic!" _Oh yeah, brilliant. _Really, Roy was happy for his friend, but the constant being told of things would get on his nerves very quickly.

"Oh, one last thing." Maes then leaned towards Roy's ear. "I'm thinking of proposing sometime soon, you don't think it's too soon, do you?" Mustang had to grimace; the thought of marriage just didn't suit right to him. Alchemists didn't have a law against it, but most never did; alchemy was their first love so Roy never saw a point in trying to settle down if he would always choose alchemy over their partner. Maes sighed "Now, I know your opinion, but I'm not an alchemist and I really love her, I know she's the one! Please Roy?" Roy really would've groaned and called the man a sap for this, maybe blown up his car for dragging him into this total love driven objective. But he couldn't do either, so he just settled on agreeing, he had nothing better to do but recover after all.

If Maes could giggle and run through a field of daisies, he really would, as he hugged Roy quickly and tightly. Uncomfortable, the Colonel wriggled out of Hughes' grip, he still felt that deep feeling of guilt for what he did to his best friend, _fuck how can he still be touching me, even coming here when I almost burned him alive?_

Hughes was quick to apologise, "Oh, sorry Roy boy! I just got this big tingling feeling in my chest I forgot." He coughed, not wanting to elaborate further and possibly send the already distressed man into a further depression cycle. "So I'll meet you here again tomorrow? Then we can get an engagement ring! It has to be perfect for my dear little Gracie." _Oh give me a break, _if Roy could puke without feeling completely deplorable afterwards, he would, but it wasn't worth it.

"Hey, Mustang!" Hearing another voice, Roy turned hearing his name. He was more than surprised to see Edward Elric heading his way, along with who looked like his big brother. Ed wasted no time in standing to the side of Mustang and gesturing to his brother. "Hey Colonel, meet my little brother, Alphonse Elric." Now Roy really blinked. _Little _brother?

Mustang wrote this to ask if he was joking, but he got the response he wasn't, but should've, expected. Ed fumed. "Yes _little_ brother! You don't judge by appearances! _I'm _the bigger brother!"

Alphonse sighed. "Brother, really, I thought you'd be used to it by now."

Edward looked disbelievingly at his younger brother. "You're supposed to be on my side, Al!" Roy snickered; he had to have some sort of entertainment without losing his marbles. Well, losing even more than he already had, at least.

Maes felt it was his time to take leave. "I'll leave you with your new friends, Roy boy. They seem… interesting," Alphonse grabbed Ed's mouth to prevent him shouting some sort of insult or demand of what he meant by that, "I'll see you tomorrow, don't bail out on me!" With a final pat on the shoulder, Maes turned, got into the car and left.

Of course, Ed would've taken the time to snicker, but something didn't sit well with him about that Maes character. He was awfully free going for a soldier, his uniform told him all he needed to know, and the fact he seemed awfully close to Roy. Edward was all up for competition, but seeing he was classed as insane, which brought the many thoughts of killing stupid people he came into contact with and getting away with it almost, he wasn't so sure he had the advantage. It brought questions, he knew Roy swung both ways, hadn't settled like most alchemists and he seemed to like Maes a lot too. _Really, did they, or didn't they? _

Ever the blunt one, Ed didn't pass this time to ask. "He one of your play toys?"

Roy thanked the Gate he wasn't drinking anything, otherwise he might've choked on it and had it coming out of his nose, near suffocating him like the words that came out should've done. Him… and Maes! Hughes was as far from being a gay man as could be possible. Almost desperately, Roy wrote; _Of course not, he's my best friend asking for my help to buy him an engagement ring, midget._

Ed read it for a moment, before bursting. "Who're you calling a miniature house pest!"

Roy shook his head; _I don't even need to try, you do a good job yourself with it._

Fullmetal looked about ready to punch the guy in the face, when Alphonse intervened quickly.

"Excuse me, Mr Flame Alchemist, sir!" Hearing Alphonse talk directly to him for the first time, Mustang faced Al. "Um, I read about you whilst studying for the State Alchemy exam. I was just wondering… if you could show me a bit of your flame alchemy, or at least the mechanism of it."

The Colonel seemed slightly surprised by the question, so he wanted to join the military as well, it seemed. Roy didn't seem any harm in showing the younger brother his alchemy, though he couldn't give a live demonstration without being probably pinned down by paranoid doctors and soldiers. So he nodded, with a slight smile that he could manage.

"Oh, thank you Mr Flame Alchemist sir!" Alphonse looked like a child on Christmas day.

Roy began writing on the pad; _Just call me Roy Mustang, or just Roy for that matter. _

Alphonse read before he nodded with a bright smile. "Right, thank you Roy Mustang, sir!" turning to give his brother a short hug, he picked up his bag. "Thanks for the help again, brother. I can't believe I get to study with the real Flame Alchemist!" he was silently high fiving the sky, but then smirked slightly, turning back to Mustang. "Oh yeah, by the way, brother thought you were a great alchemist too, he wouldn't shut up about you being able to blow buildings with just a click of your fingers."

"ALPHONSE!" It wasn't often that Al went out of his way to embarrass his brother like this, so it was no surprise that Edward was blushing quite visibly.

Alphonse chuckled at his brother's reaction, whilst Roy took those words in. _So, he saw me as an idol, did he? Well, maybe I can give him something else to remember me by. _He didn't even bother hiding his sly smirk, why bother to hide it? Alphonse took his leave with a final farewell, walking home as he had to luxury to be staying somewhere close to the lab.

Edward didn't like Roy's smirk at all. "What're you smirking at, pervert?"

Roy's smirk didn't let down at all, if anything, it grew. _So, I was "awesome", was I?_

Ed spluttered before crossing his arms in a childish manner. "Of course, until I met you in person, then I realised you were a complete jerk." He jumped slightly feeling a slight slap on his backside. He retaliated by turning to face Roy and pointing a glove covered metal finger at the raven haired (6) Colonel "A perverted jerk at that!"

Roy shrugged, writing again; _you stated kindly that we were both "queers", so you really didn't and wouldn't mind at all, now would you?_

The young Major wasn't going to just settle on that. "That doesn't mean I'll tolerate your perverted ways!" Mustang's answer was to look down, then back at Elric's face. Confused, Ed looked down, only to be slightly mortified to see his penis trying to gain attention. He was quick to recover. "That's just a natural reaction! I haven't had sex in two years, so of course I'm gonna get horny when a hot guy is just standing there looking completely sexy and slap my arse! That just further proves my theory of you being a creepy pervert!"

The only thing Roy really took notice of was the most useful, to him of course. He stood taller, a hand to his hip and flicked his hair as if to just ask "so, you think I'm sexy?" If his smirk could grow any bigger, he'd probably rip his face slightly, which sounded too painful to really think about.

Edward spluttered once again, his face bright red having caught his mistake. "Stop twisting my words, wanker (7)!" Although he did actually want to ride the Mustang, he wanted the Colonel to work for it. He wasn't desperate enough yet to beg or just go along so easily. He was Edward Elric and he wasn't going to be the one to back down without a fight. Let Mustang work on getting some sex, it would be all the more enjoyable for him in the end. Of course, Ed wasn't interested in just the slow and safe, he wanted hard, he wanted rough, danger and just to feel the excitement again. Being left in a trench for a few months did that to him, he had to move, but he was forced to remain still, driving him to insanity. He only hoped Mustang didn't wait, because he was dying for at least some excitement.

Lucky for him, the Colonel seemed to catch on as he wrote clearly, before turning to leave with a sway of his hips, furthering Ed's frustration; _Just wait, Elric, I can tell you want me and I'm not going to go down until you give in. __And I don't lose._

…

As it was nearing evening, Roy decided to grab some dinner before considering reading a book. He mightn't seem the type, but Roy did love to read books, especially the erotic ones. He wasn't so sure this place would have any of the sorts, but anything beat being bored or listening to the screams at night, sometimes it got to the point of being unbearable.

But luck really wasn't on his side as he caught sight of Yealland heading towards him. Instantly he grew tense and on the defensive. His previous meeting with Yealland was one he wanted to forget, the doctor just treated him like a machine, a car per say, just fix the damn thing, get it out into the fight and move on. Roy didn't appreciate being treated like that, he might've acted a dog to some extent, but he wouldn't bow down to those that really didn't matter.

"Flame Alchemist." Yealland, ever the professional, called out with a bite of authority in his voice. Now Roy wanted to just dig his grave and be buried already. Every State Alchemist in the canteen halted their talking and walking and stared at the scene, at Roy specifically. Everyone knew the Flame Alchemist, these were all State Alchemists who had studied in the alchemists around now, plus Roy had rather a reputation to being dangerous, incredibly intelligent for his age and to being the youngest Colonel in a long time in the military. Because of that, he was known far and wide.

To be called out like that, in a place like this, by _that _particular doctor infuriated Roy beyond belief. In his rage he became defiant, rebelling against the doctors' orders. How dare he call him out like he was above him, how dare he have the nerve to embarrass him in front of his comrades, even if he didn't know them, they all fought in the same battle for the same reasons.

"Flame Alchemist, come." Just like a master calling for his dog. Roy sneered but didn't turn to look at Yealland, how dare he think this dog will take orders from the likes of _him! _"Flame Alchemist, don't make me tell you again." This time, Roy turned to look at Yealland, his black eyes growing hard into a glare of utter repulsion and defiance. It was clear to Yealland that the Flame Alchemist valued his pride a lot higher than most and what he was doing right now was making the alchemist livid.

Ever bold, or insane, depending on ones' interpretation, Roy shook his head slowly, before turning to face away. This angered Yealland, never before had he had such a troublesome patient. Yealland liked to have power, like most in the military, but he loved to see those that fought in war having to depend on him, it gave him the sense of power, something only God could do, to cure such conditions like Roy had himself. He was not going to let Roy Mustang ruin what he had achieved so far in agreeing to help the soldiers.

"Roy Mustang, you will come with me, or I will be forced to ask for security." Yealland smirked internally as he saw Roy's back tense, with discomfort or fury, the doctor couldn't tell. When Roy turned his head, he got his answer. Mustang was absolutely livid, teeth clearly gritting into a snarl. It was a sight to behold and to be wary of. Clearly, he wasn't going to move a muscle. Sighing, the doctor turned to leave.

Roy thought he had gotten away with it and mentally gave himself a pat on the back, until his head was pushed forward onto the table, just missing his dinner. He felt a stabbing pain in his scalp of someone holding the hairs too close to the scalp and he gritted his teeth in pain.

"I warned you, Flame Alchemist. Now please, carefully gentlemen, can you escort Roy Mustang to my room, if you please?" Mustang really wanted to kick this guy where the sun never shines, but he felt helpless without his gloves, he never needed hand to hand combat, so he was rusty in the arts. Still, he tried fighting anyway. Determined not to leave, Roy twisted and pulled, trying to not hurt his scalp further, to get out of the soldiers' grip. Another soldier came to aid, having spotted the patient struggling and wasted no time in trying to push him down.

Getting agitated, one of the soldiers lifted a knee to Roy's chest, winding him and rendering him useless to fight back. Quickly, the soldiers hoisted Roy to his feet, he had fallen to his knees as he struggled to gain his breath back, and dragged him towards the room Yealland had been curing his patients. Mustang continued to glare at the doctor, oh one of these days he would get his revenge in some way and form, he noted to himself and promised the doctor in his head. Oh, how he will pay for trying to tame the Mustang.

* * *

Yealland sounds like a right arsehole, doesn't he? Well, not all doctors are kind and neither are they all bastards either. Yealland is really protrayed like this in Regeneration, honest! xD

Feel for Mustang, he needs your love.

Why do some authors insist on having themselves have a conversation with Roy or Ed or some character from some show in here and make them totally OOC? *shrugs* I don't see the point, really xD

Review please! Thank you! Or in Wales, Diolch yn fawr iawn! ;3  
~Blackie

Footnotes~ (there are a lot of them)

(1) For those curious, I have asked a German friend of mine and he said it was legal to have sex there when you are fourteen, FOURTEEN. Reason why it seems like Edward has had sex more then your average kid.

(2) This is the reason A.J.P Taylor, an historian studying the Second World War, gave for Hitler attacking and calling for War against England and France. I think Amestris would do the same, surrounded as it is just like Germany, surrounded on all sides.

(3) Wurst - German for "sausage", I just prefer the German word as aposed to the English British word. Is American English even the same word used for sausages? Because I hear you have something called a chili dog? *blink*

(4) Full credit to my German friend, he informed me that this was the Nazi term for the radio, so used it to be the radio station name.

(5) Biscuit - British English for "cookie", I find it more believable for them to learn British English during this time then American English, since America wasn't really around Europe all that much, I don't think anyway. At least they weren't in the Second World War, plus they were fighting against the British more then the Americans, to my knowledge.

(6) He will remain raven haired, I saw some people call him brunette, HE IS NOT BRUNETTE, brunette is BROWN. Please, get your colours right.

(7) Wanker - UM LOL British word for a person who masterbates a lot, also used as an insult to a person to point out that they cannot get a girlfriend and therefore are pathetic, in a way.


	3. Trial and Error

This took way longer then it should've done. *sigh* Sorry for the wait guys, but I had two courseworks that were due in last week and it was hecktic because they were 3,000 and 4,000 words long. Which is a LOT for work you don't much care about lmfao ALSO you can blame these following items for me not working on my writing as I should've done: World of Warcraft, Desktop Dungeon, homework, exams are coming soon, driving lessons AND my xbox. I have such a meaningless life LOL

Soooo I can't help but notice the HUGE increase in OC's being used in stories and people being unable to spell to save their lives. Um, if you can't spell to save your life, why did you bother? And why don't you have spellchecker if you know this? Is fanfiction going into an apocalyptic state like music and tv shows! Justin Beiber, Rebecca Black and then this whole Big Brother, So You Think You Can Dance and other rubbish. I DO NOT WANT MY FAVOURITE SITE TO BE TAKEN OVER BY MORONS PLEASE. Music and tv shows has already gone, don't let reading go too! I haven't been able to find a decent fic in weeks, looks like I need to update faster to save fanfiction from the noobism that is spreading!

Anyway that over with, there is a little extra for you at the end if you wish to read about what ELSE I have been doing over the three months. (Oh God, I took three months to update, I'm going to hell to meet daddy Satan.)

Did I also mention Word has the grammatical capacity of a pirate? It's bloody hopeless, my DOG could do better grammar than that piece of crap. Anyway, enjoy!

**Warnings: Yaoism (ha that sounds so dumb), mentions of homophobia, hallucinations that some readers may find disturbing (oh sod you pussies =P) and some others that I forget lol**

* * *

Trial and Error

"Yeah, I can tell you what we did. We sat around, drank coffee and did fuck all."

An aggravated sigh. "Fullmet-"

"Would you quit calling me that? I have a name and it's Edward, or just Ed."

"Ok, Ed, why don't you tell me about alchemy."

Edward raised his eyebrows, really not sure how this had anything to do with what the doctor was meant to be doing. Tim Marcoh was feeling just as lost about how to deal with this particularly difficult patient. Edward refused to talk about anything relating to his past any further than him joining the military, he just told that they were private and it would remain that way. It really didn't help Marcoh's case.

"What has alchemy got to do with anything?"

"Well, I'm an alchemist too, I used my alchemy to heal people physically, but I was suited to help people emotionally as well."

"You're saying this is something that's caused because of us?"

Tim sighed. "No, I don't think it's the person, I think it's the war, how the war is being fought."

Edward was confused. "How is it any different?"

But Marcoh refused to answer. "Doesn't matter, we're here to talk about you."

Ed let an aggravated groan escape him, but he didn't comment. "We've already established what's wrong with me, I scream when there's a lightning storm, I see a white figure in the corner of my eyes from time to time and randomly and I vomit blood. Am I missing anything?"

"Your sarcastic tone leaves much to be concerned about if you're not taking this seriously."

Ed punched the table, suddenly beyond irritated. "I didn't ask to become fucking labelled a freak! You think I faked this to get out like all the other pacifist pussies?"

Marcoh had to smile slightly. "No, I don't believe so. The Fullmetal I heard about on the battlefield would rather a pike through his heart then be seen as weak." Edward calmed down slightly hearing that, but he huffed and crossed his arms like the hidden child he was. "So, would you like to tell me what happened to bring this on?"

"Not particularly." Tim had to groan at Ed's answer, he really wasn't helping his job of healing this soldier. _But really, _he thought, _what would be the point? To throw him back into the war that caused this? He'd just be kicked right back in here, back to square one. _

"Well, what do you want to talk about?"

Edward raised an eyebrow. "Aren't you meant to know? You're the doctor."

"Well, I've tried but you don't seem to be comfortable talking at all."

Fullmetal huffed. "It's personal." When the doctor only nodded in answer, he knew he'd only get out of here if he at least coughed something up. "Right, the main reason I'm here is Kimblee didn't want me to go around and spread my gayness to the camp and make them gay too and get nothing done with all the gayness around."

Marcoh really wasn't sure what to do with that bit of information. "I'm sorry but being homosexual isn't an illness at all, so it can't be cured."

Edward made a 'huzzah' like move. "Finally, we got someone with fucking sense!" Marcoh continued to show his look of puzzlement for a few moments, before Edward sighs. "Basically, I could've been court-martialled, but a friend of mine got on my case and got me out and sent me here, told the military about my nightmares, even though that doesn't really mean I've got shell-shock at al-" Edward cut off when he saw movement out of his peripherals. Turning his head slightly, he caught sight of the Truth, staring back at him. It didn't seem merciless this time, it seemed curious, honestly curious. How strange.

He didn't hear the doctor calling his name several times, until Truth pointed it out.

"The doctor is asking you something, Mr Al-che-mist." Then its morbid grin was back, or what appeared to be a grin. Ed shivered before he turned to Marcoh.

"Huh?" It didn't prove of Ed's 205 IQ, at all.

Marcoh frowned. "Are you ok?"

"Huh?" It took several shakes of his head for his thoughts to be returned to normal. "Oh, yeah, I'm fine."

Tim wasn't convinced. He noticed how Fullmetal shifted his gaze towards the far left wall, as if he was wary of something, something that would pounce on him very soon. Marcoh was tempted to turn, but he knew what Fullmetal was seeing.

"Is he there again?"

Edward looked down, though he didn't want to admit it, he nodded.

"What is he saying, or doing?" That was the thing, Edward wasn't sure. It wasn't really doing anything. It was sitting there, staring at him with a grin on its face as if it knew something he didn't.

"Um… undermining me?" It was a guess, an educated guess, but that was the best that Edward could come up with.

Dr Marcoh made a note of this, if that was how Ed had viewed whatever he saw, then clearly he was suffering from a guilty conscience, or he believed he wasn't good enough for something, trying desperately to achieve a goal only to fail. Is this what Fullmetal considered a failure?

"Are you certain?"

Fullmetal glanced at the unwanted guest in the corner, a black aura of sorts, like a really black shadow outlining his form, demanding attention, still with the same smile on its face, but no eyes, never has any eyes, yet all knowing, knowing everything, always knowing_ everything. _

He blinked, then Truth was gone, as always. That's what upset Ed the most, the fact that he looked _so real, _then he just blinks and he's gone. It unnerved him, he could easily argue that he was in the nuthouse known as Lab Five because he was labelled ill, when in fact he just preferred cock over vagina, but it was much harder when it was clear to him and the only fair doctor that Ed had so far met that didn't treat the ill alchemists like they were incompetent, like children. Ed had stopped being a child when he saved Alphonse's life. Alchemy was all about equivalent exchange, and they always said that the truth hurts. How ironic, how funny, how _accurate _that statement really was.

"Edward?" The voice of Dr Marcoh brought him back. Lifting his head, he looked at Marcoh indifferently.

"He's gone." Tim Marcoh knew what he meant, he had guessed the moment the young man's head looked away and he could feel the tension leave the air. The Fullmetal Alchemist really needed help, urgently. But Tim Marcoh didn't know what to do. Nightmares and hallucinations like Fullmetal had were uncommon and those that did have it were either driven insane, taken before the court for murder followed by execution if he was unlucky or driven to suicide.

_At least he has his brother, but I'm not sure if his brother would be able to help much either. _Dr Marcoh sighed. He'd prefer a crossword to dealing with this cockup.

There was a knock on the door startling both doctor and patient, though the doctor shouted for the person to enter. It was another doctor, a more recent one, Dr Pitt. (4) That's when Edward acted more like himself then he had in a long while.

"PITT! The fuck are you doing here?"

Pitt blinked, then recognition came. "Edward Elric? Oh man! Ed what're you doing here?" Bringing out his hand to shake Ed's he took notice of Edward's automail. "You should watch where you step, and you still haven't grown."

Edward brought the full on glare that would make even the ghosts of ghosts flee in terror, but not Pitt, that prat had little common sense when it came to figuring the 'Elric Aura'.

"Fuck off, wanker."

"Your language hasn't improved very much."

"Why don't you go fuck yourself?"

"I'd have assumed you'd at least _try _to learn some new words."

"Now you're taking the piss."

Pitt shook his head, smiling. "You _really _haven't changed."

Edward stood, defiant. "I so have! I've figured I'm gay at least." He watched Pitt's shocked face but tsk'd, flopping his hand downwards, as if to further prove of his 'gayness' as he always liked to refer to it as. "Don't worry I'm not a whore."

Pitt blinked. "I never said you were."

Edward shrugged. "Most people instantly think that when it comes to homosexuals, it's getting annoying now."

"Being honest, I kind of guessed that you would be rather fancying those of the same gender."

Edward snapped a look at Pitt. "You what!"

"Edward, it's a bit obvious, I mean-"

"You dare say I'm female at all and I'll-"

"You know I'll beat you, I'm taller then-"

"You arrogant little prick, I oughta-!"

"Do you two mind keeping quiet?" Tim Marcoh rubbed his forehead, feeling a headache coming on. Well, at least Fullmetal was acting more like himself. "Dr Pitt, was there a reason for you coming here?"

Pitt shook his head, coming back into action. "Ah yes! I was just walking past when I spotted Dr Yealland taking that Flame Alchemist away."

Ed spun to look at Marcoh, then turned back to Pitt again. "What about Mustang?" Pitt didn't answer, which irritated the small volatile blond to no end. Growling, he grabbed hold of Pitt's shirt with his human hand. "What about Mustang! Tell me, damnit!"

Pitt was used to this, Edward was even violent during his younger years, when he was in high school before he left to become an apprentice alchemist after his mother's death, taking Alphonse with him, or more like Alphonse followed him. He was curious, infinitely so, as to why Edward seemed to care about this Roy Mustang character. Sure, he was a fellow alchemist, but Edward seemed to hardly notice Tim Marcoh, who was also an alchemist. What made Mustang so special?

_Oh, _now Pitt felt dumb, _of course, Mustang is a magnet for girls and gays alike._

Putting his hands up slightly to calm the reasonably pissed off man, Pitt cleared his throat. "I wasn't sure, since I didn't ask, but given the direction they were going in…"

Ed's eyes widened, hoping he was wrong, but he was very rarely wrong. It was one of these times that he hated being always right.

"Where? Going where?"

Pitt didn't want to answer, but for the sake of his life, he decided to. "The electric room."

Edward let go of Pitt and ran out the room before anyone could so much as stand to go after him.

"Edward Elric!" Ed ignored his doctor's cry, engorged in just one mission in his mind. Help Roy Mustang and get him out of Yealland's grasp before it was too late. If it wasn't already.

…

If Roy had his gloves, he'd be having the biggest barbeque in years. He never fancied himself as a cannibal, but maybe if he cooked the bastards nice and thick, maybe he could hand them to his dog. His invisible dog, mind you. Or maybe give them purgatory (1), a real life purgatory, to burn away all that bad. But he was sure if he tried, the doctor would die, because there was just so much bad there. Though he was an alchemist, he could at least use this as an excuse, or maybe tell them he was a complete nut and was therefore not accountable to his actions. _What idiots, how we shell-shocked could use this to our advantage, we could kill people and get away with it._

That is, if he wasn't currently tied to a chair, ready to be 'treated'. He tried fighting, but those guards were strong, like Alex Louise Armstrong strong (maybe he was exaggerating there, but it damn felt like it). He didn't have any chalk either, and his hand could barely move. His mouth was forced open by some weird contraption, Roy didn't care to know what it was called or what it did, he just wanted out.

"Right, so this patient has been rather… disobedient, for the past few moments." Yealland was talking, Roy wasn't sure who to. _Maybe to himself, as nutty as the nutters. _"Strapping him down is necessary, but once this is over, he'll be talking again and I'm _certain _he'll thank us for it."

_Bastard, I'll thank you like a dog thanks those who kick him about. _Mustang was pissed, that was putting it lightly. He was visibly calm, if you ignored his eyes, his ever seeing eyes, sharp, black and glinting with intent.

"So, since we know him as the Flame Alchemist, perhaps we should try a fag to the tongue."(2) _A what! _Roy wasn't sure if he was serious, but when he saw Yealland grab a lighted cigarette and make his way towards him, Mustang knew he was being serious. Next time, he would listen to the pipsqueak, this was worse then he described. In protest, Roy tried pulling away, but his head wasn't strong enough, being held by machines, whatever those alien things were, and his mouth was kept open, unable to close, not being allowed to. It was like watching the Grim Reaper coming for him, Roy kicked his legs, which were being held also though not as tightly, but it was no use, it was useless, just like him at that moment.

Useless. Useless. Useless.

Then the fag touched down. It hurt a lot more then Roy was expecting. Now he knew how his victims felt. _No, this was just a portion of what they felt. _Whilst his victims burned in the pits of hell, a very real hell, Roy was left as the Devil's advocate, in a way, spreading the beauty of flames that Satan called his home, his pillow, his lifeline. He could call himself the son of Satan himself and he wouldn't deny it, he would just remain silent. _Havoc, why in hell would you smoke these all day! _It really did taste like shit, like the smell of the corpses he delivered to Satan himself.

Then Yealland pulled it away, but the pain still lingered. He could _feel _the fires flare, spreading across his now dry tongue. Quickly, in a panic, he knew best that flames were as untameable as himself, he withdrew his tongue in his mouth, quickly wetting it, letting his saliva heal the wound. Though it stung, it did the trick, difficult as it was with a mouth forced to remain open. The taste still lingered, not going away. He really needed water. Or rum, vodka, beer, gin, tonic, anything!

"Now, repeat after me. Start with A." Yealland wasn't seriously getting him to say the alphabet, was he? Roy opened his eyes, he was proud of himself for letting no tears escape his eyes, though it took a while to blink the blurriness away. There was no way Roy was going to take this guy serious, the bastard had even the nerve to lock the door, lock himself in with the patient. The guy's ego was as big as Mustang's had been before all this shit; it was time someone cut it down to size. So Roy merely glared at the doctor in defiance.

"Still defying your superior?" _Superior? _The Flame Alchemist was never going to bow down to this guy who treated him like nothing but dirt, nothing but a dog. Mustang would've growled if he could. Yealland sighed, like Roy was rather a troublesome pest he'd rather not deal with. "I'm trying to cure you, and yet you show no appreciation." Of course he didn't, he'd rather not deal with being hurt by mere theories that probably aren't even correct. "Let us try the more effective treatment." Yealland turned away to grab a pair of gloves, by the looks of the material, the very same that Roy uses for his flame alchemy to make a spark, with the insignia for a spark and more than enough evidence from Fullmetal's talk to know what it meant. (3) Roy's instincts flared up, telling him to get away, the look on Yealland's face was not standing well with them. His face was of… satisfaction. He was getting satisfaction from this, the sadist that the doctor was. Roy never wanted a real life term for mad doctor, or witch doctor.

Frightened, for the first time since Ishbal, even in Ishbal, he had never felt so cornered, so vulnerable, so useless, ne'er before had he had this problem, he always had his gloves, a gun, even his fists to fight with, despite how crap he was at it. Now, he had nothing, nothing but his eyes, which sadly the tales of laser eyes and burning people with a simple glare were not true.

Closer and closer the Reaper came, revelling on the obvious look of fright Roy had. Roy was wrong; there were people worse than him out there posed as good people, worse than Kimblee, worse than Archer, maybe even worse than their own Fuhrer, who was corrupt enough as it was. He couldn't even scream if he wanted to, he very much felt like he would despite his inability to.

It hurt, more then he thought it would've. His hands fisted tightly, his head jerked a few times, his tongue as well more than anything else. He was sure he could even see smoke. He could taste nothing; he couldn't stop himself from his seizure, he couldn't call for help, push him away, bite down, run away, he couldn't do anything but endure the mundane shock treatment. Ne'er before had he thought he'd be subjected to it.

It was all over in a couple of seconds, though it felt an eternity for Roy, eternity of being punished for those sins he caused, the lives he killed, the doctors he executed, his _friends. _They were his friends and he shot them in cold blood. Mustang wouldn't be complaining, he knew he deserved this, and possibly so much more, but from this person? This wasn't Gate's messenger, this wasn't Gate's servant, he was much too sadistic for that. Gate was emotionless, he came to find and believed, to put up with equivalent exchanged, you'd have to be neutral, no taking sides, that meant no emotions, not human.

Roy Mustang was not going to take it from a person below him.

Waiting until Yealland turned his back, Roy began to scratch out an alchemy circle on the chair arm, the chair made out of wood to prevent others from getting shocked by the electricity, he could just about move his fingers to use his nails to cut into the weak wood. He took moments to look at Yealland, then turn back to his circle, a tiny thing but enough to break the restraint on the leather straps, leather was quite flammable compared to other things. Yealland was speaking, so he strained to hear him.

"Right, I'll give you a ten minute rest; don't want one of our top State Alchemists to become too injured." Yealland began sorting some other equipment out, keeping his gloves on at all times. Roy smirked, or would've if it wasn't for the mechanical things keeping his mouth open still. Then he covered the transmutation circle quickly as Yealland turned around. He glared with his best effort, putting all that bent up hatred, evil intent to see if he could make the doctor burn standing right there. But alas, Satan didn't love Roy _that _much. Figures.

The doctor did something unexpected, instead of what Roy thought was to gloat in his face; instead Yealland took the mouth piece off and allowed him to rest his mouth. Well, it made sense; the military must've paid a lot to give himself the best possible treatment to get him sent back into the battlefield. He grimaced as he felt a bit of drool leave his lips, he didn't miss the way Yealland sniggered either. That bastard will most definitely be meeting Satan really soon.

Yealland turned away again soon afterwards and Mustang, taking the chance, went to finish the alchemical circle. With a blue flash, the straps holding Mustang to the chair burned, breaking in less than the two seconds it took for Yealland to notice something was wrong. By then, it was already too late.

In a flash, Mustang was upon him, a strong hand wrapped around his neck, though Roy had to ignore the slight pain of splinters in his finger for creating the transmutation circle, seconds away from possibly killing the man with nobody else in the room. And the door was locked. The tables were turned and there was nothing Yealland could do about it, as Roy quickly disposed of his gloves by throwing them in the filled sink, rendering them useless. He made a mistake of showing his omnipotence, after all, all those that claimed to be so fell within a year of saying it. Yealland had lasted seven months.

And Mustang? He was smirking, but it held a darker tone, a tone of promise, of revenge, vengeance and, worse of all, enjoyment. He was _enjoying _it. Nobody could say Yealland wouldn't deserve it, who would care? He'd be doing the world a favour, he was mad, he didn't know what he was doing, he couldn't he held accountable, it wasn't his fault, wasn't, wasn't! What's one more life? Could it be useful? No, no, he can't hesitate to kill him, hesitance was cowardice. He had to hurry, hurry, quickly, hastily, promptly. Kill him before he kills. Before it's too late!

All those thoughts running through his mind in an angry panic, he was furious, he was frightened, he was malicious, he was benevolent. All he could hear in his mind were the gunshots, the cries for help, shouts of pain, hearing his own voice; "Quickly break down the barrier, every man for himself!" He could even hear the sand, the wind, but always those words in the back of his head. Equivalent Exchange. Always, always equivalent.

The loud sound of a knock at the door broke him from his minute long thought cycle.

"Mustang! Mustang, open the door!" It took a while for Roy to decipher the voice, to understand what it was saying and who was saying it. But when he did, his grip tightened around Yealland's throat, not enough for him to choke, but enough for a clear warning of what he was capable of. He wanted to answer the door, to get out of this living nightmare he clearly wasn't in control of, but he couldn't let him escape, the worst thing he could do was turn his back on his enemy.

"Bastard, open this door right now!" Edward sounded angry, yet urgent. He needed urgent attention, that's what Mustang's instincts told him. But he was stuck, he was holding this prisoner, this criminal, he couldn't very well let him go! It never crossed Mustang's mind on how Edward had managed to find him, nor run there, by the sounds of his heavy breathing, when his arms were held in stocks. The conflict still running through his mind, what he thought was real; Roy didn't react, keeping his eyes all on his prisoner.

He didn't even hear the bang of the young Elric kicking the door open with his automail leg. The door lock hadn't stood a chance, even as it was silently begging for Roy to wake from his real life nightmare he was reliving, petrified, too much so, to ask for mercy from the blond warrior with his eyes set on getting through, no matter the cost.

Behind the door, Fullmetal got a shock. This wasn't what he expected, though inwardly he probably hoped it in his dreams, the reality was, not so often now, more frightening. It wasn't the fact that Roy Mustang was holding Yealland up by his neck against a wall, not strangling him but dangerously close to doing so, no, it was his eyes. Roy's eyes. They were seeing far away, not seeing what Fullmetal himself was seeing. That's probably what scared the little alchemist the most, the fact that someone of Mustang's calibre was even losing control of his own mind, kindled with the fact that it was his mind that kept all that knowledge on alchemy, what the symbols mean, what it does, how to use it.

"Mr Edward Elric!" Ed ignored hearing Tim Marcoh behind him, finally catching up with the fast agile alchemist. Marcoh was getting too old for this. "Now that you've finally stopped, care to tell me the meaning of-" Marcoh cut off when he noticed inside the room, Yealland was pulling against the Flame Alchemist's arm, trying desperately to get some air into his lungs. The Flame Alchemists didn't seem to be with the world, outside in a real nightmare from the past and Tim wasn't really sure of his negotiation skills with a mad man. No, not a mad man, a troubled man.

But Ed, ever the risky, wasn't going to let the nightmares take a companion away. They were all companions in Lab Five, all with the same disease yet it acted differently depending on the person. Besides, it was only Yealland if he did fail, nobody would really care about him.

"Hey, Colonel?" Ed called out in a normal voice, walking slowly, but surely, towards the pair. Dr Marcoh reached out a hand, whispering "no, Fullmetal, don't!" but it was already too late, Fullmetal was out of his reach.

Colonel Roy Mustang didn't appear to have heard, or even acknowledged their presence yet, still stuck between nightmare and reality, not that either were worse than the other. "Colonel? Hey! Colonel Mustang!"

Mustang seemed to have heard him that time, because he turned his head, looking directly at Fullmetal and immediately reacted defensively. He took Yealland in a headlock, taking hold of what appeared to be the device Yealland used to keep patient's mouth open. Completely harmless in the way Roy was trying to use it, but it was still risky. Mustang didn't see a device; he saw a gun, or a knife, something worth being scared and tentative about.

"Stay back!" Mustang didn't just speak, he _yelled, _for the first time since his stay, Roy's voice was working! This made sense to Edward, though he wasn't expecting it, his mind was stuck in the past, before he lost his voice, his mind was confused, so Roy was able to talk for a limited amount of time, he wasn't sure how long that was going to last. "I'm warning you, I will shoot!"

Roy had to yell over the gun fire to make sure the rebel heard. The rebel was relatively short, that shocked Mustang, maybe a child? He couldn't kill a child, no matter the charges, he couldn't! But the rebel wasn't listening; he was getting closer, walking closer to help his companion, the companion that tried to kill the famed Flame Alchemist! He hoped his hand wasn't shaking, he was terrified more of this child than any other rebel he'd encountered. Because he wouldn't, couldn't, kill a child.

"Colonel Mustang!" He only just heard it, over the sandstorm that brew, the gunshots that were firing in the village not far away, he heard the call of that child rebel. The sandstorm made it almost impossible to see the rebel, save his size as a silhouette becoming clearer in the sandstorm that brew. Then he could spot red, a red coat of some sorts. Didn't the rebels wear desert like clothing? Who would wear a coat in this heat? And golden hair? When did rebels have golden hair?

Roy wasn't so sure it was a rebel now, he had to check. "State your name! And rank!"

He only just caught a sigh. What gave this kid a right to sigh in the middle of a war? Who did he think he was, prancing around the desert with no fear at all, just confidence, when people were _dying _here?

"Fine, if it wakes your lazy arse." _What? _"Major Edward Elric. The Fullmetal Alchemist." Hadn't he heard that name before? Edward Elric… Edward… Elric… Ed!

"Edward?"

But as he said that, the sandstorm grew, so much he was blinded. In shock, he dropped his captive and the gun, he was too caught unawares to really take notice of his captive getting to his feet and running for the wilderness that used to be there, but just wasn't anymore. He fell to his knees, holding an arm out to protect his eyes, closing them. He could just about hear a cry.

"Mustang! Hey, bastard, what's wrong?" How could they see through this? It was almost impossible to see, Mustang didn't want to risk an eye infection, especially when he needed them so badly for his alchemy.

"How can you see a thing, Fullmetal!"

"What are you going on about?" Edward sounded confused. Why would he be? Can't he hear, _see, _the sandstorm, the gunshots? Roy didn't want to risk opening his eyes.

"The sandstorm, damnit! I can't see a thing!"

"There's no sandstorm, Roy. Open your eyes." But he could _hear _it, _feel _it!

"I can't, it's still there, I know it is!"

"You're bloody hopeless, you know that?" Mustang growled, but he still refused to open his eyes to endure neither the howling wind of the sand nor the horrible sight of blood and loss caused by the guns of war. "I heard from the papers you were a right man whore, then I hear the whole fame business goes around, 'oh the Flame Alchemist he's great and gets rid of those rebellious bastards' and look at you now, stuck on the floor after a shock treatment. Shame you didn't knock the guy who zapped you into wherever you are out. You couldn't even manage that, you lazy wanker."

Roy Mustang did grab for the boy, in the general direction he heard the voice anyway, instinctively. How dare the little bastard say that! He knew he grabbed hold of the boy when he heard him gasp in surprise.

"Why you, what gives you the right to patronize me? What have you got that could possibly compare to what I've done, what I've gone through, the things I've seen, _major?_" There was a bite of venom in his voice, for the first time, able to speak –speak!- his concerns out loud, of what happened, the things stuck inside his troubled mind keeping it shut on lock down security even from himself. "There are some things the papers don't put out, anything good you've done, anything horrific you've been through, always, always, always putting out the horrible things you've done to make you look like a criminal. I know I'm not a criminal, I was following orders like everyone else, how does that make me bad?"

"You're not bad, Roy, neither of us are. We were all doing what we were ordered to do; it's none of our faults, despite what the papers say. The other doctors might say it's our faults, we're weak but we're not!"

"We must be. People like Kimblee, Archer, some others… they're not like us, they're ok. Why aren't we?"

"Bad people don't get hurt by seeing others die, Roy. That's why they're ok, because they _don't care._" That one sentence made sense. Roy wanted a reason; he wanted to know why he got it. All the soldiers who got it suddenly refused to fight, were stuck not moving, even if you tried to force them. How did he become like them? Now he knew, because he _cared. _How was it the bad always got off scot free? It just wasn't fair. "Because you got this shows you're a good person, Roy."

"Damned fool, this isn't something we should be proud of!"

"I know, but secretly we're all relieved there are so many good in the military. Sad to see them fall, but glad to distinguish." Edward then sighed. "Now, will you open your eyes already?"

Roy didn't want to, but he felt like he should. As he did, he saw Ed's eyes locking onto his own. There was no sandstorm; in fact, there wasn't any sand at all. He slowly remembered, he was being shocked, he panicked and… oh, he attacked Yealland. More, he just hoped nobody noticed. Of course, he wasn't going to apologise, at least he won't mean it, but this was troubling for him if the military found out, or his superiors.

"Finally, why couldn't you just open them in the first place?"

Roy glared, ready to retort, when he almost physically felt his vocal cords tighten, closing up. _Oh, no, no, no! _He touched his throat, maybe he imagined it? He went to try to insult the boy_, shrimp, _or something that sounded as good, but no sound escaped. He was mute once again.

Ed was confused, but then he understood. "Oh, voice gone into hiding again?"

He didn't like how the major put it, but there was no other effective answer to that, so Mustang just nodded. It was true, after all, he was able to speak briefly, but he seemed to have lost his voice again. At least that's one way of bringing it back, and not a very good one either. Though having amnesia was tempting.

"Can I just say that your voice, whilst it lasted, was _damn sexy?"_Really now? Mustang should've been surprised, but he really wasn't. The boy was twenty odd; of course sex would be at the top of the list of things to be concerned about. It did give Roy an ego boost… not that he really needed it.

Roy smirked flirtatiously, bending down closer to Ed's face, it was meant to be flirting anyway, but considering the major's height and his sensitivity to that being known. Well.

"Waitaminute, ARE YOU SAYING I'M SHORT? AGAIN?"

Cue for breaking the atmosphere, and bruising Roy's ego right back again. Bloody hell.

"Fullmetal and Flame." _Oh, that has a nice ring to it, _Roy's mind just couldn't help but think that, but he threw it into the cupboard for later, or a wardrobe into some unknown elven world or some nonsense, just away from here. _Wait, my name should be first! I'm higher rank! _Came shortly afterwards, also later thrown into the wardrobe of elveness, or oblivion not wanting anyone to know of his still lingering childishness. Last he needed was his subordinates ridiculing him with _that_ material.

"Oh can't you just piss off already?" Elric wasn't amused; in fact, he was still red in the face for misinterpreting what Roy had been meaning to say.

"I'm afraid not, Elric." Tim Marcoh had to smile. At least Edward was acting like his usual, brash and unrespectable soldier of the military. "But I think we can call it a day for the both of you, you must be very tired." Then Tim sighed. "You might need it, I'm afraid I have to inform the military of what Mustang has done."

There went Roy's idea of hiding it from the military. He was going to get into shit for this, he just knew it. He didn't usually care, but he was in a bad enough position already, last thing he needed was the tip of the iceberg.

"Hey, what about that Yealland doctor?" Edward was even less amused now than before. "He shouldn't be able to get away with this!"

"I'll see to it that Yealland has a medical leave. I'm sure he'll be a bit traumatized by the events of today."

"I'll put him in medical leave alright, for a broken face!" Then the alchemist put up his arms. "And when the fuck do I get these off? I'm not a fucking criminal already!"

Marcoh sighed, then brought out a key. "Alright, I'll let you off them, but promise that you won't use alchemy unless strictly necessary?"

"What the hell is-!"

"Promise?"

"Yes! Fine! Whatever, just get these off!" The click of the stocks coming off was probably the most beautiful thing Edward had heard all day. He threw his fist in the air in celebration, then proceeded to hug Colonel Mustang, something the Colonel wasn't prepared for as he fell over back into the chair. "Finally! Now I can fully molest this bastard like I intend to." There was no doubting this boy's courage, or his ignorance.

"Fullmetal! Time and a place."

Edward Elric turned his golden glare on Marcoh. "Then leave already! Privacy!"

"Fullmetal, we need this room, the military might need it for evidence for-"

"They can come tomorrow, I'm busy so leave!"

Dr Marcoh didn't argue that time; it was no use talking sense into a horny alchemist anyway. Roy didn't seem to be complaining either; he just looked perplexed that Edward was ordering for this _now _of all times. Still, Mustang could take care of himself. With that noted, Marcoh nodded, muttering a "very well, but keep it down," before he slipped out the door, hearing Edward later locking the door close behind him.

Guess he should make that call now.

…

Hughes was tempted to, for the first time in a while, to throw the phone aside. This wasn't the first time he thought of skipping work, though that was when he was out in the field, not snug in Central with his lovely girlfriend. He had only recently confirmed with his base of operations that his home phone would be his girlfriend's house, since he was going to be living with her, and hopefully marrying her. He didn't think he'd get a phone call so early in staying with his girlfriend. It was his day off today as well, what could the phone call possibly be?

"Maes, honey?" Gracia, dear lovely Gracia, ever kind, knew that Maes was frustrated with having a phone call so early, but knew it had to be important if there was one.

"I'm hoping it's nothing serious." He was actually trying to have a nice relaxing lunch with his wife, a late comfortable lunch after a long night of lovemaking; they hadn't actually gone out of bed until eleven am anyway.

"You should just check, just in case." Gracia touched Maes' hand, reassuring him that it was ok to answer the phone, she didn't mind, since it must've been serious.

Hughes smiled at his girlfriend, before picking up the phone. "Lieutenant Colonel Hughes."

"_Ah, Lieutenant Colonel Hughes, this is Dr Tim Marcoh from Lab Five. I'm calling about your friend, Colonel Roy Mustang."_

Hughes' eyes shot up, he wasn't expecting this call. At least, not that soon.

"Roy, is he alright?"

There was a slight sigh from the other side, a tired one. _"Roy Mustang is fine, at least he will be. He had a bit of a scare with a treatment Dr Yealland tried."_

"Treatment?"

"_Shock treatment."_

Hughes was beyond furious, how could this be accepted? They weren't criminals, it was bad enough he caught a few in stocks! "How is that accepted? How can he get away with that?"

"_The government requested we give full access to almost any method that works, apparently Yealland's method works. Not in Mustang's case."_

"What happened?"

"_Yealland was working the treatment on him, I'm not completely sure what happened but he must've gotten out of the restraints and attacked Yealland. I was informed by Dr Pitt that Yealland had taken Roy Mustang for treatment. I was having a session with Edward, my methods are not nearly as morbid nor painful as Yealland's, don't worry, I don't approve of his methods either. Edward seems to be… well, quite fond of Mustang, to say the least, he rushed out to find him and that's how I found Roy looking like he was about to strangle Dr Yealland."_

Hughes was at a loss for words, moreover, he felt really sorry for his best friend. "Is Roy ok?"

"_Roy recovered. You should thank his friend Edward Elric, he was the one that managed to calm the Colonel down."_

Maes let out a sigh of relief. He knew it wasn't a mistake to trust that kid. He was young, but he was experienced, just like Roy himself. They were quite the match, quite in common with each other. "Well, can I talk to Roy? Just to see how he is."

That's when Dr Marcoh grew uncomfortable, as the phone remained silent for a minute or two. Then a reply came through. _"I'm not so sure you'll be able to. Fullmetal and Flame are… how to put it… spending time together, intimately, to put it lightly."_

That was a surprise, to say the least. He'd have thought they'd have at least kept it quiet or at least waited a bit longer. He supposed neither had had sex in a long time, or simply saw no reason to wait. He just hoped neither would get hurt for this. One night stands could change a lot of things sometimes, not that he knew, he just felt that Fullmetal and Flame really did have a good ring to it. Maybe they'd see later. "Ah, right. Can you let him know I hope he'll recover soon? Oh and I'll be bringing Gracia over next time!"

"_Of course, Maes Hughes. Is there anything else?"_

"Yes, as a matter of fact. Can you give Roy another doctor? I don't appreciate my friend being hurt in anyway, even if it helps speed up the treatment."

Tim Marcoh could understand that. It's what he intended anyway. _That sounds reasonable, I may see if my friend Dr Pitt will be able to treat Roy Mustang, he's new but I trust him."_

That was good enough for Maes Hughes, but he was definitely going to be investigating inside more on the methods the doctors were using and seeing if he could deem them banned. He knew that the Fuhrer did give full access to any method so long as it worked, but clearly shocking the patient wasn't a treatment. It was a medicine that only worked if taken periodically; otherwise they would be back to square one. "Alright, thank you doctor. I'll be over to visit tomorrow." Hughes put the phone down with a sigh.

"Maes? Is everything alright?" Gracia put a hand on her boyfriends' shoulder, seeing that his shoulder had grown tense, they still were, but not as much as previous.

Hughes turned to his love, smiling. "Yes, it is. He was just telling me about Roy boy's condition. He had a little freak episode but he's ok." He kissed Gracia once on the lips, tenderly, reminding her as he always did that he loved her and nobody else. "Gracia? Do you want to meet Roy tomorrow? I said I'd come visit him when he's better tomorrow, but he was busy with another friend he met who is also recovering. Would you mind?"

Gracia smiled, she always wanted to meet the man who was best friends with Maes Hughes, since Maes was always talking highly of Roy. She wanted to be part of his world, all of his world if she could. "I'd love to! Should I bring him some of my pie? You left some over from last time."

Maes smiled. "I'm sure he'd love it, darling. Thank you, sweetie!" Life couldn't get any better than this.

* * *

Well... I figure Mustang isn't one to take it sitting down. I felt awful, then I was feeling like the greatest person in the world! Mustang kicks arse. Yes he does. Who's grateful that Yealland got SOME punishment, or at least a scare? :D Bastard deserved it lolol

OH ALSO I have managed and attempted to write a RoyEd PWP oneshot! Well, it sort of has a plot but it's mostly porn xD I'd really appreciate it if you could read that and give me some advice on how to write my porn more effectively. It's my first PWP and I haven't much experience with this stuff so yeah xD much appreciated! Link is in my profile, just go to the bottom and scroll up. It's called Mustang Trinket. Thanks!

Review if you feel like it. I don't really care about reviews. What is that review whoring about anyway? Reviews aren't a lifeline, they're a bonus, Jesus Christ. Greed, much?  
~Blackie

Footnotes~

(1) Purgatory- In case you hadn't figured it out already, purgatory is the place catholics(I believe) believe sinners go to after they die to burn their sins away before they are granted access to heaven's gates.

(2) This is true! Doctors really DID put cigs on patient's tongue, because they believed it would give it feeling again and they would be able to talk again. I'm not sure if it ever worked, mind you.

(3) I'm aware some other authors have used this idea, but I was lacking in anything else, however, the electricity only lasts for a little while, a few seconds, so Yealland would have to keep clicking (or snapping as everyone seems to say) his fingers to get electricity.

(4) See Light Novel issue number 4, Under the Faraway Sky. We are told that Pitt was Edward's best friend and they were number one pranksters in their lives. We're never told his first (or sur)name but we are told that Pitt aspired to be JUST like Edward, always in a constant competition to be the best no matter the cost, so Pitt left soon after Edward and Alphonse did to become a doctor, which is how he is here now.


	4. Intercourse

Woo, I got this out earlier than I intended. I wasn't planning to be able to bring it up for another week, but... let's just say I pulled some strings. Leave it at that!

I've got some of the rest of this story planned out, I don't really plan it all out which is probably why it takes so long for me to update. But this could change, just FYI. I didn't plan for this bit to come out, actually some of it, but it did! There should be some answered questions in this chapter (OMFG FINALLY) or there could be more questions (FFFFFFFFUUUUUUU-) so. xD I'll leave you to read and decide!

You can tell by the title what's to come. (Pun trolol) So. I was ACTUALLY going to cut it out, because everyone has read pr0n before I'm sure. But then I remembered **WHO **is actually reading this. I could name a few authors from my reviews list and alerts who would kindly murder me for cutting out pr0n. I figured I'd just appease them. You know, old British tactic and all that. It works. Enjoy this!

**WARNING: Violence towards the end and a bit of self hatred going around.**

**Edit (02/09/2012) - Sexual content has been deleted due to fanfiction guidelines. The full version can be found on AO3 once it becomes available come end of November. Link will be on my profile!  
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Intercourse

Mustang did nothing but look perplexed towards Fullmetal sitting on his lap, already in the process of taking the damn military jacket off, the buttons were undone and he was about to slip it off, when he spotted Roy hadn't moved at all since Marcoh left. Well, that was just a _tad _humiliating.

"Um," he started and Mustang showed the first movement in about fifteen minutes. "You know you don't have to do this, right?" He didn't bother picking his jacket up, which started falling down his arms. "Just that you were staring at me a lot and you didn't complain when I hit on you so..."

Mustang shook his head but smiled, then leant forward to remove the jacket off Edward's body with his teeth. That was a clearer message than Edward had heard all day.

Currently, they were making out. Edward was naked from the bottom down, wearing nothing but the white shirt that went with the military outfit, whilst Mustang was still fully dressed, well almost, with his jacket and shirt buttons open along with his trouser zipper and his member out in the open, currently being stroked by Edward's flesh arm, whilst his automail arm was holding Roy's head hostage to his mouth.

Their tongues were fighting for dominance, though Edward knew he was going to lose anyway, when Roy winced and pulled his head out of Ed's grip in pain. Ed was confused for a moment, then he remembered the other officers telling him that a fag to the tongue was common treatment to mute soldiers.

"Oh shit, sorry! I forgot!" In his panic, he let go of both his head and member, both hands going to Roy's mouth. "Here, stick your tongue out and I'll see the damage." Roy didn't want to, but he did.

It wasn't too bad, but it looked painful. It had burnt slightly, turning a darker colour than its normal pink and had begun to blister slightly. It would be hurting like a bitch for a few more days, but there wouldn't be any permanent damage that Edward could see.

"It doesn't look too bad, but it'll hurt like a bitch for a few days. Try not to use it too much and it should be ok. It's starting to blister though." Roy sighed, tucking his tongue back safely in his mouth, but he nodded to tell him that he understood. Edward had to smile. "Look, I dunno if you want this to become more than a onetime thing, I mean at the start it was but..." Roy's eyebrows raised slightly, both surprised and asking for more of an explanation. Edward sighed. "After seeing you with that Maes guy, I kinda got pissed off a bit at him. Since I'm gonna be seeing you a lot, well, I wanna make sure of something before we do this."

Roy nodded, he had a slight idea of what the question was, but he couldn't be certain.

"So, when we do this, is it just going to be a onetime thing or are we going to... you know..." Ed hesitated then just blurted it out. "We gonna become boyfriends or something? Just, you know, Fullmetal and Flame has a ring and, whilst you're a bastard sometimes, I admit I like you. So, how about it?"

Roy could see it, but he was scared. The last person he had a real relationship without it ending quickly ended in a disaster, because of who he was.

Ed could see the struggle in the Colonel's eyes as he looked down and away. "I know, I read that you hated marriage, but can I ask why you hate it so much? Most alchemists have no problem with marriage, but you..."

Roy made a motion that he needed to write. Clearly, it was a long story. Ed didn't really want to get up, considering he was half naked bottom-wise, but he wanted an answer before they went and did something they might regret. With a nod, Ed got up and quickly reached for a pen and paper that Yealland had left behind before he had run. Strange that he hadn't sent security back, unless Marcoh had held them off.

Roy began writing and explained. It was during his training to become a State Alchemist, so he was quite old when he had his first serious relationship, nineteen or so possibly. He couldn't remember the name of the girl, but he could remember her looks. She was brunette, had lovely emerald eyes and he always liked the way she had styled her hair. She was entertaining to be with and she was quite intelligent. Roy had stayed with her for a year, had just passed his State Alchemist exam and he was so excited about passing the exam, he went right home to tell her the good news.

She didn't take it as well as he had hoped.

"So, you're leaving to work with the military?"

Roy was put off slightly at how she spat the word 'military', he could understand that some people hated it, but she had no real reason to. "I'll be where they need me to be, I have to show that alchemy has the power to help people, I need to use my gifts for something good."

"But why? You have me, don't you? Aren't I enough?"

"Yes, I do have you, but without alchemy, I'm not Roy Mustang."

"So, I'm not good enough for you."

This woman just couldn't understand. Alchemy wasn't simply a gift where you could use it anytime you wanted. Alchemy was a lifestyle, it was a religion, it was part of your world, alchemy was a part of yourself and without it, you wouldn't be the same person. She couldn't understand that alchemy would always be his first love because it was a part of him, whilst she could have a part of himself. It was all he could offer her, because he dedicated his other half to alchemy and only to alchemy.

"No, you are, truly! I love you, but I love alchemy just as much and I can't live without it, no matter what you say."

No matter the times he tried to explain to her that alchemy was like a religion, she wouldn't listen. She wanted all of Roy and he couldn't give himself completely to a woman when alchemy had been with him since birth. She screamed at him, accusing him of ludicrous things, like not loving her, not caring for her and that he was incapable of loving another person. She even slapped him and kicked him out of the house, _his own house. _Even as it was his own house, he wasn't in any condition to go back in there, not with a half broken heart.

After, he started to believe her, that he was incapable of loving anyone enough because alchemy always came first, and so alchemy became more important. He delved further into alchemy and became the famed Flame Alchemist. That was when the flings started. He was a man, but he couldn't get into a relationship because he was incapable of loving another person as much as alchemy.

"She really kicked you out of your own house?" Roy nodded. Edward couldn't understand people like that. But he could understand Roy, it was the exact reason he stayed away from Winry. Not simply because he was gay, but because Winry was the same. She wanted it all, she wouldn't settle for half, she had to have it all and Edward couldn't do that. Alchemy was his first love, much like Mustang, and if she couldn't accept the alchemy, like he knew she wouldn't, he couldn't fall in love with her, even if he was straight.

"My mechanic is like that, she tried to get me to date her." Edward explained. "But I knew her, alchemy took her parents away, she'd never be able to accept my alchemy, so I couldn't accept her in the way she wanted to. She got pissed, but she understood why. Alchemy comes first." Roy was slightly shocked, but then he smiled. So Edward could relate, he could understand. They were both alchemists, Roy had never been with another alchemist before, at least not one that was as strict as he was. Perhaps there was hope for Mustang; he could love a person as much as alchemy if that person was an alchemist, which Elric was. Besides, Flame and Fullmetal sounded good. (Though he agreed, Fullmetal and Flame sounded better.)

Roy nodded, smiling as he did.

"What?" Edward was confused, but he tried asking; "you want to give the dating thing a go, even with what happened last time?"

Roy nodded again, still smiling. It wouldn't harm to try and Edward seemed like such a great guy to be with, provided you could deal with his rants.

Ed's grin returned and he promptly hugged the Colonel close to his body. "Yes! Awesome!" Then Edward pulled away and poked Roy's nose. "But a few things straight, I like sex, a lot of it, so be prepared! Second, I am your only other love except for alchemy, it will be the only thing that is more important than myself and you will expect the same in return. No cheating on me, ever! Final note, if I want something, I will get it and I take it _all._" It was a lot to remember, but Roy was sure he had the gist of it. "We can love alchemy together, we could study together, maybe even find a cure to change chimaeras back into their original form!" He could imagine all the things they could do. Maybe even break the law of human transmutation, bring someone back to life without serious consequences and succeed! Save lives, bring people back from the dead and bring people back to the land of the living moments from almost dying.

Roy could imagine it as well. Whilst they weren't always good, religion had always accomplished things and changed the world because of it. A lot of it from a book that Christians worshipped in Aerugo. A book that became the law in Aerugo, no sex before marriage, homosexuality was against the law, if you broke a promise you went to Hell and there was sometimes, in some Christian culture though Roy couldn't remember what, where if you confessed of every sin you had committed to a priest (or something along those lines) then you would be able to ascend to Heaven when you die without going through purgatory first. (1)

Aerugians were as fond of alchemy as was Ishbal. Except Aerugians called it witchcraft. Laughable to all those alchemists.

So, imagine what Alchemy could do for their country that ran on alchemy. Xing had profited from their alchehestry, similar to their alchemy. They and Xing had close relations because of that, they both appreciated alchemy and alchehestry and both benefitted from it. It was just a shame that a bloody great desert was blocking the ways between one another.

He really wasn't prepared when it finally came to intercourse. He wasn't prepared for what stories he had read about. He'd read and heard stories about when people have sex, if it was with a certain person, then your mind would blow and your world would turn white a few seconds, it was that good. Soul mates, apparently, true soul mates, that if you had sex with this certain person then your world changed axis forever, prepared, wanton or not.

So, imagine his surprise when his world tilted, the world flashed white unlike any white he had ever seen and his mind exploded hard enough for him to forget his own name. He swore he could even spot Cherubs (2) in that white world, golden wings and gates, if only for a mili-second. He hoped that he wasn't the only one seeing this, that surely the soldier was too.

The pleasure was so intense, unlike anything he had ever felt before, it was impossible not to let Roy's name fall from his lips like a prayer. He never did believe in God or Heaven or Hell, but where he was right now was the closest thing to Heaven. He couldn't tell where he was leaning his head, was that Roy's shoulder, or on top of his head? It didn't matter, he was blind to pleasure, the only kind of blind ever wanted. He revelled in this, purely the feeling of cloud nine, wherever this place was, he wanted to stay. But as he stopped moving - he was moving? - the place started to disappear. So, he moved again and the place and feeling remained, stronger than before. Even if someone was to open the door, whatever door there was, it would be impossible to stop.

Roy hadn't done much either, since he was trapped in that white world of bliss too, oblivious if even a person were to break down the door.

They kept together, remained in that white place for a few moments more, when a flash of yellow light burst forth from their visions, and before they knew it, they were spent. The white world disappeared, but it would always be there, the next time they had sex, the world would be ready to open again.

"E-ed..." It took great concentration from the son of Light to hear it, but he heard it alright. Mustang's voice, the only thing strong enough to just about penetrate Bliss.

He was unable to respond until he caught his breath, but when he did, he bounced on it. "Roy, your voice... I heard you say my name!"

The spent soldier looked like he went through a shower, he was sweating, but he had a goofy grin. Then he looked confused as he heard Ed's words. His voice? He spoke?

Light Jr. nodded. "Yeah, I heard you gasp my name. There's still hope to get your voice back yet!" Then he hugged the Colonel, still going through a slight high even if his shirt, the Colonel's trousers and jacket were soiled with their apparent sin. He was warm, warm as a campfire and he could smell the burning bliss on him. He always did love fire, how it could bring warmth even in the coldest of places and comfort you by being there. He nuzzled into Mustang's neck a moment before pulling back, a grin on his face.

"That was the best sex I've had. We have _got _to do that again!" He would laugh, but he was exhausted, but the raven haired could hardly disagree. Even if they did plan it to be a one night stand, it would be impossible to ignore what they had felt. Roy, with all his flings, had _never _felt that before. He would be damned if he let that go, ever.

...

Before Maes headed off to meet with his friend, something bothered him about a certain thing a certain guy told him.

"Hey, Maes," Roy spoke up, having been silent for the past few hours with nothing better to do. "Do you think alchemy is bad?"

Hughes was surprised. He figured he shouldn't, his common sense told him that because there was a war going on and the alchemists were doing a lot of the damage on the city, they'd feel like the devil's servant too. "No, of course not, Roy. Alchemy did good in Xing too, didn't it?"

His best friend nodded, but didn't appear very convinced. "What about Ishballans? They say we're the devil's people, devil worshippers. With the arrays we have to draw, sometimes I feel like we summon them." But he didn't stop there, his mouth kept flowing. "And the Aerugians, what about them? They say it's witchcraft and if caught using it in Aerugo, we'd get burnt at the stake for it." Roy looked at the investigator, the one who is meant to have all the answers, the big noses of the military. "I'm certain I saw some, Maes. This isn't just some alchemists we're dealing with here, aren't we dealing with Aerugians too? They say they use magic to quell witchcraft, but aren't they just being hypocritical?"

Hughes blinked. "Aerugians? Roy, are you sure?"

Mustang looked down. "Well... I _thought _I saw some, but I'm not sure if I can trust everything I see these days. I've been seeing things that aren't there, Maes." He looked up at the sun, blazing down upon them. "I think I see water far beyond sometimes, but we don't, we don't have much water left. I wake up from nightmares and still see people being blown to bits by either my hand or Kimblee's, I still see the rows of dead bodies from an alley in the city when I wake up, see them on my tent floor, watch everyone who comes inside step on them and their eyes pop like grapes." He chuckled. "I'd do anything for a drink right now."

The very next day, their camp had flooded over, the sand they used to love as their ground and protection began sucking them up, eating them and the harder they struggled, the faster they were eaten. It wasn't just mines and magicians they had to worry about; it was the sand itself they were scared of for days afterwards.

But now that he thought, really thought, it struck a nerve in Hughes' body. If it was true and Roy really did see an Aerugian soldier, or civilian, then that meant that this was more than a civil war. This was becoming a war against another country. He couldn't prove that, but then why did the Fuhrer and the army disguise it as nothing more than terrorists taking over Ishbal and using alchemy, if it really was Aerugians using Ishbal and its religious similarities to get at Amestris from the inside? It was a much more serious matter if that were true, but that would make sense why so many State Alchemists were being sent in to deal with the matter. Was the story of simple terrorists just to prevent panic, or possible uprisings? That would make sense too, but he couldn't confirm anything until he had another chat with Roy.

Gracia had the pie ready, a nice apple pie, sure to bring Mustang out in good graces. If anyone could ever bring out the good in people, it was Gracia. No murderer would ever have the heart to murder again after they set eyes on Gracia, the investigator was convinced of this. He gave her his best smile, a kiss on the lips, door open for the lady and a comment on her gracious looks for them to be on their way to meet his best friend.

...

"Look, Roy, don't worry, it happens sometimes."

Roy wasn't convinced. Day one of being a boyfriend to the blond and already he was acting like a worried wife. He caught Edward that morning as they were getting breakfast coughing. Limping too, but he figured that was normal after what had happened. He patted his back and freaked when he saw blood. Edward tried to play off how serious the matter was, but the soldier wasn't budging.

Roy glared at Edward again.

Ed sighed. "It's been happening every since I was fifteen. Ok, long story short. Can we just sit down already?"

Roy relented and that's when Edward gave in to telling Mustang what he refused to tell Marcoh.

"Basically, my father left when I was young, so I don't really care about that bastard anymore, it was just me, my brother and mother. We lived in Resembool, the far village away from any military business and quiet place with an amazing school, but we had to work as well, milking cows and feeding the chickens, sometimes the business of keeping foxes away. Basic far country-boy lifestyle. We had to produce a lot of bread too, what with our country being so war loving and all, so business for us was good. Like a dream life, happy and good enough."

"That changed, one day our mother collapsed whilst my brother and I were gathering chicken eggs, we were only nine and eight at the time. We ran to help her when we saw her on the floor and called the local doctor, but there was nothing they could do. Apparently she had been dealing with it for years but never told us and she died soon after. Luckily, our nearby neighbour, that mechanic I was talking about, her parents allowed us to stay with them."

"We continued looking after the farm, like mother would've wanted, but it was getting tough to pay the rent. The state wanted to take our farm and sell it on, because I wasn't old enough to own the land. I tried to fight for custody, with my newly adoptive parents at my side, but we lost the case and the house was sold onto another farmer, though strangely this farmer wasn't as much a dick as I thought."

Edward drank some tea, allowing Roy to do the same, before he continued. "Turns out they were a couple who actually owned a butchers shop back in Central. Didn't know why they wanted a farm, but since they own both, business runs faster for them. They were the Curtis family, the wife, Izumi Curtis, was an alchemist. My brother and I loved alchemy, we secretly studied it in our father's basement and our mother encouraged it. Izumi found them in the basement and told us that she could teach us better than reading from any old book could."

"So that's where training for alchemy came in, we studied with Izumi and became great alchemists together. Izumi had the power to transmute without a circle too, though she never told us how she did it. So, life was getting back together again."

Edward looked down now and Roy nudged Ed's foot to get him to continue on. "Well, then Alphonse went ill. The same one that took mom away. I couldn't let that happen, so I studied into Xing alchehestry, since I heard that they work on medicine, but there was nothing there. Then I learnt human transmutation." Mustang's eyes widened, any form of human transmutation was illegal, Ed was risking a lot telling him this. "I studied and brought Alphonse to the basement where we learnt alchemy first. I drew the transmutation circle, brought my hands together and preformed alchemy."

Ed's eyes widened slightly as he remembered it all, everything Truth did, said and showed.

"When I looked next I wasn't in the basement anymore, everything was white, so so white. I looked up and saw a gate, no, The Gate, floating, as if it weighed nothing at all, in the air. It looked so heavy though, it was closed, but it was _floating in the sodding air. _There was writing on it... I couldn't read it, in some ancient language we don't remember, Xerxesian maybe, back when Xerxes existed." His words were coming out quicker, less focused than before and if his eyes were anything to go by, Mustang knew why. "Then I heard a voice, behind me, greeting me with a smile, a white person, figure, thing, it didn't even have any eyes, just a mouth, no real body, flat almost, like paper on a background, a black aura around him and all he said was 'hello Mr Al-Che-Mist', like I was the only one."

"I asked where I was, where my brother went, but it just laughed, just laughed! It stood there and laughed. It told me that my brother was still alive, but if I didn't act he'd die. It was grinning the whole time, always grinning. It never sounded excited or mocking, just the _grin, _it was as emotionless as the stories told; just plain white but that _grin. _It had to be mocking me, it had to be! But still, I said I'd trade anything to let my brother live, to give my brother back his normal life. The white figure smiled and told me he could do that, but said that the array meant something more. But it didn't, I had the array right, the array to heal my brother, to trade a part of my body for his, but Truth said he wasn't satisfied. He said I was key, Hope, but I didn't know what he meant by that. Then the Gate opened, oh God, it opened!"

When Elric didn't continue, Roy put a hand on Ed's shoulder and shook it. It wasn't any use; the white figure of Elric's nightmares was still staring at him, grinning.

"Go on, tell him. Tell him how we met. Tell him what you did. Tell him what I gave you, why you can perform alchemy like you can. Tell him how you became a prodigy. Admit it. Go on. You're nothing without me, Edward Elric. If I hadn't given you knowledge, you wouldn't be as great as you are now. You owe me, you always owe me. You'll never be free; you'll always be _my _dog. I own you; I can do what I want with you. You know that, don't you? I could take Roy Mustang too. He would make a great dog."

"No! Leave him alone!" The canteen grew silent at Elric's yell. It was like he was shouting at Roy, but Roy hadn't said anything, Roy _couldn't _say anything. Roy was startled too, his hand left Ed's shoulder, but he knew it wasn't him he was yelling at. So, Ed had imaginary friends, that's his big problem, or rather, imaginary enemies. Even better.

Truth laughed, before he let Elric go. Ed blinked, realising he had yelled out to some invisible man in the canteen and _everyone _heard him. Annoyed, he snapped. "What're you lot looking at?" Murmuring, but not wanting to deal with Fullmetal's temper, they turned away.

Mustang tapped his shoulder a few times, then Edward remembered what he was saying, now that Truth had gone. "Oh... yeah... well, that figure, Truth he said was his name, wasn't satisfied and opened the Gate. He gave me knowledge, so much knowledge, like I was the alchemical circle, I knew everything about alchemy from that and it gave me the ability to perform human transmutation. At a cost."

Roy was expecting that, Truth sounded as emotionless as the stories told. Equivalent Exchange, he had to have been emotionless. "The price was my lungs, I swapped mine for my brother's, so now mine are busted up and I have to take medication to keep them strong. Just sometimes I cough blood. But that wasn't the price of knowledge and being able to transmute without a circle. The price was bigger." He sighed, drank some of his tea before he gave the answer. "For the knowledge and the ability to transmute without a circle, I had to give away my soul."

Mustang blinked. Soul?

Ed elaborated. "My soul, Truth stays with me until the day I die and it's his choice when I die. He tells me what to do and I have to do it or he'd threaten someone. Like some demon, he just plays me like a puppet. I sold my soul to the devil for knowledge and power without realising it, how utterly story like is that?" There were stories, Dr Faustus, Dorian Grey, probably many others that describe the dangers of witchcraft and alchemy. You mess around, you get caught. People selling their souls to 'the devil' for power and they always lose.

"Truth isn't exactly clear on what I have to do. He put me here for a reason instead of having me executed. I'm not sure why, but what I have to do is here somewhere. It's why I'm giving the doctors such a hard time."

Roy wasn't sure why Edward was telling him all of this. He had to have something to gain from telling him, what was it?

"I can see your face. Yeah, actually, there is something you can do for me." Edward smirked, filled with devilish ideas. "You're not gonna like it." But there was no going back, he listened, and now Ed had tricked the use of equivalent exchange, knowing Roy could not refuse. He was learning too much from his now master, Truth was proud. "I want you to help me break into Central HQ." _Seriously? _"They have a file on everything that's going on in Ishbal. I need to find a certain something that happened and who ordered it."

It was like asking to take the shoe off of the Fuhrer's foot without him noticing. There was no way to do it, impossible! Why would Edward ask such a thing? Did he want to be shot?

"I could ask Truth's help, but I've got nothing left to give up, nothing I want to give up anyway. My brother is most of what I am and nothing hurts my brother. That's why I want your help, heck; can't you ask Maes to grab it for us? He works right in Central HQ anyway!"

That made sense, but he wasn't even sure what Edward was after. Taking out his pad and crayons (yes, he was still using the fucking crayons) he wrote; _What case are you after?_

Edward read it, before he looked towards Mustang. Then picked up his tray and went to put it away. What the hell? Confused, his partner followed, not quite sure the reason for changing place to telling him, but it must've been important and secret to him. Or it was something really bad.

Ed lead him towards their rooms (or cells, rather, though they were a bit more decorative than cells now) and sat in Mustang's room. Colonel frowned, but allowed it and sat beside Edward on the bed. Why he chose this place, he had no idea. It was a pretty secure place, true, and it meant that if a panic attack should happen it would be resolved quickly, but he wasn't sure if what Ed was going to tell him was that bad.

Elric took a few deep breaths, then looked Roy in the eyes when he told him. "I'm looking for who ordered the execution of my adoptive parents, two doctors, the Rockbells."

The reaction was instantaneous. Mustang's eyes widened, similarly as if he was on drugs and his mind was thrown back. The memories came quicker than he could follow, all the memories all came together, all of what he had done in the war, but he could still hear the judge's verdict, after being held in a cell and waiting for a week, three of those days were just travelling back to Central and finding a suitable prison.

_Colonel Roy Mustang. Having heard about the attack on Lieutenant Maes Hughes and the attack on many other soldiers who were trying to help you. The result of killing two Dr Rockbells and attacking your supposed best friend, you are hereby sentenced to recovery at Lab Five having been diagnosed with shell-shock from our top doctor, Dr Winterfield. You are not to be released until your doctor, Dr Yealland, has claimed that you be fit enough to return back to duty, until you are no longer a threat to the public. _Then his fate was sealed the moment the hammer hit down. He was insane, he was insane, he was insane, he was insane. And everybody knows it.

He didn't hear a cry for help, he didn't hear the footsteps running towards him, but he had felt someone touch him. They weren't allowed to, they couldn't, couldn't they see? He was insane. No, they were going to take him away, to jail, for his crimes. He couldn't go! He didn't know, he didn't!

It took time, but the guards finally managed to pry Mustang's hands off of Elric's neck. He was in shock, he hadn't expected Mustang to react that badly towards hearing the names, but he knew there was a small risk. He was more broken than anyone had realised. Truth had told him what Mustang did.

"He's Roy Mustang, he killed your adoptive parents. He did it in cold blood, he said so himself. You can't ignore that, can you? You really risk getting with him when he's done that?"

Fullmetal had answered back. "That might be, but he feels bad for it, he must. I saw him sobbing the first night; he must've felt really bad for what he'd done. No, it wasn't him that killed the Rockbells, he might've held the gun, he might've pulled the trigger, but he wasn't the one to decide."

"Be careful, Mr Alchemist, Mustang is what he is, a mustang, an animal. He could turn on you."

It was more of a taunt, but it was a warning as well. Truth wasn't going to stop him, but he wouldn't be too happy about it. He didn't care for Elric's happiness, so long he did as he was told, he didn't care.

Winry was another matter. He hadn't told her, hadn't even called her yet, so he was probably expecting a visit real soon, but he couldn't tell her what Mustang had done. He couldn't, she'd take it out on him and with the state he's in, he couldn't let that happen. He liked Mustang, more than was safe to, he wanted Mustang more than anyone else, be damned if he let anything take him away.

He had to watch as several guards took the Colonel down, putting stocks back on his arms, just when he got the privilege of not having them anymore. Because he couldn't do alchemy without a circle, they assumed it'd be safe. They were wrong.

He had to watch as they took Roy Mustang away, kicking and he would be screaming if he could.

"Edward!" Looking back, oh surprise, Winry. He wasn't that surprised, but he was at a guard running behind her.

"I'm so sorry, Major Fullmetal! I tried to tell her you were busy, but she-"

Edward raised a hand, he was used to this, he was still a Major, pretty high ranking. "It's alright; bolt head here would just run past no matter what you say. Not your fault." Winry was anything but amused. She was in tears.

"Ed, have you heard? You must've, my parents... they're dead!" Ed had heard about five days ago, he had grieved back then and he would grieve at the funeral, but he hadn't expected Winry to have heard so soon. He had the privilege being in the military, word travels fast, but Winry was all the way back in Resembool. How did she hear? "Look, it's here!" She held up a copy of yesterdays Central Times. There was an article written by Frank Archer, written in big with a picture of Winry's parents.

**DOCTORS EXECUTED IN COLD BLOOD**

Be damned, Ed read on and saw his worst, what he was hoping to not see.

_The order was given to one Colonel Roy Mustang to execute the two well respected doctors, both who lived in Resembool. Roy Mustang, also known as the Flame Alchemist, has been charged with insanity for this crime and now resides in a mental institute for recovery. _

Now everybody knew and Roy was going to find out very quickly. What to do?

...

Maes arrived at Lab Five fairly quickly, with Gracia and pie in hand. When they arrived, they had to wait twenty minutes before anybody could figure out where Roy Mustang had gone. It turns out that something had happened between Roy Mustang and Edward Elric that Flame's consciousness fled him and he attacked Ed. Fullmetal was ok, as his mechanic arrived at a good time, but nobody was sure how Flame was doing. He was given restraints, but there was very little else they could do, rather than sedate him, but the doctor wasn't around to give permission to use sedatives. (3)

Hughes had to see his best friend. If he was still as bad now as he was before, he was in a real mess and he needed someone there for him. He was finally taken to Roy when they were sure that it was safe, another ten minutes of waiting. Gracia was nervous, this wasn't a great first impression, Roy didn't like hurting people, he was just having a difficult time and he needed his best friend there to help him along the way.

When they finally reached Flame's room, he hadn't improved. He had realised what he had done and he was breaking apart. _He'd attacked Edward, Ed, who was always so nice to him, warm, devious, best laid he ever had. _And he still couldn't tell him apart from his memories when his mind broke. He had his face buried in a pillow, the pillow covered in obvious stains from tears and a bit of blood from a cut he got from the floor in the struggle. His hands were in stocks for protection, knowing that he was in a really bad state and was dangerous to everyone. Looking at him now, you could hardly say he'd hurt anyone. He was too vulnerable for that.

When the door opened, he was more surprised than anyone else. He looked up, his face from the pillow still with tears running down his cheeks. Surely Edward wanted nothing to do with him now, not after what he had done. But it wasn't Fullmetal, as Roy had suspected as such, but it was Maes Hughes, his best friend, with a girl he had never met before, but he assumed it was Gracia.

Maes was more shocked at the condition of his best friend, Mustang had never cried before, at least that Hughes had seen. To see him now... he couldn't bear it. He let the care bear inside of him take over, the one Roy always complained about. He wasn't complaining now.

"Oh, Roy..." He sat down beside his broken friend and hugged him, like a father would a son, allowing his broken friend to cry, bring tears he never let escape before. The Colonel didn't want to, but he couldn't hold back, no matter how hard he tried. He didn't want to appear broken in front of his friend, last time he had he had almost frightened Hughes away, but he always came back, no matter how terrible a deed he had done. He believed in him, like nobody else seemed to. He hoped Ed would soon be like Maes, be more than Maes, be a Maes that would always be there for him, help him, fix him. First, he had to hope that, like Maes, he would always come back no matter the terrible deed he had done.

Gracia could do nothing now but watch Maes comfort his friend, his broken friend. Even as this was the first time Gracia had met the famous Roy Mustang, she knew that he needed help. If he was forced to wearing stocks and be stuck in a cell all by himself, then he needed help. She wanted to help, how, she didn't know, but she would help Roy Mustang in any way she could, like Maes wanted to.

Roy's lips moved, asking questions nobody could hear; _Where's Edward? Where am I? Why does it hurt so much? _His lips moved too frantically for Maes to understand. If Edward were here, he'd understand him; he'd be able to answer. But he was gone. That made Roy Mustang cry harder.

* * *

Yeah. I feel for the guy too. *glomp for Mustang*

Surprised? Me too actually. Some of this might be inspired by a book I read. I found it. Yeah. About devil summoning and shit. It was great.

Review and all that. I'll try to update faster. I don't know why I said that, we know it's not going to happen, but with summer holidays... let's get hopeful!  
~Blackie

Footnotes~

(1) My Catholic knowledge is crap, I realise that. I'm sorry! I live in a pretty Protestant area, I'm Protestant so my Catholic knowledge is not that great. I took history, not religious education and that was about Muslims and shit anyway. If you want to correct me or if you're a Catholic and want to give me info, that'd be great!

(2) Cherubs - Remember those naked baby statues that have wings and hold a heart bow and arrow? Those are Cherubs. I must express my disappointment at there being no Cherubs to fight in Bayonetta, then I feel grateful when Dante's Inferno sends in demon babies and I feel like an utter bastard for killing them.

(3) This is true. Nurses in Britian are not allowed to give any medication unless perscribed by a pharmacy to a patient without the doctors' permission. This is troubling because I got told sometimes nurses can't find a freaking doctor **ALL DAY **in some hospitals.


	5. Comfort

Right, quick update for you! Because the last chapter was left on a bit of a bad note, I decided to update quicker! Aren't I nice? 8D

So, I have something to say. Normally, I don't care but omfg I have to. They say sex sells. You know what? THEY LIED. LIES I TELL YOU LIES! Last chapter, a few asked for a sex scene, I did one, did I get reviews from those people? NO, OF COURSE NOT. FINE. YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M NOT DOING ANOTHER SEX SCENE EVER AGAIN. EVER. YES! I got the LEAST amount of reviews on a sex scene, CAN ANYONE BELIEVE THAT? xD I certainly couldn't! Well, I'll avoid writing them then if that's what I get D *evil smirk if fanfiction breaks the face*

So now I need to note something. The notes that Roy writes here are SIGNIFICANT. **DON'T SKIP THE LETTERS. **You will soon see! Those that I have sent them to already to test a theory, please don't mention it in a review, otherwise I will have to hire an assassin on all of you. That's a promise. :D

Oh yeah, and this isn't my best chapter. Apologies in advance, but I kind of rushed it because I had a sudden "OMFG I HAVE TO WRITE" thing. You know how it is.

**WARNING: Possibly out of character Winry, oh yes p.s. I'm never writing Winry in for a long time ever again. IT WAS PAINFUL I TELL YOU, it was so hard not to be harsh to the girl, it really was xD a bit of crying towards the start and the rest I've actually forgotten. See for yourself, lazy gits.**

* * *

Comfort

Edward was left feeling awkward for the past half an hour. He wasn't great with people who cried and here he was, standing awkwardly hugging Winry close to him as she cried an ocean. Ed already felt like he was drowning. Don't get him wrong, he liked Winry, but he just hated feeling useless and he was useless right now. Crying girls were not part of his prodigy knowledge, in fact anything to do with girls were not on his prodigy knowledge. Truth told him nothing about what to do when a girl is crying like she'd make the next Pacific. Like Truth knew anything about girls anyway.

"Why should I know about them? It's not like I breed like your kind. Horrible habit, that." Truth seemed to complain, Ed had to look over Winry's back to spot the white being. Oh, thank goodness for that, one Truth was bad enough.

Truth smirked at Edward's attitude. "Hm, nice show with the raven haired, though."

Ed wanted to gag, Truth actually watched them? Why the bloody hell would he do that?

"Wanted to figure why you looked like you were dragged through a hedge backwards." Truth shrugged. So, Truth could actually think like a human sometimes. Useful info. Truth vanished after that thought, as if disgusted. That's when Winry stopped crying, wiping her eyes of tears that no longer existed.

"Feel any better?" It was the wrong thing to ask, Ed knew, but he didn't know what else to say.

Winry nodded anyhow, however. That was a good thing, Ed supposed. Winry broke the hug off and wiped her eyes again. When she finally looked up at Edward, her eyes were like pandas, only they were red, bloodshot, and still glistening like they had more tears ready at the flood gates. Her face was shocked, however, no longer that sad. Strange.

"Edward!" She yelled. Yeah, yelled, giving Edward another headache he had to sort out without medication. "What happened to your neck?"

Edward was confused for a moment, before he remembered earlier. Then he scratched the back of his head. How to explain this without her going off her racket? "Oh, you see… well, there was this hot guy and… we kind of got it on… yeah." That seemed plausible enough for him being hesitant; all guys were hesitant to talk about sex to girls, weren't they?

Winry shook her head. "No, this person did it to intend to harm you. Did you forget that my parents are doctors?" Honestly, he hadn't, he just forgot that she learnt from them a bit. "Who did that, Ed? And why do you protect them?"

Ed sighed. "Well, I was right about the getting it on part, yes I had sex. First time since my automail. Anyway, he's here for a reason, Win."

"Wait, so you had sex with a whack job?" Edward glared at her use of description. She was quick to apologise, realising that Ed himself would be considered among those 'whack jobs'. "Sorry. But who was it?"

Edward really wasn't sure if he should tell her. Knowing her, she'd want to go right in there to the guy and throw a wrench at Roy, resulting in her being arrested and he really didn't feel like bailing her out. But if he didn't tell her, and she found out, then he'd get the wrench to the head. Well, guess there was no harm in trying.

"The Flame Alchemist." Ed let out, hoping she didn't remember who the Flame Alchemist actually was.

Winry looked confused, then, to Ed's horror, looked back at the paper she had taken from the Elric's hand. Then her eyes resembled the eyes of Hades himself, big red fireballs, raging inferno, etc. "The Flame Alchemist?" Ed nodded. "The Flame Alchemist, Roy Mustang?" Ed nodded again, looking anywhere but at her.

A few quiet seconds past, Winry glaring at the paper, Edward looking around at the lovely walls. Funny, he never noticed all the written lines and crossed out pairs of four lines. So, they were in the used to be prison area of the lab, eh?

Then Winry burst. "You mean that murderer is here? Right here, in this lab?"

Ed wanted to snap back at her, Mustang wasn't a murderer; he was like the rest of them. If he was a murderer, then the rest of them were; him especially. But she carried on quickly, "Take me to him; you have to take me to him."

Ed knew that was a bad idea. He shook his head, "Why should I do that?" Winry tried to interrupt, but Ed finished quickly. "Who should you be blaming; the guy who pulled the trigger, or the guy who ordered it?"

Winry stayed quiet, basically answering Light Jr's question. The Elric sighed before making a gesture for Winry to follow him. She did so, albeit reluctantly, though sticking close to his side, as if she were afraid he was next in line. She was probably right, too.

He lead Win into the canteen, though it was near ending time, reaching about 3pm and near closing time, but a little convincing of the soldiers and they permitted that Ed could use the room privately, so long as one of them remained behind to 'keep an eye on them'. The most Ed would be able to do would murder Winry with her toolbox and even that would be way too loud. He wasn't an idiot, though he had to wonder what was in that toolbox if Winry was carrying it so easily around with her. Air, maybe?

They both sat in silence for a few seconds. Ed wanted to talk more about Winry's parents, but he feared the guards overhearing, he didn't trust any of them. Truth agreed, he knew they promised they would not listen, but they do, they lie, lie!

Ed decided to break the silence. "Hey, Win," He waited until he had the little Rockbell's attention before he continued. "My automail seems a bit stiff…" As soon as he let those words out, the Rockbell was gone to the world. The world of flesh anyway. She kept jabbering on about how a certain part of the automail seemed a lot stiffer than the rest and scolding Ed for not using oil and what not. He was hardly able to use the oil; the vultures were always upon him, watching him like some thing gone wrong. He wasn't… was he? Had he gone wrong? Did he look it? Was it obvious?

Truth didn't seem to think so, for it shook its head, but it'd been awfully silent. It grimaced, the first time Ed had seen a clear emotion on its face, but even then, it was hard to tell if it was a grimace of disgust or utter boredom. Probably both. A few more seconds of Winry's banters and Truth shook its head before disintegrating. Literally, he disintegrated before Edward's eyes. He had to blink several times, just to make sure, but he was sure.

"Ed?" Winry asked, having been staring at Edward for several minutes, it felt like minutes anyway, and he was looking at something that… wasn't there. She knew Ed had been sent here because he was ill, but how ill was he really? She thought it was just the vomiting of blood, was it something worse?

Elric looked back at Winry quickly, hoping she hadn't noticed. By her eyes, her frightened doe like eyes, he knew she had. He smiled, however, "I'm fine, Win, really. I'm safe here, aren't I?" That was true, but he wouldn't tell her anything about how he was feeling, he wasn't her problem and she had enough to deal with her parents being gone too. Looking up, the guard seemed to be asleep. Perfect time to tell Winry what he was doing. "Win, I'm working to see who the bastard was that did that to Mr and Mrs Rockbell."

Winry blinked a few times. How did Ed mean it when he said that? In what way? "What are you saying, Edward?"

Ed smiled kindly to Winry. If it were Roy, he'd have smirked, but since this was-

_Wait… Roy?_

Ed's smile vanished as he remembered that Mustang was taken away, kicking and screaming and he stood up quickly. "Ah crap, I left Mustang to those damn scientists!" he ran for the door, but the guard, as if by a miracle, woke up hearing his heavy footsteps and intercepted him. "What the…?"

"I'm sorry, Major, but the Flame Alchemist can't see you."

Ed's teeth near crunched together, hard enough for Winry, who followed closely behind Edward, to wince. She got closer to Edward's side, afraid that he might lash out. "Edward, what are you-?"

But Fullmetal wasn't listening; he was too busy glaring at the soldier, trying to understand why he wasn't allowed to visit Roy. "Why can't I?"

The guard held up a hand in apology, or to calm down, but also a signal to stop, but Winry didn't need to know that. "I'm sorry, sir, but with how Colonel Mustang reacted towards you being alone, it would be best to leave him be. We don't want another incident."

Ed didn't like the way he put it. Like it was his fault. Well… it was, but not in the way the guard was thinking. Roy needed him, because if he left Mustang alone, he just knew that Roy was going to assume the worst. He didn't mean to do it!

"But I just need to talk to him. It wasn't his fault that happened; I just need to tell him I'm alright. C'mon please? See, I even said please!" Even as he tried, the guard refused to let him see Mustang. The guard also mentioned that lunch time was over and that it was pack up time, aka leave so they can make dinner. Ed didn't understand why he couldn't hang in the dining room, they weren't a bother and they weren't even cooking in that area. But with a few words from Winry, the tears came back in the process too, distressing Ed even more; he decided to let go and lead Winry outside.

She was smiling, despite her tears, though Elric couldn't understand why she was crying this time, unless a sudden memory of her parents? It boggled his mind, but nonetheless, he tried to comfort Winry, seeing she was having a bad time.

"Hey, listen," He tried awkwardly, but tried he did, "Alphonse is in his apartment studying if you want to see him." He knew that Alphonse was better at looking after tearful girls than he was and Alphonse liked Winry more than he did. Probably because Winry didn't really have a good reason to hit Alphonse with wrenches. Winry nodded, not wanting to speak, silently wiping her eyes of, in Truth's opinion, crocodile tears. But that was Truth and Edward still didn't like Truth and didn't have to agree with him. He was merely his servant, not his worshipper. He remained with Winry, trying his best to comfort her whilst Truth laughed at his discomfort and uselessness, until Alphonse arrived. Then he'd see Roy before the bastard did something he'd regret.

He decided to distract himself from Truth's whispers, trying again to comfort Winry when she needed it. "Oh, I forgot to say, I'm trying to find out who ordered your parents' death. Did…" he hesitated then tried again, "Did you want me to tell you?"

Winry shook her head, looking ad Edward with a slight smile. Was that 'thanks'? "No, Ed. I might do something I regret if I knew who it was. You know my temper." Oh, Ed knew her temper alright, as uncontrollable as a lion's. Quite as deadly as one, too, and hardworking. It was always the female lion that did everything, not the male. Same applied to Winry, she worked hard on her automail shop, taking after Grannie Pinako and thought of taking it over when she passed away. Nobody thought about the children of Pinako to die first. "But what were you trying to say earlier?" Winry asked. What he was trying to say had caught her interest. She didn't want him to get into trouble, but it might not have been as bad as she was expecting. Maybe, just maybe.

Fullmetal looked up at his best friend; he looked thoughtful for a moment, before looking up at the sky. "I asked for Roy's help, he says he knows someone in Investigations and said he'd try to get the file on your parents' execution. If we get that file, then I might know who did it."

Winry nodded, that didn't seem too dangerous. Though something didn't sit right with her. "But?"

Ed was hoping she wouldn't notice. Girls were sharp when they wanted to be. "If it doesn't work, we might have to break into Central HQ."

Yeah, Winry slapped him for that. It was audible too. "Edward! You can't do that! They could court martial you!"

Ed rubbed his head slightly, it wasn't a hard hit, being honest, still stung like a bitch. Well, under normal circumstances, yes, they would court martial him, but if he were labelled insane? What if he said he was following Truth, the so called white figure? His badge says he wasn't normal; would they give him a chance? Maybe, just maybe. "I know it sounds crazy, Win, but I gotta try."

"No, you don't. Mom and Dad wouldn't have wanted you to risk your life just to avenge them. I wouldn't want you to if I died either." Winry told him sternly. It was the only way to get it through to him.

He hesitated. Decidedly, he nodded. "Alright, but I'm keeping an eye on the papers in case more comes out. Can you do me a favour and not mention anything to Mustang, if you see him?" Winry didn't exactly like it, she wanted to ask Mustang about her parents, what they did in Ishbal and how they were, how he knew them, but she could respect that the Flame Alchemist was already having a bad time, from what Edward had told her. She could wait, she had to, but she would see Mustang eventually for answers she deserved.

…

Somehow, whilst comforting Mustang, Maes noticed that Roy had gotten a hold of a pen. Alarmed, he was about to shout for a guard, or snatch the pen off him, when he noticed that Mustang wasn't drawing a transmutation circle at all. He was writing, writing a letter, it appeared, almost. Maes hadn't meant to snoop, but Roy had snatched the pen and gone right into writing on the bed once he got his notebook from his jacket pocket, he hadn't hesitated, even when it was obvious that Hughes was reading. Roy hadn't seemed to care, he just _had _to write, from what Maes could see, the concentration, despite the half insane look Roy wore, on his face and in his eyes told him that. Maes read what Roy wrote and tried to memorize it;

_Holy... I can only express my deepest sympathy and my greatest fear on what had happened today. Unbelievable as it sounds, I hurt him! Really, I hurt him so badly, and now I've driven him away! Traitor, that word springs to my mind, in my mind never leaving, never shutting up, traitor, traitor! I'm so sorry; I didn't mean to hurt you! Never again, it won't happen again, I promise, never again! Gate, I pray that you stay; I just got you, now you leave, please don't!_

Maes was confused. Who was Roy writing to? Who was this "you" he mentions? It was hard to read, Maes had to read it several times to be sure that that was what the distraught man had written, but he was certain. Said man wasn't crying anymore, but his lips were still moving, like he was praying, but not a sound was released, not a sound left those full lips. Hughes couldn't read those lips either, those that were turned too far away from his view to be followed to form a clear sentence.

"Roy?" the detective tried, but the sick man didn't seem to have heard him, or at least acknowledged that his best friend had spoken at all. As soon as Hughes laid a hand on the Flame Alchemist, there was an immediate reaction. He stiffened, made a move like he was about to turn and slap the offender away, but he stopped halfway. His arm was raised, but then he brought his other to push the hand off him. He knew it was Maes talking to him know, knew it was Maes who touched him. He didn't really want Hughes to be the one, but that's what the world gave him. Fuck the world, Mustang thought.

"Hey, Roy? Hughes tried again to get a better response, but the Colonel just shook his head.

"Uh, dear?" Ah, Roy had almost forgotten that there was a woman in the room. He hoped that he hadn't scared her. Now he realised he gave the worst first impression imaginable, in his opinion.

Quick to please the princess of his dreams, Maes got up from the bed and went right to Gracia. "Ah, Gracia! I'm so sorry, Roy isn't usually like this. He's a really nice guy when you get to know him, I promise!"

That wasn't what Gracia was worried about, she could see that the soldier needed help; hence why he was here in the first place, what was the problem was that she didn't know how to help. She was a kind soul, an angel in human form, having a need to help others even if they have no relations to her. She wanted to help the poor man that was Maes' best friend, but she didn't know how.

"No, it's alright, I understand, Maes," She smiled, reassuring her other half, "I just don't know how to help…"

Understanding dawned on Maes, but not before the utter ewe and adoration. Roy wanted to cringe, but he ignored it and turned his head away, reading what he had written. Maes had seen it, he knew, but it didn't matter. It was a message to Edward anyway; he was the only one that really mattered right now. If he hadn't been disgusted by the sudden insanity that sprung from the Colonel. What was he going to do if Edward had rejected him?

A tap on his shoulder again and he looked up at the happy couple. It made his heart clench with both distaste and envy. He always said he hated marriages, because of what marriage means and the stocks, but he couldn't help but remember Edward when he looked at the two. He was the only one who bothered to help him, stopped him killing a man, for Gate's sake. That had to mean something, didn't it? Only someone who cared about him would've bothered. Edward hated Yealland too, didn't he? He could've just let Roy be done with it and kill the bastard and he wouldn't have blinked. It wasn't like they hadn't done it before, they had killed hundreds, shot them, stabbed them, blew their houses and belongings up, burnt them and for each and every one, they apologised. But did it even mean anything? What good was sorry if they're already dead? How hard could it be to let someone kill a person they hated, despised with all intent?

The only difference was that their killings were not of their free will, whilst killing Yealland would've been done by his own hand and sorry really wouldn't have cut it. Roy knew this, Edward knew this, so did he do it out of friendship or was it something more?

"Roy-boy?" Roy shook his head and glared slightly at his friend. Hughes smiled, he knew he wasn't fond of that nickname, but it did the trick. It was hard work trying to keep the mustang's attention nowadays. "I'd like you to meet Gracia, my little sugar plumb!" _Sugar what? _Roy made sure that the comment didn't show on his face and he smiled slightly, despite the giveaway of his slowly growing normal but still red eyes.

Gracia smiled and nodded in acknowledgement. "It's pleased to meet you, Roy." Her voice was delicate, Roy decided, too delicate. She was probably everything Hughes ever wanted; he had always wanted a loving family, the white picket fence and laughing children building sand castles in the sand pit. Roy could never again look at sand the same way, whilst he couldn't understand children and that white picket fence might soon turn black. Roy could probably get used to her being a friend, but never as anyone he'd want to look after him or to even love him. Not anyone like her, but more like Ed. He didn't give in, he loved playing games, he didn't have to be kind, Roy would know from the words.

Roy stopped thinking along those lines before there was no going back.

A knock on the door, well it wasn't so much a door but a rectangle of bars that moved together to leave a passage to leave and enter, but there was a knock that attracted their attention nonetheless. It was a basic security guard, but with his frowning face and a call to Lieutenant Colonel Maes Hughes, it was something serious.

Maes got up with a pat on Roy's shoulder, who only snorted from the sounds of it, and went to the guard's side.

"Doctor Yealland is trying to deem Roy Mustang too dangerous to continue treatment." That wasn't news Maes wanted to hear, but news he had to live with. "He also ordered that Roy Mustang be kept here under solitary confinement for three days and three nights and come out on the fourth morning to see how he's doing. If he's still violent, he will remain another three days until he's calmed down."

Maes stuttered a moment, before he cleared his throat and tried again, "He can still do that?" He was sure he asked for another doctor. "But he's not even Roy's doctor anymore!"

The guard shook his head. "The other doctors have already agreed to it, I'm afraid, Lieutenant Colonel. There's nothing we can do about it but wait the time out." This wasn't great news for Roy, but the guard was right, there was nothing he could do.

Maes nodded, "Has Yealland calmed down?"

The guard shrugged, "Time will tell, but that's not all I wanted to tell you." It wasn't until now that Hughes realised the guard was carrying the _Central Times. _Why was this? The guard handed over the paper to show him the front page.

It was blaringly obvious. An article by Frank Archer, a journalist who always loved to make and break men of the military, and here he was already trying to break an already broken man. As if this could get much worse. Maes had finally just gotten Yealland off Roy's back, but now he had Frank Archer on his tail too.

A light bulb went off. He could use the three days of Roy's solitary confinement to think of a plan. He couldn't let Roy see the paper or have anyone mention the article to Roy, lest he end right back in that solitary confinement or even kill someone. He was sure that Edward Elric had heard about the incident as well, or seen the paper and he was also certain that Edward would be willing to help his friend. If what Doctor Marcoh said was true, then he and Roy had already been intimate. Even if it was a one night stand, Maes wasn't sure which right now but it hardly mattered, you didn't turn your back on the person if they need help, especially when you're suffering both the same and for the same reasons.

For once, Yealland proved to have done something helpful, even if he wasn't even aware of it. Or he probably was, but assumed wrong. Who knew, he was a mad scientist.

Putting a hand on the guard's shoulder, he whispered in a low voice to make sure neither Roy nor Gracia heard. "Can you try to keep this as quiet as possible? Let the guards know, Roy is not to hear a word about this." The guard nodded, about to question why when Hughes went further to explain, "If Roy does hear about this, we could have a repeat of what happened in the electric room, or worse." He mentioned nothing about the fact that Roy had his pen and was perfectly capable of preforming an alchemical reaction if he wanted to. He just left it to him. The guard nodded regardless and went off to talk to the other guards and let it be known that no mention of Frank Archer or his works will be made in Lab Five for fear of blowing the building up. Well, maybe nothing that drastic, but this was the Flame Alchemist they were talking about. Who knew what he would be capable of if he really meant to escape or blow up a building with merely a pad and pen and paper?

Now he needed to come up with a plan to help Roy out, before he realises that his reputation was in danger by a mere reporter. He just knew that Mustang was going to take it badly, what with his reputation being about the only thing he truly believes his has left since his gloves were taken from him forcefully.

Turning to Gracia, taking a look at Roy to see that he wasn't even paying attention to what the investigator and guard were even talking about, he told her softly, "I've got to go and find Edward Elric, something came up." As soon as the name left his lips, Roy's head snapped up, standing to attention and listening to every word, checking for every reaction, perspiration or diluted eyes, like a trained investigator would. He didn't seem satisfied with what he found, as he glared slightly at Maes, as if he knew Hughes was hiding something. Sometimes the investigator had hoped to keep his secret just that, a secret. A magician never revealed his tricks, but a bystander was free to figure it out and use it for himself, if he ever did. Roy was a smart lad and that was just what he did.

Maes smiled, trying to reassure his friend. "Don't worry, Roy, it's nothing bad, I promise!"

_Liar. _Roy worded with his mouth, slowly so even Gracia knew what he was saying without taking too much trying to figure it out.

Maes made a quick plan of escape, anything to keep Roy from knowing the truth. "Uh, well… you know? Just asking Ed what his intentions are and all that." From Roy's face of distaste, Maes knew that he believed him. He was a good liar; after all, he wouldn't be a trained investigator or a trained interrogator if he didn't know how to lie with his face or keep a poker face to prevent them getting an answer.

Roy shook his head, then turned to write on the pad, turning the page from what he had written earlier and wrote next; _Please mind your own business, for once, you pest._

Maes smirked. "Ah, are you getting embarrassed?" Roy glared and shook his head quickly, gritting his teeth in annoyance. Sometimes Hughes could really push the Mustang's buttons; taking reigns and making him go a stupid direction to where he wanted to go. "You are; I bet you are!" Roy wasn't amused. His cheeks didn't show any signs of embarrassment, he wasn't avoiding eye contact and he didn't seem that bothered, merely annoyed. Roy didn't know what Maes was up to, but whatever it was, he wasn't happy with it.

Hughes turned back to Gracia, leaving Mustang to his unhappy thoughts and wonders. "I have to go see Edward; can you stay here with Roy for me and give him that pie you made?"

Gracia wasn't sure, but if it was to help and make Maes happy, she'd give it a go. She nodded, "I'll try, but do you think he lives apple?"

Her other half nodded and smiled a big smile, a big caring smile, "I'm sure he's going to love it, and if he doesn't, I'm sure the thought alone is going to make him happy." He kissed her forehead before turning to run through the kept open door. There was no need to lock it since Gracia would be there and nobody could hurt dear Gracia without being a cold blooded killer. Roy Mustang never was and never will be a cold blooded killer, Maes Hughes was sure of that.

Before he could leave, however, Roy clung to him. He grabbed the arm of his military jacket, much like a child did to their trouser leg when they were begging for attention they weren't receiving. Roy was about as defenceless as a child was and needed to be treated with even more caution than a child, lest he be broken beyond repair. Maes knew what he wanted; he didn't even have to say it. Roy wanted to know how Edward was and he wanted Edward to know that he was alright and hoped that Edward could forgive him.

Maes smiled to his best friend, "Don't worry, Roy. I'll make sure that Edward knows how you're doing and I'll let him know that he should visit soon." He put a hand on his shoulder in promise. "I don't think Edward could stay mad at you, Roy. In fact, I don't think he blamed you at all, but he might've blamed himself. He knows that you're not well, otherwise you wouldn't be in place, would you?" Roy shook his head. "Exactly, and I'm sure that Edward knows the same. If I can, I will try to get Edward to visit you ASAP so you don't have to worry. Would you like that?"

Roy nodded quickly, smiling slightly. This was why Maes was such a good friend, he went out of his way to make sure his friends and colleagues were happy. Even if it was a risk or seemed stupid, Maes still made sure that Roy would be in the best of hands and that he would be happy and treated well. That was exactly why Roy continues to put up with the man's antics and the whole bragging about his girlfriend nonsense, especially about the engagement. Speaking of which, seemed to be put on hold. Maes was even willing to put his own engagement on hold for Roy because he knew Roy wouldn't be able to handle sorting out an engagement and he wanted his best friend to be able to pick out a ring with him, talk about how to sort the engagement etc. Whilst Maes was doing it for the both of them, he still put Roy's considerations near the top and Roy had yet to see another man do the same, safe for the story of Edward Elric's life, putting his life on the line for his own brother's.

Maes gave his friend a pat on the back, his girlfriend another kiss to the forehead, and another on the lips for good measure, before he finally left Roy's solitary confinement cell and went to find the Fullmetal Alchemist on a plan to try to keep Roy Mustang from finding out the article posted by Frank Archer, even for a few weeks to help Roy recover faster.

…

Edward never came. Despite Maes' promise on trying to get Edward to visit him, he never did. Roy Mustang was scared and alone, had been for three days now. It was his third night in solitary confinement, but he hadn't realised that he _was _in solitary confinement until a guard told him that he was free to leave the cell tomorrow. That's when Roy figured it out. He was angry at his friend, but then he shook his head, Maes had probably told him when he wasn't listening, he knew he did that, but still. For three days, he had wondered why Edward hadn't visited him, wondered if it was his fault that Edward wanted nothing to do with him, wondered if Ed was angry at him. As it turned out, it was probably none of those but the simple fact that the guards and doctors were being arseholes.

But not just all the doctors. Roy knew Yealland was behind his solitary confinement, no wonder the doctor remained so bloody quiet. The doctor had probably been planning this behind his back for hours, laughing as he did so and choosing when exactly for it to happen. The next time Roy did an offense, because two offenses were worse than one, much worse, especially when the offense was made towards a doctor and a friend, a boyfriend you had only just had sex with mere moments ago. His hands were aching from having to put up with such heavy stocks around his wrists to prevent him trying to make a circle. It's not like it mattered, but if they felt safer that way, fair enough, they could do what they wanted, for all Roy cared. His arms ached and his wrists especially, because he was writing whilst he was stuck in this infernal place.

It made him feel better, to make himself believe that he was writing to Edward and that Edward was going to read it. He knew that Ed loved to read, a prodigy had to to get as far as Fullmetal had done, and Roy had caught Ed on more than one occasion looking in the direction of the library and either going there or deciding it could wait until later. But the prodigy loved a good book to read, be it scientific or fiction, as long as he learned something from it, he didn't care. Edward was an eager learner and probably a quick one too, so reading notes from Roy would be a joy to both alchemists. After all, Edward didn't seem to mind reading what Roy was trying to tell him, even though he was getting better at lip reading, sometimes Ed preferred to read it from the paper, rather than reading it from his lips. When Roy asked why, he got an answer;

"Your lips are too full; I'm watching your lips rather than the words you're trying to say. It's getting me horny and I don't want to have a sporting hard on here, thank you very much." Fair play to the tiny guy, he wasn't afraid to let him know what was going on biologically, no matter how embarrassing. He didn't even get flustered or show any embarrassment when he said it, like he blurted it out and didn't even realise he had said it. He must've done a few fair embarrassing things in his life, then.

But Edward was the type to speak his mind to those he trusted, harsh or not. He didn't care what anyone thought, he had to say what he thought rather than lie and he would put it bluntly too, more often than not. Roy liked that, the kid had guts and wasn't afraid of anything and he wasn't scared of offending anyone either. The kid also hated stereotyping, Roy figured out. Being a homosexual, Mustang guessed he could understand why Edward felt that way. Ed told him that yes, some Ishballans hated alchemists, but that didn't mean that all of them hated alchemists and not all of them wanted them dead, so he couldn't understand why the Amestrian army was treating them like cattle for slaughter.

Roy had voiced his concern about Aerugians, but Edward had an answer to that too; "So, most of them have been brainwashed into thinking we're magicians or witches or something and we need to be burnt at the stake, does that mean that all of them want us dead? I think not! You can't just say that everyone who sleeps with more than one person just for the sake of having sex is a whore, though you are a whore, but you can't just say that. What about me? I'm not a whore, right?"

That was true; Edward was anything but a whore, he wouldn't sleep with just about anyone. Sure, Edward had said that they could have a one night stand, but they would remain friends rather than just fuck and leave. As it turns out, they even ended up as partners, both being alchemists and loving each other along with alchemy and work on alchemy together.

That was the dream, anyway. But stuck in this cage, Roy wasn't sure if that dream could still become a reality. He had heard nothing from Edward and the guards weren't saying a word. He had to wonder what his best friend had told them. He didn't tell them to keep him in the dark about the world, did he? He hadn't even gotten a newspaper to read! A whole village could've been blown up and he wouldn't have realised it, because the guards refused to let him have a fucking newspaper.

However, his best friend did keep the guards in the dark about the fact that he now owned a pen instead of a crayon, though he was sure he had to hide it. After writing a third 'letter' of sorts to Edward, the pen broke under the pressure and how Roy was holding it. Unable to move his arms very well, it was difficult to write and writing the 'letters' could sometimes take twice as long as usual, completely due to the fact that his wrists could not move and the guards refused to unlock it.

His dinners were all brought to him inside the cell and his cell was only ever opened at that time. Bed was at seven, a ridiculous time for a grown man like himself to be up at and he had to wake up at seven also. Nobody on the planet needed twelve hours of sleep even when he was half dying, not that he knew of anyway. He ended up playing _noughts and crosses_ by himself. He won every time, of course, there was nobody else to play with and the guards refused to do anything of the sort. He was allowed to read books, however, but because of his stocks problem, it was hard to read for a long period of time.

Roy put his pen down, having just finished writing this third letter to Edward. He planned on handing them to Ed, but he wasn't sure of his reaction towards reading them. He felt better having written them, but he wasn't sure if he would feel just as great if Edward happened to find and read them.

He read his three letters again, one after another.

_Dear Edward,_

_Waiting is painful, did you know that? Hurts worse than any mortal wound I could imagine, I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. You didn't visit today; is there a reason for this?_

Written a few mere hours after Maes had taken Gracia and they left home. He had loved Gracia's apple pie, but he was sure that Edward would come to visit him soon after just a little bit of pondering. He was upset when Edward hadn't. Understandably so.

He turned to look at the second letter he had written on the second night, just before he was heading to bed when he had been waiting all day for Fullmetal's not coming arrival.

_Edward,_

_Are you angry at me? Regrettably, I can't think of any other reason why you would not be visiting me by now, nobody but Maes has really visited me since I was sent in this new cell. Everyone avoids me recently, I've noticed that the guards keep extra quiet and try not to get too involved, even as I can't speak anyway. Now I ask, did I do something wrong, was what I did with Yealland and yourself so bad that they find a need to avoid me all the time? Tell me, please, I think I deserve an answer._

He realised he was getting steadily more pleading and a bit more pathetic in that letter, but he hardly cared. It wasn't like anyone he cared about was going to read it. It was Ed's letter anyway, nobody else should be reading it and he wouldn't allow anybody else to read it without a good reason. Not even the old trick of "oh I'm his messenger" was going to work. Light Jr had to pick it up himself.

Looking at the letter he just finished, Roy read it over again for any mistakes.

_Fullmetal,_

_You're still not here; I'm starting to miss you now. One day of being a boyfriend and I've pretty much fucked it up, haven't I? Understand that I'm not usually that violent, but also understand that I'm human too, not an object of bringing destruction, please?_

_Honestly, I'm more than bored without you. Everything just doesn't really matter, nobody really matters because they don't care, they don't see a human, they see a monster, but you don't, do you? Really, you don't see a beast of fire, but a human of passion, yes? Every guard I see still keeps their mouths shut around me and I don't know why, but I don't like it._

It sounded sensible to him, but again, he felt he was being a bit too clingy with Ed from what he had written on the letter. But he reasoned with himself, Maes was really the only other person who cared about him and he didn't like Roy in the way Ed did (or was that _had?_). Weren't people who were couples like this with each other, anyway? Didn't boyfriends write to each other like this? That was acceptable, wasn't it? But it was true, and Roy really had nothing else happening. Everything was just monotone, wake up, eat breakfast, read, eat lunch, read, go for a piss, read again, write, eat dinner, go for a piss then bed. Maybe a shower, if they allowed him. It would be a blessing for it to end tomorrow, that was all Roy Mustang wanted right now, to just see Edward Elric again like Maes had promised he would do.

He just hoped that Ed didn't have eagle eyes, for eagle eyes could spot what could not otherwise be seen from a mile away.

* * *

I already apologised. Shut up.

Now, remember my friends, please don't give out any clues as to the significance towards the letters, or I will have to kill you. :D you don't want that, no? GOOD.

Review and all that. P.s. even if you do review all "OMFG I'M SO SORRY" you still won't get anymore porn. I forbid it.  
~Blackie

P.s.s. NO FOOTNOTES. ANOFEBGOAFBUAEOGFEOF :'D


	6. Reconciliation

I got this done just when I hoped! I feared I might not've been able to get it done tonight, but I did! I feel so proud of myself :D

Those that bothered, if you ever want to complain about late updates or wondering when I'll be updating, stalk me on Twitter ;D go bother me there, because I get a LOT of messages on fanfiction and I'd rather deal with complaints on Twitter when it's easier xD

I had a bad writers block, but I finally got this done! I wanted to get it done really soon because I'm going to university in two weeks time and I wanted to get some stories updated since I don't know when I'll be able to update again ^^; Well, enjoy this!

**Warning: Insanity and hallucinations some people may find disturbing, as well as badly done Izumi (OH YEAH DID I MENTION HER?) and maybe heartbreaking near the end. I hope you're keeping an eye on those letters too!**

* * *

Reconciliation

Edward thought there was a certain limit when it came to being insane. Apparently, there really wasn't. Whilst waiting for Roy's solitary confinement to finally end, Edward had been sitting alone during the canteen hours, meaning he was basically a magnet for anyone up for conversation whether he liked it or not.

Unfortunately, the said attracted wasn't the brightest tool in the shed he could've attracted towards him. Basically, he attracted something more than just broken, but unrecognisable.

Nobody ever called him by his name since he arrived, they all dubbed him Mad Marvin, so Edward guessed his name was Marvin really. Who knew?

The reason he was nicknamed Mad Marvin? It was pretty obvious a few moments into talking to him. The first meeting went pretty much as such;

"Hey, you're Fullmetal, right?"

Edward looked up, hearing his codename being used and smiled slightly; "Sure, that's me."

Mad Marvin smiled a toothy grin, that dude hadn't cleaned his teeth in donkey's years and were a little worse for wear, not that that was an uncommon thing, but they were the worst Ed had yet to see. "Been hearing things about ya."

Edward looked at him again, having turned away to eat his food, with a surprised tone, he asked; "Oh? What things?"

Mad Marvin sat down opposite him, looking around, as if scared there was a spy listening in. There was very little chance people were going to bother. When he was satisfied, he leaned forward towards Ed, encouraging him to do the same; "They say you transmute without a circle. That true?"

Oh, that rumour was old now. No longer a rumour, in fact; "Oh, sure, I can do that." Edward blinked, still actually surprised that people asked him that, for many had witnessed him using alchemy without a circle, except in the last few weeks where moving came to an absolute halt for some reason never explained and people's minds started to collapse in on themselves.

The man looked panicked for a moment, then asked quickly, in a slight panicked voice; "It's not magic, is it?"

Edward lifted an eyebrow; "Um, no, it's definitely alchemy. I'm bound to the same laws; I just use myself as the circle."

The may-as-well-be-tramp calmed down hearing that, as if satisfied and calmed of his fears. He wiped the sweat off his brow as Edward took the time to study the tramp. That was the best word to describe him. He didn't even wear the official blue outfit of the military like the rest of them, but he did hold the same badge basically yelling "Yo! Freak right here, step away from the maniac!" The man had a long beard as well as a moustache, he basically looked like he hadn't been taking very good care of himself for a long time. Usually, the military sent you to be cleaned, showered, checked over for any hidden weapons (aka alchemical circles) and then let go about their business depending on how dangerous they seemed. In Roy's case, he was treated a lot like a dog. It wasn't really surprising, considering what he had done. This bloke sitting in front of Ed hadn't been taken for a shower in weeks, let alone days, and his beard and hair was a mess, a brown colour from what seemed to be white, now brown from all the dirt.

"Thank goodness! They kept telling me they had hidden scouts here! Spies! In our grounds!" _What the balls is he going on about? _"They told me they were going to blow up our grounds with magic from the inside! Hurt me, they did!"

So, clearly there was a reason this bloke was in here, and it didn't sound pretty, whatever it was.

Edward cleared his throat before trying to speak again; "Uh, sorry but the fuck are you going on about?"

Mad Marvin grabbed hold of Ed's arms, more terrified than threatening, but it scared the man nonetheless. "Magic, boy! The Ishballans have the help of magic! Dragons, they said they have! Monsters the size of houses! Real bulls that stand on two legs and arms like a man! A snake that could turn you into stone if you dare look at them!"

"What? Dragons? Bulls with arms like a man?" Edward had never heard any of these stories before. Clearly, the man was believing in some story or folklore, because he mentioned magic and dragons. Neither existed, to Edward's knowledge, though the Aerugians liked to flaunt it- _wait._ "Magic? Like, Aerugians magic?"

The madman nodded quickly and laughed a manic laugh. "Broke me, they did. Break us all, they will! Magic, everywhere, here, there, away, later, everywhere!"

"Uh, ok um. Can you let go of me?" Edward was just a bit scared right now, the man could possibly go into a panic attack or suddenly get stuck into a violent flashback and he already had Roy's experience to prove how dangerous it was.

The man did let go, but put a finger to his lips. "Trust no one, Fullmetal! They could be anywhere, everywhere, nowhere! Winged lizards, a lion with a snakes tail that breathes fire and a goat upon its back or maybe a man jailed by the moon that turns into a wolf at the sun in the night sky." The man laughs again. "You'll know, Edward Elric, be keeping a watchful eye on the mice around here, they may be attracted to some men." With that, he ran off.

"Hey, Mr Shade Alchemist!" A couple of guards shouted and ran after Mad Marvin. Oh, so he was the Shade Alchemist, Edward wondered. The Shade Alchemist was known for creating clouds for many reasons, for rain, lightning and covering patches of light. It came in quite handy, but it was very difficult to pull off and took time for the materials to gather together in the air to create a cloud and it was impossible to make a cloud with little to no humidity. Last Ed heard about the Shade Alchemist was that he was going to be sent in undercover in… _oh. _

Well, that explained the look he wore and why he was sent here, broken to pieces. He was a spy and got caught, beaten the snot out of and thrown to the ground and just sent here to be repaired. Who knew what the military was going to do with him if he doesn't ever get fixed, or what will they do if he _does _get fixed?

Waiting for Roy to get released was a pain, Edward realised. He had to deal with Winry trying to check the measurements of his automail (yes, he'd actually _grown, _result!) and she complained about having to get some pieces from Central and bring them back to the nuthouse. She also mentioned a few thousand senz bill he had to pay, much to his annoyance. He didn't get a discount at all for being a family friend, though he could understand that there certainly wasn't a good market out for getting metal limbs around here, Rush Valley was more the place to get them, not Resembool. But they were closer to Ishbal than Rush Valley, shouldn't they be getting even a bit more publicity and customers than they are?

He also had to deal with the Shade Alchemist taking a liking to him. Fortunately, he no longer went on about dragons or bulls with arms, he was genuinely interested on how Edward could transmute without a circle. He had to pay a high price, but he never regretted it. For some reason, despite the fact he swapped his lungs with Alphonse's, he hadn't died like predicted. Maybe Truth was keeping him alive, crazy as it was, but Truth never had an outside voice or outside help. That made sense, keeping a slave alive; otherwise you'd have no slave left, right?

Truth had actually been a lot more talkative whilst Roy was gone, not in a good way either. It was constantly talking now; as if it'd been in a bout of 'leave me the fuck alone' for the past days he had been in this lab.

"No Roy to bother today?"

"No, he's still in solitary confinement."

"Ah, yes, because he strangled you, I remember." Edward just rolled his eyes, not caring if others thought he was talking to a blank space on the wall. He moved a chess piece, though he didn't particularly like chess, it was better than being bored. It wasn't so much fun since he had to move Truth's pieces for it, because Truth said, quote; "I'm a hologram and a hologram is merely but a vision, I can't touch things at all, but I do love a game of chess, so if you don't mind." Those were its exact words.

They continued playing chess in silence for most of the period they had free whilst Winry was heading out to buy some things. Edward didn't want to tag along because Winry would just use his money instead of her own and he wasn't a fan of shopping really, so he didn't bother. Aka, he was trying to avoid his bill, plus Truth wasn't fond of Winry and would just keep whining and complaining in the background and drive the alchemist a bit crazier than was safe to be.

Then Truth broke the silence; "You seem to care. How strange."

Edward looked up, more shocked that Truth actually spoke rather than what it said. "Pardon?"

"You care about Roy Mustang, the Flame Alchemist."

Edward rolled his eyes. "I don't-"

"I'm Truth, Edward Elric, I know all, feel all, am all." Truth grinned in that strange of its and tilted its head. "You like him more than is safe to."

Ed shrugged his shoulders but didn't bother defending himself, but he couldn't call Truth a liar either; "I've gone through worse things, being strangled by a half lunatic isn't the worst thing I've done."

"Quite true, but you're still only human. Only so much you can take." Truth kept smiling the same smile. It didn't really have any feeling behind it, but it was there and making Ed uncomfortable.

Then Ed brought the subject he was dying to know up; "But I've had these bad lungs for years and I'm still fine, why is that?"

Truth still smiled, even though it was a serious matter, he smiled the same as always. "What's an owner without his dog?"

"That's not an answer." Edward wasn't amused, that much was obvious.

"Immortal beings have their worshippers, but they have slaves too. I've many slaves, but you're not free from the boat yet, Mr Edward Elric." That's when Truth disappeared, leaving the chess game unfinished and leaving Edward even more puzzled than before. And bored, too. I guess he was thankful Truth was there sometimes, he was never left alone, not really.

Alphonse actually came shortly after Winry left and had gone to his house and probably informed him of everything that happened. She was a tattle tale, so it didn't surprise Edward to see Al running up, yelling at him for trying to think of an idea to sneak into Central Headquarters to find out the bastard that killed their step parents, probably because it will ultimately spell out his demise, and then there was the explanation of why he had a red handprint on his neck.

Alphonse took it better than Ed had thought, since his brother was quite overprotective, strange as it seemed. Really, Alphonse was a kind soul and he cared a bit too much, Ed admits, but there was rarely the chance to get a brother that cared so much about the other.

"Um. So, how ill is Colonel Roy Mustang really?" Alphonse asked, still worried for Edward's safety, considering the evidence.

Edward huffed, but decided to pacify his brother; "He can't talk and he gets violent flashbacks sometimes, but that flashback he had when he tried to strangle me was my fault. I mentioned the Rockbells' name and it sent him to the loophole." And it was true; he knew it was his fault, which was why he tried to get him to a more secluded area in case the crowd would cause a violent outburst. Turned out it didn't even matter in the end, Mustang would be thrown into that violent space of his mind that shouldn't exist no matter the area, crowd, feeling or environment. Those eyes, even though he shouldn't have been concentrating on those whilst he was being strangled to death, he would never be able to get out of his head, even if he went to a nearby pub and battered himself.

Those eyes, when locked into the abyss of his mind that broke because of waiting, mere waiting, after having done what he had were nothing short of a chasm. Like a chasm, they were open for the whole world to see inside, and Edward was pretty sure he didn't want to be looking in there. He did, however, and what did he see? A long crack running down Roy's pupil, almost invisible, but there. A great big crack that should never exist in a person, no matter how bad they were. It was that crack that was causing all the problems, opening Flame up to all sorts of memories, hallucinations and voices that aren't meant to be there. What was worse was that Ed could see, actually see, that crack opening up, bigger and bigger, longer, surer, ruining the land of Mustang's mind without a care in the world. Imagine a field with sheep, blowing grass and a few clouds in the sky, sun shining and the wind gently breathing by. Imagine that being swallowed up, a lightning strike hits the ground and a crack forms, the sky no longer a few clouds, but captured by black angry clouds, the grass set on fire and the crack opening up, bit by bit, a fissure breaking up the land and leaving both sides unattached and unstable, susceptible to all manner of things and the life just fades away. All it took was a spark, a single spark, and the land became extinct.

That was the current situation of Mustang's mind. Extinct, or nearing it. How to tell that in words that Alphonse would understand? That even Edward Elric, stubborn git of the world, didn't think Roy ever could recover completely?

"Um, Ed?" Alphonse brought that up another day he came over, after having sorted Winry out and allowed her to stay for a few nights. Roy still hadn't been released, though Edward was told it was soon. They didn't give him a time on when Roy would be released, typically, but he was sure that he'd be able to visit Roy, or ask to see Roy, after his session with Alphonse. It had been three days, after all.

"Yes, Al?"

Alphonse fiddled with his pen for a bit, even though they hadn't actually done much revising and Alphonse wasn't really here to study, but brought it along anyway, hoping to prolong telling Edward what Winry was doing, or had done. He couldn't tell, instead asking; "Will you be ok with the Flame Alchemist if he's like that?"

Edward didn't think much was amiss, it was normal for Alphonse to ask a question like that, he was like a mother hen, sometimes. It really was dependant on what had happened, but at least Roy Mustang was still in one piece, safely back in the cell. So he thought. Alphonse had brought up the question, since Edward was bouncing in his seat, unable to wait until he was finally out of the cell and back into the somewhat real world. He could finally tell Mustang that he forgave him and that it was his fault anyway, he knew about it, knew the risks and took it like the selfish prat he was. That and he could escape the likes of Mad Marvin, not something he wanted to repeat again.

"I'll be fine, it's better than hanging out with Mad Marvin."

"Mad Marvin?" Edward had conveniently forgotten to tell Alphonse about Mad Marvin, mostly because he wasn't sure Alphonse was really going to believe him. How to tell him the Shade Alchemist had, more or less, just become about as bad as Roy? Ed was now a lunatic magnet; that was great.

"The Shade Alchemist is here as well, but he's even worse than Roy right now."

"The Shade Alchemist!" Alphonse was surprised, last he heard, he'd gone missing, feared dead. When Edward told him the whole story, he realised why now. Of course the military would try to cover up him actually being a spy and possibly had been captured. That seemed the likely case, though he didn't seem that badly off physically, they must've ruined him psychologically, otherwise he wouldn't have been here in the first place.

As the minutes rang by of studying more for the State Alchemist exam, which would arrive in a few months' time, Alphonse become more and more fidgety, clearly hiding something. He was usually good at hiding things and lying, despite his kind nature, he could be as manipulative as Roy Mustang had once been, if he really tried. But this was his big brother, his only family he has left, that he was talking to and trying to keep a secret from. It was futile. Edward knew all those little details of when Alphonse was lying, near invisible to the naked eye of a stranger. If Alphonse was hiding something, his voice would falter a moment, as if thinking, he didn't stutter unless he was surprised. He clicked his pen one time too many, like he was trying to hold back from something and that was the way to get rid of that extra burning energy. He laughed too often, he had a sound sense of humour, but if you knew Alphonse, you knew he didn't laugh that often.

Little things like that told Edward that Alphonse Elric was being a lying little bugger.

"What are you hiding, dear brother of mine?"

Alphonse looked up, trying to smile his way into innocence, but that tiny drop of perspiration told him otherwise. _Hit the nail on the head. _"I'm not sure what you mean, brother."

Edward put the book he was currently holding down, notes on fire alchemy, some written by Roy Mustang himself and another, Justin Hawkeye, but his parts were largely left unfinished, like the man died before he could finish writing his studies down like he had wanted to. It was strange, both Mustang and Hawkeye's works seemed extremely similar; it wouldn't surprise Edward to find that they had worked together in the past.

"You know _exactly_ what I mean, _brother._" The eldest Elric let that final word ring out, before he continued speaking; "What are you hiding?"

Alphonse fidgeted for a few more moments, before he put the book down on the table, just as his elder brother had done so. He took a deep breath, before letting it out and saying the one dreaded sentence Ed didn't want to hear; "Winry called our teacher and she's on her way as we speak."

…

Said raven haired that the young golden haired mentioned earlier was not where he thought he would be, should be. Said raven haired was actually outside, for the first time in four days, trying to soak up the sunrays as if they were going to be taken away from him. It wasn't a surprise, considering he had been shunned from the light for the last three days and had chosen not to go out on the first before the three day sentence. How was he to know he would be taken from outside?

Currently, he was sat with his back leaning against the wall close to the streets of Central. The lab had a bit of a garden (what you could call a garden of tarmac) and the space if you had wanted to play. But these were broken soldiers, not traumatized kids; you couldn't cure both the same. The gates had been strong and reinforced, but in turning into a holding centre for the insane alchemists, the gates had been remaining shut and cars, lorries and people could come in whenever they pleased. The same bars above the fences existed and so did the barbed wire. Any idiot going rock climbing would have a horrible surprise there.

Mustang didn't go sand climbing much less rock climbing. He could run, if he wanted, but he was generally a lazy person. That being said, he didn't feel much like a person. Once he was let out, people avoided him, kept their distance and stared at him from a distance, like a ticking time bomb waiting to go off. Or maybe a wild animal ready to pounce, eyeing its prey and just waiting for a mistake to be made. Everyone called him a dog too, and coupled with the reactions of people along with the words, he really did feel like a dog.

The only thing that was different was that he was wearing clothes. Dogs didn't wear clothes, at least they shouldn't. He didn't like them, not right now, what with the sweat causing the clothes to stick to him like an extra skin. It felt disturbing, too close for comfort and he hurried himself to take them off. It was a pretty troublesome task, what with his fingers shaking slightly and moving too fast to really grab the buttons to undo, but he managed it, now sitting on the ground naked with his knees up to his chest, like a dog curling up. It felt comfortable like this, in the sun and soaking it all up before they take him away again and chain him up. He didn't have a collar, but a badge pretty much showed his owners to people, the badge that was stuck onto his uniform that now lay on the ground. He'd even gone through the trouble to take off his boots and socks too, completely at the mercy of the sun and skies.

He felt more at home like this, no clothes, no responsibilities and completely by himself. The only problem was that with no responsibilities, he was somebody else's problem. A dog couldn't feed itself properly without its owner, a dog couldn't talk, though it could bark, Mustang couldn't even manage to do that right now. With no voice, he couldn't bark if he wanted to, any kind of sound coming from his mouth robbed from his mind for… why, exactly? Nobody actually knew, maybe the mind was so scared that it had decided to block the voice box's connections and, therefore, not letting Roy make a sound; not a gasp, cry, moan, shout or a bark. He was less than a dog, because a dog, at least, could bark for attention, it could whine when it was hurt or lonely and it could growl when it didn't like something or as a warning. Roy couldn't even do anything, just write his words on a piece of paper and hope to Truth that someone would notice it.

Roy was surprised out of his thoughts when he noticed something was blocking out the sun. Annoyed, he looked up to glare at the pest that was disturbing his time to soak up the rays of the sun and came to see that the person was female, wearing sandals it seemed. She had dreadlocks for hair and had blood on her shirt, but Roy could tell from the scent that it was pigs' blood, not human. Butcher, he was sure, but what was a butcher doing here, straight from work, exactly?

He had to squint because of the sun burning right by her head, but he managed to catch the face of the butcher. Nobody Roy recognised, as if the dreadlocks weren't indication enough (he knew nobody in dreadlocks) but that made his confusion more apparent.

The person huffed and bent down to pick up his military jacket, the top pocket obviously containing his notepad and pen as the pocket was too small to hide it, the paper and pen poking out at the top. Roy didn't try to stop the person, it's not like he really needed it anymore anyway. The butcher lifted the badge so she could get a better look and she laughed.

Confused, Roy looked up at her, really looked at her, trying to understand why she was laughing. She wasn't laughing in the happy way, funny way or the evil way. Just… laughing, for no apparent reason.

The butcher finally spoke after her laughing finally died down; "A patient at Lab Five. Really?" She looked down at Roy, sitting naked in the warm sun, like a… "I hadn't noticed."

Roy made a growl signal, but turned his head away, like a sulking child. So he did that often, it wouldn't matter if he did. He wasn't getting any better. If anything, he was getting worse. He could hardly sleep; his eyes near resembling pandas' and he was starting to forget what his voice sounded like, he hadn't spoken in such a long time. If he did scream in his sleep, his guards never told him, but he was afraid to sleep now. He refused to nap, even though he needed it, _needed it; _he couldn't because those black arms of the nightmares could only get him once he slept. When he was awake, he was safe, but asleep… he was afraid he could never break from the next nightmare, every time they came.

Being out in the frontline was better than this. Out in the frontline, you were actually doing something; your mind was too busy to go through with this nightmare bullshit. Why couldn't he just return to that? Sure, it probably caused it, but at least he'd deal with this better out there being busy. That's all he needed to do, remain busy, keep doing something, don't rest, resting was bad, bad! All he needed to do was remain busy, busy, busy. Like a worker, a bee worker, always busy, never resting.

That would be futile, even fatal, Roy Mustang knew this. He ceased to care, however.

A whack on the head from his own notepad cruelly brought him into the cruel world of reality, or maybe the mercy of reality, as the nightmares were worse than reality. "You're pathetic."

Roy Mustang wasn't amused hearing that, glaring at the butcher full on, not caring that she was very handy with an axe, hatchet or a big knife, _she had just insulted him! _She didn't even know him! Sure, he _was _being pathetic; he knew that, he didn't need a stranger to tell him something obvious.

The stranger didn't deter; instead, she spoke again, authority spilling from her voice; "So, you think you're a dog?" Flame didn't make any attempt to confirm or correct her. "Sit up! Kneel!" It was a loud command, enough for Roy to jump and quickly kneel, sitting on his legs and look up at her for the next order. It was so similar to his Major General's voice; it held the same authority as his. She would've made a great soldier, if she turned down the hairdo. He held no shame in his nakedness either, for he was a dog.

The butcher didn't seem to care either; "If you're a dog, then you must know a lot of people are counting on you. Do you know what a dog can do, Flame?" Mustang continued to look blank, not sure if that was a rhetorical question or one he was really meant to answer. "A dog does a lot of things when it's told to. A Dalmatian helps with firemen, a German Shepherd helps with the police, a Rottweiler makes the best guard dog, a Pointer helps with hunting, a Cocker Spaniel could smell drugs in moments, Jack Russell's kill rats, Labradors help the blind and disabled, Chihuahuas look cute for their owners, St Bernards work with first aid in helping those trapped in the mountains and Sheepdogs have even been known to detect and find people trapped in rubble. Tell me you're useless now." Without an owner, Roy pretty much would be useless. A dog could never survive on his own, not with nobody to care for him.

"Here, you can make yourself useful." Said pig killer told Flame and handed him his pad and pen. Roy caught it, confused and looked back up at the butcher, wondering what she wanted. "Since you're here, you won't mind telling me where my stupid pupil is, do you?"

_Stupid pupil? _This butcher was a teacher?

That clicked. Mustang recalled that Edward spoke of a butcher that was his teacher that could use alchemy without a circle, just like he could. That meant she was a pretty good alchemist, right? What was she doing living as a butcher?

Mustang wrote that question down and showed it to the butcher. He couldn't remember her name, just knew that she was a pretty good alchemist if she could transmute without a circle.

The alchemist didn't seem amused at all by the question; it clearly showed as she dropped the pad and pen on the floor and grabbed Roy in that one rather uncomfortable and private place. It _hurt _and Roy couldn't help but tense up the way the alchemist wanted him to. His vision blacked out slightly, but his brain managed to function back to normal, though he felt the need to vomit. He had to concentrate hard to catch the butcher's next words.

"I'm just being a housewife, mind your own business. Now just tell me where my stupid pupil has gone." There was a clear threat in that tone and Roy didn't want to go any further and risk his, well not sanity per se, but maybe a fair bit of any innocence he had left. He nodded quickly and looked pointedly towards his pad and pen. With a sly grin, the butcher let go of his jewels and picked up and threw the pad and pen at the recovering man. "And get dressed before you write." Roy was happy to agree to that quickly.

After getting hurriedly dressed, Mustang got writing;

_I haven't seen Edward today, but if he's inside the building, he'd be in the canteen or the meeting rooms with Alphonse._

The 'housewife' smiled and nodded; "Names Izumi Curtis, run the butchers down south." _Thanks for the warning of avoiding that area at all costs,_ Flame made a note of that. At least he remembered her name and knew what she looked like; make it all easier to avoid her. Fullmetal had to put up with _that _for years? How the fuck did they even get along? They seemed to clash in the worst ways possible; Roy barely even insulted her and she went and tried to karate chop his penis off. Personally, he didn't want to know, but he did feel infinitely sorry for Edward, or calling Edward an idiot for sticking around her. Either one.

"Roy!" With great Elric grace, said elder Elric appeared out of nowhere, as he does, and launches his small but surely sturdy body into the black haired once catatonic man. Said once catatonic man was not expecting it and fell sideways on the floor, like you do when you have a man with two metal limbs throwing themselves at you. "They let you out! Finally!"

A cough from above shut Edward up. Looking up, he noticed the other person, said other person was his teacher. He had completely forgotten his brother said that Winry called her; he was also completely oblivious she was even there until she coughed.

Jumping quickly to his feet, helping Mustang get up to his too, he got formal, possibly for the first time in his life; "Ah, teacher! What a wonderful surprise to see you here!"

Teacher wasn't amused. Nothing seemed amusing to her (miserable cow, she was) and she continued to look like the devil spawn. Or Satan's messenger from above.

"A little birdie told me you got sent here. Funny, I didn't even get told you worked for the army." Edward resembled a kid caught with his hands in the cookie jar, looking everywhere but at his teacher in the face and fidgeting with his fingers and was starting to sweat in nerves.

"Ah… that might've just… I was sure I sent that message and I was sure that the pigeon (1) had taken my message and flew to the right place. Maybe it got eaten or something? Shot, maybe?" Mustang didn't think it likely that the teacher would accept that, after not hearing back for a year, you'd figure the pigeon got eaten by a falcon.

"I didn't teach you alchemy so you can go into the army. You still haven't grown up; you're as blind and stupid as ever." It was about the equivalent of your mother telling you she's disappointed in you, because Izumi acted like his second, harsher mother.

"I've got a good reason, teacher! Honest!" Edward tried pleading with Curtis.

She did hesitate and give him the opportunity; "Explain. Quickly."

That's what Edward did; "I wanted to show people that alchemy was good and could be used to help people! I thought the military was the easiest and fastest way… so I joined. I'm sorry, teacher, I just wanted to impress you."

Shockingly, his teacher was moved. She softened her glare and her stature relaxed as she placed a hand on Edward's head. "I suppose you were still young when you joined." Regardless, she still smacked him across the head. Hard. Roy cringed, though he was sure a grab to the dick was worse than that. "You're still an idiot for doing that! And you Alphonse!"

Both Fullmetal and Flame turned around to look at Alphonse, who had been trying to sneak through the conveniently open gate without his teacher noticing. Sadly, his teacher was a trained prowler, a leopard, or a panther, and could hear anything and everything around her. There was a reason that cats were feared, for they were the most cunning.

"Oh uh… hello teacher, fancy-"

"Al, that's really not going to work!" Edward tried to spare his brother trying the same trick as he did. The house wife wasn't fooling for it and grabbed Edward by the ear, before walking, dragging Ed with her, to Alphonse and grabbing his ear, causing him to drop his books.

"AH, teacher I'm sorry!"

"We didn't mean to forget to tell you!"

Their teacher did stop and let go of them, however, not for their mercy, and they knew better than to run away, but to go towards Roy and grab his pad and pen. Flame tried to protest but shut up real quick, his tail between his legs from one glare of Curtis. He remained there as Izumi made her way back to Edward and Alphonse, handing the pad to Edward.

"You might want to read this about your lover boy."

If you threw his head into a microwave for about a minute or two and bring it out, it'd be the same colour as Fullmetal's face was right now. Tomato red. "What! How did you know?"

"You're not exactly the best at keeping secrets. Do me a favour, women know everything." That's just what she'd say! Then again, Edward did notice that females did have a surprisingly better time at noticing things than the male of the human species did. Fullmetal often wondered why and he was tempted to study it, but he had a feeling if his teacher would read _minds _too, he wouldn't be alive much longer. Stopping that thought quickly, he took a look at the pad.

They were letters, letters Roy had written for him. Letters he wrote when he was in solitary confinement, stuck in his room with no company for three days and three nights. Written in _pen. _Edward wondered about that, but he decided not to dwell since Roy obviously didn't draw a transmutation circle when he had the chance to.

The first letter already had Edward covering his mouth with his hand. He remembered Roy being taken away, kicking and screaming and in his voice that he probably didn't even hear himself yelling; "Help me!" It still tore him that he couldn't help Roy at all that time, the first time in his life he felt completely useless, watching the one he cared about being dragged away from him and he didn't even know it, because he thought Ed was an enemy in his nightmare breaking into reality world.

He closed his eyes to fight that memory back and looked back to the letter. He noticed that Roy didn't even seem to _know _that he was being held in solitary confinement. What was this shit? How could he _not _know? Roy must've thought he hated him if he didn't even know he was in solitary confinement. How did he not push Edward away when he hugged him, tackled him? Ed wouldn't have wanted anything to do with the other if he thought what Roy must've done. He couldn't imagine what it must've been like; stuck in a cell all by yourself thinking that the one person that seemed to give a damn was going to come, only he doesn't. Not a word flew to his ears about that one person he thought gave a damn, thinking he probably doesn't anymore.

The second letter was even worse. Roy never faulted Edward at all for not coming. Roy never blamed Edward for not turning up, for breaking his promise. Roy blamed himself. Instead, Flame questioned himself before questioning Edward, he put himself lower than Fullmetal, he cared more about Edward than himself. He still remembered what he did to Yealland too and he sounded like he regretted it. Not regretting strangling the bastard, but for Edward having seen him at his worst. Did he really think Ed would be scared of that? Did he? But Roy was right, he did deserve an answer, it just never came.

The third was his undoing. He took note that Roy put down 'Fullmetal' rather than his name, clearly he was angry or disappointed at this point when this letter was written. Again, Mustang was blaming himself before he was blaming Elric, but he was begging in this letter. Roy Mustang wasn't the type to beg. He was breaking, to the point of shattering in this letter, pleading and so alone, feeling like a monster because that's how he was treated. It was true, he didn't see a monster of fire, he saw a human of passion, because that's what fire was. It was heated, it brought good growth to plants, but it destroyed things, burnt things beyond recognition in the process. That's what Mustang was; he was uncontrollable, but still beautiful in his own way.

Edward looked back up at his teacher; "He's really sick, teacher, he needs my help."

His teacher snorted, but she nodded; "Fine, you'll probably be hurt badly in the process, but they say love is blind. No surprise if it's you."

Edward scowled; "I'm not blind and I'm certainly not in love. We're just trying, but I haven't decided yet."

Izumi nodded again; "Be real careful, brat. Come visit the butchers sometime, Sig misses you boys too."

Alphonse was first to pipe up at the chance. "Oh, we will teacher! Soon!" The brothers waved as Izumi made her exit. Alphonse then took the chance to whisper to his brother; "How long can we keep it quiet?"

"My guess is a week." Edward whispered back with confidence. After Izumi finally left, Edward turned to his brother face on. "You don't mind I spend the rest of the day with Roy, do you? Just he's really upset with me, I think, and I haven't seen him in three days, you know?"

Alphonse laughed his excuses off, he knew the whole story. "Of course not, it'll probably be good for you two to hang around each other now. I'll head home and talk to Winry, let her know teacher came." Giving his elder brother a hug, he picked up the books he dropped earlier and made his way home.

Edward, meanwhile, ran to Roy's side and handed him his pad and pen. "Are you mad at me?" Roy looked confused at his partner, but shook his head. Edward sighed. "You seemed a bit angry in the letters; I hope you didn't mind me reading them. I tried to see you but the guards wouldn't let me."

Roy held up a hand and smiled slightly. Edward knew what he meant; he already knew and didn't hold Ed responsible at all. He was forgiven. Edward smiled, then looked confused as Roy handed him the pad again. Taking it, he realised this was on an earlier page than the three letters he read earlier.

_Ed,_

_Intimidated, that was my first feeling. Well, even that is being put lightly. I was scared; I had never felt so vulnerable in my entire life. Left on the chair to be electrocuted. Left on a chair, tied and completely vulnerable towards them. Bastards, the lot of them. Utterly disgraceful, and for them to be working for the military, and for the Fuhrer to be condoning such methods of curing this accursed disease! Reconsideration, that's what I'd love to put forth, but, alas, it would be deemed rare to be taken seriously by an apparent madman. Needless to say, my opinion remains unchanged about the disease itself, even now, it still confuses me. _

_Truthfully, some might take this as an advantage to get out of the war in Ishbal, can't say I blame them. Hell, this fact makes it difficult for the doctors to really treat us as human beings, when they can't understand us and those that fake get caught, it makes us all look bad. Even as we scream in the night, even as we plead for them to stop, we will never be seen as normal, living, breathing human beings, never again. Moments between nightmare and real life are the worst of all, I'm sure you're aware; you're always seeing _him _around, aren't you? Always there, at the back of your mind, but you pretend he isn't, because you want to fit in and be treated human like the rest of us. Lacking in acting, that's your problem. Lacking in height, now there's a feat I love about you, always._

Edward looked back up at Mustang. It was true; he knew what it was like. He kept seeing Truth, having conversations with Truth sometimes, sometimes even pleasant, intelligent ones, and he gets the weird eye from everyone. The moment they spot the badge on his uniform, they change their path and cross the road. It's like the badge said "I'm diseased, run away now!" Not quite what the badge said, but that was how the people interpreted it.

Then Edward smacked Flame hard on the arm. "I'm not short, you git!" Roy winced, still thankful that Edward bothered to hit him with his left arm but he smiled. At least Elric hadn't changed at all in his absence. "Still, you're better than Mad Marvin, I suppose." Roy didn't know how Mad Marvin was, but he didn't care. Ed didn't like the person, clearly, that's all he cared about. Flame still smiled and grabbed hold of the hand Ed had just hit him with.

The blond looked up at him, confused, then he smiled back slightly. He didn't have the heart to tell the guy he wasn't a girl or go on a rant. He owed Roy, after all, might as well get used to it. It wasn't that bad either. He was going to get better for Roy Mustang, because he needed all the help he could get and Ed wasn't about to leave him to fall into madness.

Walking back to the building to eat, Edward took another look at what Roy had written. Maes had to see this. Edward couldn't do this alone and he needed Maes to help him out. He just hoped as well they had done a good enough plan to stop Roy from seeing that paper article. But there was something about those letters. He wasn't quite sure what it was, but he was going to ask Maes to take a look at them anyway. Hopefully, Maes would know what to do.

* * *

Well, I'm not entirely happy with this. When am I ever? xD! BADLY DONE IZUMI she was hard, surprisingly hard to write. Not quite sure why. Oh well.

Make me happy :D and wish me luck in university! (also review, if you'd like.)

~Blackie

Footnotes~

(1) This was how messages were commonly sent during World War I and II, pigeons were the most useful of animals during the war as they flew at high speeds through wind and rain for secret messages. Usually, more than one bird was sent because a lot of pigeons got eaten along the way by falcons, Peregrin Falcons especially in London. They weren't used to send personal messages, as I'm sure there is actually a penalty for trying that and the pigeon was more than likely going to get eaten, but Edward had to come up with _something_. Crap as it was. For more details, watch the film _Valiant. _You won't regret it!


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